Post # 1
I’m getting married this weekend…just around the corner. Still can’t believe it’s going to happen. I need some advice from all the married brides out there about what I should focus on …on the wedding day. What’s something important to remember? Right now, I’m only thinking about all the things that could go wrong…and it’s only adding to the bags under my eyes…I’m basically a nervous wreck ( i tend to worry a lot)… I would appreciate any comments to aid me on the big day…
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2008 - Historic Inn
From the minute I woke up the day of the wedding, I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t stop shaking until about an hour before the ceremony when someone handed me a stiff drink. Sounds like you might be a bit like me in that regard.
My advice: just relax and enjoy the day. Take every spare moment you can to drink it all in, enjoy everyone’s love and affection, and really appreciate how all your hard work has come together. Mrs. Corn gave me this great piece of advice, too: just before you start your walk, pause. Look around at all those people supporting and loving you – you’ll never have a moment quite like that again – make the most of it.
At the reception, do whatever makes you happy. Grab your girlfriends and dance. Request any random song you want to hear.
As far as worrying about things that could go wrong – you are SO like me. But you’ve probably just about finished everything you need to, right? Do what you can at the beginning of the day to set up/get everything ready – but there’ll come a moment when you have to let go and focus on getting YOURSELF prepared. When that moment comes, relax and surrender control and know that everything will be beautiful. And it really will!
Hope this helps.
Post # 4
I would have to say, keep reminding yourself that it is only, one, day. One day in your whole life. And the actual wedding…is only 30-60 minutes! It is ghard to focus during that time, but it is important, or you will find yourself on the other side wondering how you missed it all.
Focus on your fiance. Focus on the moment. Even if the world crashes around you, you are still going to be married.
Post # 5
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING DONE BY FRIDAY! Any DIY projects not completed by Friday night when you go to sleep (make sure to schedule a decent night’s rest) is not to be done. I ran around Saturday morning like a chicken with my head cut off. Seriously. Without the aid of a bottle of champagne & some serious medical assistance I would have been majorly having a panic attack.
Things aren’t going to be perfect… I could count at least 10 things that didn’t go exactly as I planned (in detail in my little black book) but you know what… he showed up, I showed up…. and we both said I do.
Just focus on trying to enjoy the day. And remember as long as you both show up, that’s all that matters!
Post # 6
You’ve probably just spent a good amount of time and money planning out one of the biggest parties of your lives, so be happy, be calm, and let things slide. Afterall, nobody wants to be around a grumpy bride and chances are if you’ve got a good photographer, they’ll capture all your emotions, good and bad in pictures, so with that in mind, SMILE!!!!
Post # 7
I agree with all the Mrs up there too. I also took a few seconds to just look around and soak it all in. During the ceremony I tried to (of course focus dreamily at my groom) but to also look around at the setting and all the faces in the audience too.
Have a good time. If something doesn’t go as planned just let it roll.
Yeah!! and Congrats!
Post # 8
I would agree with what everyone has said, although I would go further and say be done with all the projects by Thursday, that way you can enjoy the company of your guests who are presumably coming into town to see you. Things are going to go wrong and there will be nothing you can do so just let them go. Chances are they will be the things you laugh over the most later.
I would remember what this day is all about: you are marrying the love of your life. If the escort cards don’t line up correctly or someone is late, who cares. They cannot start without you and at the end of the day you are doing something pretty amazing – committing yourself to someone else. I just looked at my husband and thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. Congrats and have fun!
Post # 9
This is probably one of the only times in your life when people from all areas of your life intersect (family, work friends, school friends, friends from three jobs ago.
Then you mix it in will all the people from your FI’s life! It’s crazy, and very cool at the same time, so soak it all in and think about that as you’re standing there at your reception.
Every wedding has hiccups, no matter how perfectly you plan it. It’s been said many times, but totally true…who else will know it was wrong except for you?
So turn your timeline and punchlist over to your coordinator/friend/family member at the rehearsal, take a deep breath and let it go and enjoy every second!
Post # 10
remember to breathe and smile. take a moment just to soak in the atmosphere and the people who will surround you. they all love you both so much–most importantly, have fun! I was a nervous wreck–i almost lost it as i was walking down the aisle with my dad, but when i got to the end of the walk and saw my DH staring right into my eyes, i knew that everything was perfect. it wouldn’t have mattered if everything had fallen apart, because the day was about him and i. but it still goes by in the blink of an eye! Congrats and best wishes!
Post # 11
Lots of great advice above.
I’ll add "Drink lots of herb tea!" Look for something with "calming" on the box. I’ve followed this advice (given to me YEARS ago) whenever I have a stressful situation approaching and it REALLY works.
Post # 12
Great advice everyone!
I would add extra emphasis to the fact that the party will NOT start without you. I kept telling my girls that the day before the wedding. "I want to make sure that everyone is on time that day, but keep in mind that this party don’t start ’till I say so!" That eleminated SO much stress!
I also seriously second the cut off time for DIY projects! Get it into your head that if it’s not done by the Rehearsal dinner (or a reasonable time that evening) then you let it go. Trust me, you’ll be a lot more happy that you got a good nights rest, or had some relaxing time with your girlfriends then that those little crystals got glued on the seating cards or ribbons were tied around the bubbles!
I also recommend being extremely honest with yourself. Take stock of the things you think are going to stress you out and let those closest too you know how to help you in case you start to get overwhelmed.
I did something that I am very thankful I did. I have a friend who has been very special to me on my spiritual journey. Since my spiritual journey is very different to my DH’s family, we decided not to include any spiritual references in the ceremony at all. So, I decided that the morning of the wedding, after I got back from the salon but before I put my dress on, I would have my friend go outside with me and do a grounding ritual. This was extremely special for me and we talked alot about what should be included during the time leading up to the wedding weekend. It ended up being one of my favorite parts of the day. It really grounded me, helped me see what was important (i.e. not the little details that I was so worried about) and any time I started to get worked up I was able to go back to that grounded place that we had set. No matter what your religious ideas, I would highly encourage asking someone to help you "ground" yourself whether that is prayer or yoga or guided meditation or anything else that you find helpful. BUT make sure you schedule it in and schedule more time then you think you’re going to need because you will be running late! Otherwise you won’t do it. I had put down 30 minutes on my schedule knowing i needed at least 10. It worked out perfectly. I didn’t get the 30 minutes I wanted, but I did get about 15 minutes.
Good luckand congrats!
Post # 13
Ask yourself if there’s anything that could go wrong that would ruin the day for you. Not something that would be a bummer, something that would be a big deal. Find someone you trust to be in charge of that thing and let it go.
For the other stuff that doesn’t matter as much, do the same thing.
You’re making an enormous emotional commitment, and I think it’s important that you make the day about that. The party will be nice, the party will be fun (even if your cake melts or your centerpieces get left behind). But the reason for all of it is you committing to this person, and I think it often gets lost in the shuffle of the day.
Many people say they don’t remember anything about their wedding day, that it was a blur. They didn’t eat the food that they spent so much time planning. They don’t remember the details they worked so hard on. They barely smiled in the candid pictures. How sad to not remember the best day of your life!
So set yourself up to be stress free so that you can remember.
Also, Ambien is the best sleeping pill ever. Get rid of some of those bags. 🙂
Post # 14
I have a couple bits of advice for you, and a couple things I did to make the day extra special.
First, if there is anything in particular you are worried about going wrong, delegate it to a bridesmaid, or if they’re already full of duties, a friend who will be there. People LOVE to help out, and then you don’t have to worry about it. Of course, I had no choice but to do that at the end because I planned the entire thing by myself, with no coordinator or DOC.
Don’t feel like you have to greet absolutely everyone that comes. It won’t happen anyway, and it’s better to let yourself off the hook. Those who really want to make sure and get a moment with you will seek you out anyway.
Really savor the moments with your family. Those are the most precious of all.
One thing I did to start the day off right: I had breakfast with just my dad. My mom died when I was 22, and I still don’t know my stepmom all that well (he remarried a year after my mom died), so I wanted some one-on-one, grounding, relaxing time with him before all the hair/make-up appts. and everything else started. It was amazing, and the best thing. It was also the only meal I ate that day because I was too nervous for lunch!
Delgate someone to make sure that a take-home box of food from your reception gets sent with you. It serves two purposes: one, if you’re socializing and don’t get to eat (which happened to us), you’ll still get food. Two, if you get to eat, late at night once you’re at your hotel/room/whatever for the night you’ll be hungry. Then you’ve got some yummy food to enjoy.
Have an amazing day, and remember – the most important thing of all is that at the end of the day you will be married, no matter what else happens! Best wishes to you!
Post # 15
I was stressed off up until the wedding day.
Until my mom set me down and said stop trying to managing everything. It doesn’t look good, and it’s true in the photos at rehearsal most of the time I was just giving directions.
I would say make a checklist of everthing major that you want to happen, and give it to someone you trust, your venue manager, and yoru DJ, and emphasize that you’re going to rely on them to make sure it all goes well. You don’t plan to manage it yourself. Give a list of the photos you really want to get to your photographer, a tell her you won’t be looking at it, so you trust her to help you get all those photos.
I didn’t get this, but I thought about it later, if you’re getting your make-up done, see if you can keep the paper that the make-up artist brinds with your make-up colors. It’s a really cute keepsake, I wish I thought to keep.
If you can, see your friends or family before or after. It’ll make it less stressful to try to socialize with everybody later.
You know what a billion things could wrong, but in the end the wedding is about you two being happy and together, so as long as that happen you’ll have a fabulous time.
Post # 16
I can’t thank each of you guys enough for the advice. I was shaking my head yes to each one…to the point where I should print this out and remind myself that my wedding day is about me.
Have to admit that I am a people pleaser…and that’s been the hardest part for me because I lost what was special in the planning process. I was strict and always giving directions..didn’t have much fun.
Now, thanks to all of you I’m going to have FUN on my wedding day…
it’s my day..and won’t let anything take that away…
I feel so great right now…