CALLING ALL WAITING BEES WHO ARE DATING FOR 5+ YEARS!!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We’ve been together 10 years and are getting married this summer. There was no plan or timeline, we just got to this point when it was right for us 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

He proposed a couple months before our 5th anniversary. We met at 18 and started dating at 19, so he waited until we had been out of college for a year and both had fulltime stable jobs before he proposed. Most (not all, but most) of the longer relationships I know are because the couple started out together younger and (wisely, imho) waited until they knew they still worked as a couple as responsible adults, and until they were financially stable/out of college/out of grad school/whatever their goal was, before getting married. I was “waiting” for about 6 months…I would have liked to have gotten engaged sooner, but when he told me he wanted us both to find fulltime jobs, I found it responsible and reasonable. He waited until 6 months after we both had fulltime jobs though, and I’ll admit, I would have loved a proposal the second after I got my job as a celebration, lol. 

Post # 5
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  

How long are you together? 8 years this fall! 🙂

How long are you waiting? Since this February until the end of this year/beginning of next so about a year.

A little story if you’d like to share.

Have been dating since we were teenagers. Split up for a little while in college while we both *discovered ourselves* and realized we could never be apart 🙂

Our career paths are similar so that makes a lot of things easier. I finished college and he is finishing soon (he was military first). I think we are progressing just fine!

Comments that you find ANNOYING!

“If he doesn’t know by now he never will” – except he DOES know, just because there isn’t a ring yet doesn’t mean both of us don’t know.

“If he loved you he would have proposed already” – I have no question in my mind that he loves me.

 

We’re both on the same page with our timeline (now lol) and I couldn’t be happier with him! If someone is considering leaving their SO after a couple years because he hasn’t proposed then it sounds like they want a wedding more than the man. (At my age anyway – 20’s) and neither of us ever want kids so what’s the rush?

Post # 6
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

If you are young and waiting many years that is different than being in your 30s and waiting many years. I think you are doing the right thing not rushing at your age. Go through as much as you can with your SO to help prepare you for a strong marriage. At any rate, over half of the people that give you annoying comments about you dating that long will be or are going to be divorced someday according to statistics so try not to let them get to you. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Right? lol I think I would be a pretty good judge of whether or not he loves me I don’t need other people to do it for me!

I will be absolutely thrilled when we get engaged! Knowing we took our time and we’re doing it because we want to, it feels right, and we’re in love. Not because we reached that special number of years and are “supposed to” get engaged or because one of us might leave if we don’t. I wouldn’t want him to make such a big life decision base on pressure.

Post # 10
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@Ashley8200blue:  “over half of the people that give you annoying comments about you dating that long will be or are going to be divorced someday according to statistics”

I agree and I tend to think this quite often (I can be a bit of a relationship snob, hehe). Not saying it can’t work for people who don’t wait as long, but I’ve witnessed numorous relationships get together, get married, and get divorced within the course of my relationship.

Post # 11
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  FI and I got engaged just before our 6 year dating anniversary. Even though I believe we are getting married at the perfect time (for us), I was waiting on a ring for about 2 years. We began dating when we were 19 and we had to endure countless comments about when we planned to marry. I think it is wonderful to find the love of your life at such a young age, and I also think it’s wonderful to wait until you are both mature enough to begin a marriage. Don’t worry about what ANYONE says!!!!

Post # 12
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ValerieBee03:  I also agree with this. I think it definitely works out for some couples who have short relationships, but FI and I have witnessed dozens of couples meet, begin dating, become engaged, and call off the wedding while we continued to have a strong relationship while waiting patiently for the right time to get married. After being together for so many years and being through so much together, I think it only makes the relationship stronger!

Post # 13
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I enjoyed reading this thread.  What works for some (marriage relatively quickly into a relationship) doesn’t for others.  Some people, EVEN women, don’t want to “settle down” until their late 20s or 30s.

Our story:  got together in 2000 at age 17 and 19, fell madly in love, went off to college on opposite coasts, broke up because we were super independent and didn’t want to tie each other down, realized we were still madly in love, had an semi-open relationship for a couple years, realized it was time to lock that shit down, spent the next 10 years living together and apart (I’m a wildlife biologist = got a master’s degree and worked in Ecuador, CA, ND, UT, MT; he got 2 bachelor’s degrees), settled into careers, I nudged him a bit about marriage, we bought a house, we started talking about kids in a couple years, he proposed in 2012, and we’re both absolutely thrilled to be getting married in 3.5 weeks!

I always wanted to get married around age 30, and that didn’t change just because I found my life partner at age 17.  I’ll be 31 at our wedding.

Post # 15
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Our stories sound similar! We met when we were 15 🙂 We broke up a few times, but have mostly been together for 10 years now. Solidly together for almost 4. And we have known for a long time that this is it. It has just taken a little longer to make it “official”. But the way we look at it, we have outlasted a LOT of relationships..even some marriages! So by the time we are actually married, we will be better off than a lot of couples!

Post # 16
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

He proposed 6 days after our 6 year anniversary.  I think also age plays a huge role – I was 17 when we started dating so I wanted to finish college, get a job and start my adult life. 

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