(Closed) Calling everyone that has tried Mr. Bee’s Back Up Plan…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I can’t say I followed the entire “plan” since I started it before I was on WB, but, when I stopped focusing on getting engaged/”when are we going to get married”/etc, our relationship became much more positive and relaxed!!

I started this last October after a HUGE blowup/almost breakup over getting engaged.  BF really needed more time to be a bachelor and get over some of his fears of marriage.  We still talked about getting married, but I let him bring it up, and I was always careful to assure him of my patience and that I was not pressuring him in any way.

I think this really helped him feel like it was a decision we came to mutually instead of one that he was “trapped” into making because it was the next logical progression of our relationship.  In the past few months, BF has gotten excited to get married, including getting excited about wedding details haha, and I’m pretty sure engagement is imminent. 

So, take Mr. Bee’s advice, but make sure you customize it to your man based on what you know and what you think will work!!  Good luck! 🙂

 

Post # 4
Member
1279 posts
Bumble bee

I asked the same question months ago and got like 3 responses 🙁 

I used the back up plan from the beginning though, I didn’t make things easy for my bf and I kept my own schedule and my own life.  Well it did work because he is totally in love with me and I don’t feel walked all over and taken advantage of like in past relationships. 

Post # 5
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Just have your own life- When my FI and I spent a few days apart a couple of months before he proposed it like totally made him realize how much he wanted to be with me.

Post # 6
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What is mrs.Bee’s back up plan?

Post # 8
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Good for you!!  I know it can be super tough, especially if you’re like me and have been ready forrrrrrever and BF… well, he has his own timeline haha. It really is good for you to focus on where you are right now, not where you’ll be a year from now.  Because if you aren’t content dating, you might not be content when you get engaged cause there’s a whole new set of issues that present itself.

For me, I focused on my career, applied for jobs, worked out, and learned how to backpack (with BF… so much fun!!).  My sister and best friend both recently got married, so (although it was a little hard) I focused on helping them plan their weddings.  These little things really helped me remember that engagement is just a small blip in the course of life, and I didn’t want to miss out on all the fun I can have in the meantime!!

Plus, a side benefit to waiting longer to get engaged, is that we have more money to save/pay off loans!  That was a HUGE priority for us, so I’ve been working on saving money and paying off debt.  These little things really helped me to focus on making myself a better person, and keep myself content in the season of life where I am today.  You’re on the right track… keep going!! 🙂

 

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh I’m in the same boat as you!!! Ready to maybe implement the “plan” but we had the big talk last weekend and it seems promising….

I think taking a trip out of town is a *really* good thing to do. For you. To clear your head. And have FUN! And if he happens to miss you a whole bunch like Miss Peace’s FI, that’s just a side benefit 🙂

I’m having great successes at work but it’s difficult for me to totally focus on my career becuase it’s not as satisfying as it once was. And my next big move doesn’t make me think of “right now”, it makes me think of the future, and is he going to be a part of it? So then I’m spinning again.

So I’ve really gotten more into my hobbies! That’s how I customized.

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