Calling off our 125 guest May wedding… (how to tell people)

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would definitely tell the bridal party in person and be prepared that they may not be thrilled with your change of plans. Not saying your plans are wrong, but you may hurt some feelings. People will get over it, but if you’re prepared for their reaction you’re less likely to react defensively. I would also make a point to personally speak to anyone who you think might have been planning to travel for the wedding so they don’t make plans or buy plane tickets. For anyone else, not involved in the wedding, I’d just  let word spread that you’re planning to elope. I’m assuming you haven’t sent out save-the-dates or invitations at this point?

Post # 4
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ccantics:  I’m assuming this is just for not close friends because surely they will talk to you and find out. Have you sent out invites yet? I guess you could always just never invite people and when they ask you can tell them your new plan, then afterwards you could send out an announcement so the people who you haven’t talked to aren’t still expecting something.

Post # 5
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@ccantics:  Kelly Clarkson actually did this last year. She and her FI (now DH) sent out a card featuring their engagement photo. It had a simple message saying that they decided to elope and they hope people understand. You could do something like that.

Or you could see about calling people personally to tell them. You might want to do that with at least the people you are really close to (like close friends and your immediate family) because they deserve to hear about it first. And if you don’t want to send out the cards you can always see about having your parents help you guys call everyone on the guest list to let them know – otherwise it could take a while.

Post # 7
Member
4220 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I guess it depends if you sent out invitations or not yet…

Post # 8
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

Yay Iceland! We’re going there in four weeks as part of our three country honeymoon :D.

Post # 10
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ccantics:  Excellent! i’d be excited about Iceland too! Sounds like you’ve got a good plan!

Post # 11
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Have BM’s bought dresses for the wedding you originally planned?

Post # 13
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

Whew!  Well from an etiquette standpoint, since no STD’s or invitations were mailed you don’t technically have to do anything.

However, you and your mom can get the word out in your family and your FI can handle his side.  As far as your friends who would have been invited – you can call them, send a PM, or an email and let them know your plans have changed.

If you had sent invitations  you would have followed that with a card stating
“The wedding between ccantics and  FI will not take place as planned.”

Post # 14
Member
906 posts
Busy bee

I would at least invite your grandparents to the Iceland wedding. They are one of the most important people of the wedding. 

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