Post # 1
Hey lady bees!! It’s been a while since I posted anything and I hope you are all doing well!
OK, down to business. Ring shopping has commenced and I’m leaning heavily toward a moissy (in fact, the one I sent a link of to my SO was marked SOLD as of Thurs afternoon, when I just so happened to be out of town for the evening… so maybe I already HAVE a Moissy! Whooo knows?!?)…
We live together, own property together, and make our financial decisions together. It’s been this way for quite a few years. I’ve realized I feel like I would have a heart attack if more than maybe a thousand bucks was spent on a single piece of jewelry… I pretty much want a life as opposed to a fairytale. We’re comfortable financially, but would not be considered “wealthy” and have limited disposable income as most working Americans.. I personally would feel this money is just much better spent upgrading our home, being squirreled away for vacations.. Basically on living our lives as opposed to on jewelry.
Additionally he is generally very conscientious about what he purchases and where. He won’t even sign cell phone contract with companies that have political affiliations he disagrees with.. the fact that he has such strong opinions and convictions is one (from the long long list) of the things I love most about him. He has a LOT of opinions about the diamond monopoly, and about the environmental problems mining creates. He told me if I felt strongly about it he would put them aside to make sure I was happy with the ring he got for me.. However, I kind of like that the potential purchase of a moissy is representative of something I love so much about him. Also because we’re total nerds and we really like referring to them as “space diamonds”.
My only concern is the social stigma of not going with a diamond. I try not to care what others think, I really really do. However there is still a part of me that worries people will make “opinions” upon hearing that I’m not sporting a legit diamond (as I do NOT intend to try and pass it off as one.).. Opinions that we’re cheap, that he didn’t love me enough to break the bank, that it’s “tacky”, that it’s practically cut glass because it was grown in a lab instead of plucked from the earth.. I know these things are NOT the case, but hate the idea of others making assumptions about me and bub.
So, I thought I would take to the bee to get some support from you ladies who are moissy champions.. I am NOT looking to be talked into a diamond. Those of you who have gone that route undoubtedly have beautiful rings that are right for you, and while I appreciate that, it isn’t the right choice for me… I am really just looking for some advice as to how you ladies who rock your moissanites proudly deal with sneers from rich bitchy co workers and other judgey jerks of the like! Please and thanks! <3
Post # 3
I think step number one is to stop defending your choice. I often see moissanite owners come on here and give a laundry list of “why”. Own it. That, in it of itself, does the reversal of what you’re asking for. There is nothing different about an engagement ring that has XYZ stone in it — it serves the same purpose & represents the same thing.
NO ONE has ever said anything rude to me (to my face anyways) and if they did I would tell them to fuck off. I have received nothing but compliments on my ring & everyone I know knows what it is. What other people think is a reflection of them not on you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands
I have a Moissy and I’m more “don’t ask, don’t tell” about what it is. It’s not that I’m not proud of the ring on my finger. I adore it. If someone asks what it is, I tell them, but I don’t go announcing to every single person I know, especially the ones I know would be judgmental. It saves a lot of potential drama and headaches. The important people know, and that’s all that matters.
Post # 5
@deetroitwhat: I know that you’re right. The ring I picked is a ridiculously beautiful piece of jewelry that I love, representing something that is super special. I need to own that, and put everything else aside. My concern was primarily based on several rich trophy wife co workers who are generally pretty judgy. I usually don’t care what they think, but I would just hate for their sneers to ruin my good vibes. I guess it really is just a reflection on them if that ends up being the case.
@mepayne: That’s my intention as well. It’s nobodies business what kind of rock I’m sporting. I don’t intend to shove it in peoples faces anouncing it’s a moissanite (I DO intend to shove it in peoples faces though. LOL) but if asked I certainly wouldn’t lie.
Post # 6
@KoalaWalla: I’ve been wearing Moissy for almost 7 years. I guess people probably assume it’s a diamond, but in 7 years it has never once come up. If I had a friend who was on the verge of getting engaged, I would definitely tell them about it so they knew their options. Be proud of your Moissy!
ETA Pic of your ring?
Post # 7
I absolutely LOVE my moissanite ring! It is the exact ring I wanted. I agree with mepayne, I don’t announce it to anyone who looks at my ring. (and I shove it in faces sometimes too haha) I’ll be honest, NOBODY has ever asked if my ring was a diamond or not. I think people just automatically assume it is and dont say anything….or they keep their opinions to themselves maybe? I do know some “judgy” people as well and they have never said anything, not in front of me at least. I know I love my ring and wouldn’t change it for the world!
Post # 8
@KoalaWalla: I freakin’ love having a moissy!! I personally just feel bad for the people who get all “judgey” about me not having a diamond, it’s sad to me that so much of their self esteem/worth is tied up in material objects. To be perfectly honest, the rudest comments I’ve ever heard about moissy vs diamond, are right here on WB; so as long as you can deal with that, I’m sure you’ll be ok.
Post # 9
@KoalaWalla: I don’t own a Moissy but I can give you this advice: the stone is beautiful. Anyone who sneers at it just because it’s not a diamond really has some kind of insecurity they’re taking out on you. If you want one you shouldn’t hesitate just because a coworker might get snotty. You are the only one who has to be impressed with your ring. It’s no one else’s business to judge.
Post # 10
i loved my moissey because of the size you get for $ and the sparkle was amazing outside. I will either get another or an asha. diamond is just out of budget unless I find an antique.
Post # 11
@ceebree: No pics just yet. We looked at Moissanites in person, loved them, but found that there were more online options. I’m 99% certain SO has since purchased what we decided on while I was away with my girlfriends this week (eep!), but don’t want to jinx it by posting. I’m aware I’m being weirdly superstitious. lol.
What I’m pretty sure is THE ONE is a 2 ct cushion cut solitaire with a simple white gold band.. My style could be defined as classic preppy, and the majority of my everyday jewelry is simple classic silver pieces. I loved all the vintagey halos I’ve been seeing, and seriously considered something along those lines. After some thought though, a solitaire just feels like the right choice for me. I decided on a cushion because while it still looks classic I feel like the shape is just a little unique.
I’ve read that cushion cut diamonds tends to have less fire than other cuts.. So I feel like a moissy is perfect on that front as well. I can get the cut I want and still have all of that sparkle!! Winning! haha.
Post # 12
@KoalaWalla: Honestly, I’ve never encountered any judgement in real life. Sometimes people will think that we got it as a “starter” stone, but they are always quick to accept that this is what I really want as a forever stone when I clarify. People will ask what moissanite is and why we chose it, but I’ve never had anyone be rude about our answers. You’d think from the internet that there’s some huge diamond vs. moissanite rivalry, but I’ve never really run into anyone who cares about my engagement ring one way or the other.
Post # 13
I don’t have a moissanite so I can’t speak from experience but honestly I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I doubt 99% of people you interact with will have any clue (I’ve spent a lot of time on ring boards so I would likely be able to tell IRL, but I’m way in the minority!). I think the advice to just be confident and not make excuses like deetroitwhat said is the biggest thing. People are just not that into jewelry off WB I don’t think so if you don’t act insecure, I don’t think it will be an issue. I also would be in the don’t ask don’t tell camp I think if I had a moissanite. Congrats on your ring and be sure to post pictures when you get it–it sounds gorgeous!
Post # 14
@KoalaWalla: tell anyone who asks what you just said here 🙂 your partner sounds awesome!
Post # 16
I think you will find more often than not that people just say “Oh, pretty ring!” they don’t elicit an explanation, & frankly at times like that it would be odd to give one. Because it’s almost like saying “Oh, you think it’s pretty, but I should be upfront that it’s not what you think it is, & thefore not as nice as a diamond.” That’s just odd.
So, don’t feel the need to defend your decision or go around town singing about it because then it seems like you are trying to talk it up due to a guilty conscience or something.
Trust me, as a moissy owner, after getting the ring you will feel so incredibly valid for making the decision you did when you see how beautiful it is, & how it really is a forever stone.
The world isn’t as cruel to moissy owners as people on the bee can be.
Don’t stress about it 🙂