Post # 1
My husband’s (yes, I can call him that, because we’re married!) best friend is engaged to be married in December. He refers to his Fiance as “the wife” and it drives my husband insane! He get’s so angry and says things like, “you haven’t earned the right to call her that yet” or “that word is reserved for people who are married, or at least common law”
It is a mild irk for me but doesn’t get under my skin as it does him.
Wondering what the bees think of this?
Post # 4
Sometimes I refer to FH as “my husband” because it rolls off the tongue easier than “fiance” IMO. I also say “husband” sometimes because I think “fiance” can sound pretentious in certain company. FH called me his “fiance” before we were even officially engaged, so I don’t see how it’s any different than that. I know we definitely don’t do it to be offensive to anyone, nor does it offend us either way.
Post # 5
It doesn’t bother me too much but I think it is a little strange.
Post # 6
@metalbride: Ya, i’ve heard people say that and it’s irritating. you’re not married, why would you call them that?
Post # 7
@metalbride: people accidentally refer to my Fiance as my husband all the time and I love it! lol. I never refer to him as such, he is my “fiance” to me, but I don’t correct other people when they say, “how did your husband do at his interview?” etc.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I think it’s kinda weird, but I also think it’s weird that your guy gets actually angry about it.
Post # 9
I think it’s really annoying.
Right after our friend B proposed to his girlfriend X, she bought him a ring about a week later, made him wear it, and started calling him her husband, and she demanded he call her his wife.
She was crazy possessive though, and he has low self esteem.
Shortly thereafter, and before their wedding, I was told I couldn’t be friends with him anymore, because I’m female. He had to stop talking to all of his female friends. Now the only people he hangs out with, are her friends. They’ve been married for ~4 years now. We’re all hoping good overcomes evil and they get a divorce.
Post # 10
We’ve called each other wife and husband since the engagement, but only on a rare occasion and just when it’s us.
Post # 11
@metalbride: It would irk me too but, meh.
I admit I totally judge when an unmarried couple with no plans to marry call each other husband or wife. If you’re not married, you’re not married. Why reject marriage but then pretend you’re in one?
Post # 12
I think it’s a little dumb and childish to call someone who isn’t your husband or wife that by that title.
Just like people who are dating who do it.
I think these days, when so many people get divorced, marriage doesn’t hold the same meaning as it used to so the titles are used more freely.
Post # 13
What they call each other doesn’t matter to me. However, I can sympathize with your husband in a way. My parents like to say “Well your husband…” I cut them off right there and say “NOPE! NOT YET! He’s my fiance. That’s it. We aren’t married yet!”
One of the things I don’t care for in our society is this laxed and lazy way of just rolling into things and basically saying “well we live together and have kids together so we’re practically married… so same thing.” NO! NO! NOT the same thing. It seems lazy to me.
Post # 14
We only call each other husband and wife to people we don’t really know (i.e. with salespeople I may say “oh I’ll talk to my husband about it”). But I don’t do it to people I actually know. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else call each other husband/wife if they weren’t actually married.
Post # 15
I agree that marriage (title, idea, ceremony, legality) all mean a lot to me. I agree with a lot of the PP’s that hearing people who never intend to marry use the terms is annoying.
That being said – we are almost 90 days out, we say it playing around. I think we do it mostly to get used to rolling off the tongue – the conversation changes it will cause. Like…practice? lol
We don’t do it in public, just at home – and it’s kinda fun to play with the terms 🙂 But I feel like it’s more of us ‘getting ready’ then abusing the sanctity.
Post # 16
@Artificial-Sweetener: I agree. I don’t think I’d be angry over it, but I do find it annoying and slightly immature – like you’re impatient or trying to play house.