(Closed) Calling yourself fat… Does that word have power over you?

posted 8 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think people use the word curvy to be nice…. I have gained alot of weight in the past year and know I am now FAT not curvy…. But I also think it depends on how you view it too.  I look at some women and think they are curvy but my friend will think they are fat…. So whos to say where curvy stops and fat begins lol….

Post # 4
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

Disclaimer: I am not overweight so take my opinion with a grain of salt 🙂

I think curvy has become too PC. Many women are larger and curvy and beautiful and perfectly healthy. The problem is when women who are overweight use curvy as a way of covering up that they really do need to lose weight! Instead of owning up to the fact that they are larger than they should be and should work on their health they say “I’m not overweight, I’m just curvy.”

I like that you are owning the word though! You are acknowledging that you are, in fact, overweight and unhealthy. But you are not calling yourself fat to bring you down or be mean to yourself. I think as women we need to be as honest with ourselves as possible. The world is cruel and we do ourselves no favors by lying about what shape (mental, physical, emotional, whatever) we are in.

Post # 5
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

babyboo i totally agree its like if you say your curvy then its ok if your overweight which I dont think is wrong just not healthy… For me at least I know I have used curvy to make myself feel better but still know inside that I need to change.

Post # 6
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You’re so right – I can just about use the word fat to jokingly describe myself in the 3rd person, but mainly because I now don’t view myself as fat (I am 2lbs the wrong side of the normal/overweight boundary, and heading in the right direction).

I remember vividly being embarrassed in school aged about 5, when the teacher asked us to suggest words that meant the opposite of “narrow” and I said “plump” – spot the kid with the weight problem and the euphemistic family!

I have to say, I’ve never referred to myself as curvy, as I’m blatanly not – no waist, narrow hips, and a b-cup bust. I have, however, been “bigger”, “chunky”, “plump” and “overweight”. Not fat, though. Even when, at 17, I tipped over the boundary into clinical obesity. 

The trouble is, it’s such a negative word – “fat cow” etc, and it’s up there with other insults like “ugly” and “stupid”…while “overweight” sounds sort of clinical and non-judgmental. I think that’s why it has such power – no-one has ever been called fat in a nice way. 

I suppose it’s just so easy to be judgmental – I lost 60lb before going to Uni, and immediately felt myself judging other people who were fat, and I still find myself doing it – even though I have friends (including my bridesmaids) who would probably kill themselves if they were ever as fat as I am now, nevermind as fat as I was then. 

Sadly, the only way to escape the power of the word is to ditch the fat itself, and then it really has no power over you. 

Post # 7
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think you’re right.  I think “curvy” is a very PC was of saying fat, overweight or obese.  I don’t trick myself into thinking I am curvy.  I know that the truth of the matter is that I’m more lumpy like gravy than curvy like a new Schwinn.  But I think overweight/fat people are much more comfortable with the words “fat” and “obese” than skinny/average people are.  True story time…

My senior year of college I was in a course about contemporary social challenges (I went to a liberal arts college…surprised much?).  One topic we covered was obesity.  One girl in my class would NOT acknowledge that we were talking about people and not lab subjects.  She made a statement about how overweight people are not happy and it’s no one’s fault but their own and blah blah blah.  Well my hand immediately shot up and I simply stated, “I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but I’m fat.  My bmi is in the obese range and…(so on and so forth).”  The bulk of the class looked at me in shock.  My argument was that I am a very happy person with fulfilling relationships.  I also noted that it is possible to be overweight and otherwise healthy…just check my exams and labs.  But she responded by acting like I hadn’t made any sort of personal statement and said, “No, overweight people aren’t happy, their bodies aren’t happy. Blah blah blah.”  Moral of the story?  She wouldn’t acknowledge the  personal aspects of my statement.  She treated me as if I was quoting research instead of my own experience. 

Okay, I feel like I didn’t make much of a point just now…that’s what I get for trying to make sense in the midst of a week of working overtime.

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

“curvy” is to “fat” what “waif” is to skinny, There are always going to be words to take the sting out of it for the more sensitive people. Sometimes bluntness doesn’t go over so well with everybody but if the person being blunt is being blunt to themselves, well, that’s a good thing =]. My mom is always blunt with me and it keeps me in check

I think you’re just calling it like you see it and that’s always a trait I admire.

PS this reminds me of an episode of Friends where Joey is eating something and says, “I’m curvy and I LIKE IT!” so anytime I hear someone say curvy, I think of Joey Laughing

Post # 9
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with you. Obviously there is a line – I wouldn’t call another person fat. But I am curvy when I’m thin or when I’m chunky – because that’s how my body is built. So it’s kind of misleading to use it to describe weight. Plus, because of the current usage, people think it’s okay to slam people for calling themselves curvy. I remember a thread on here a little while ago where people were bemoaning that girls who wear smaller sizes (2, 4, etc) call themselves curvy. All that accomplishes is making other people feel bad about themselves! 

One thing that has really helped me as of late is to recognize how I feel about my body in relation to what I’ve been doing lately. If I’m particularly bloated and gross because I’ve just spent the past three days locked inside due to finals stuffing my face but not exercising, I recognize that it’s salt bloat and a few days of eating badly. When I admit that, I realize that I can fix it – it’s in my power. 

On the flip side, I think fat can go badly. FSIL & FBIL are both overweight. FBIL especially. They always joke around and call each other fat. The problem is, when you’re already having a bad self-esteem day and your partner (the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally!) calls you fat in front of friends and family, that’s really making things worse. So I think a certain amount of it really needs to be looked at as you said it, recognizing what you feel like, whether that’s unhealthy or bloated or out of shape or fat. 

Post # 10
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I do think “curvy” and “fat” are totally different things. I am overweight and I don’t call myself curvy. I don’t call myself fat either though because I feel like if I said that it would be seen as trying to illicit pity or “aww no you’re not.” Thats just kind of how people treat it. When forced to discuss it though (and lets be frank, i avoid), I just say I’m overweight… because that is not subjective it is objective. I am 5’6″, I should weigh within a certain range, and I don’t. I am overweight.

Post # 11
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Perhaps curvy is too PC but I like the word.  It’s good for women to have curves but I agree there’s a line where you’re not quite curvy anymore so I guess sometimes it’s used inappropriately, but that’s just like every other word. 

I donno, I feel like with all the super thin models, curvy is a great balance word for girls to appreciate that they have hips and breasts and butts.  So I guess I agree with you that women can hide behind the word curvy but I still think curvy is a great womanly word that when I use it I really mean as a compliment and not as a hidden PC message to say overweight.

Post # 12
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think curvy is too PC. I am both fat AND curvy. No matter what size I wear…I will always be curvy…even my hands and feet are plump. Nothing I can do about that. However, there IS something I can do about the extra weight. My FI HATES when I call myself fat but it’s the truth. The scale and the way I am huffing and puffing on the elliptical don’t lie =)

 

Post # 13
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

LOL, this thread makes me laugh 🙂

As a size 20 gal, I totally call myself fat.

It is self-deprecating but you know what? It is what it is. It’s like calling someone old. I’m sorry, but at a certain age you’re old, not senior citizen. You know??

 

Post # 14
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I AM FAT!!!! its not ok but hey thats what happened to me because i let it get that way. i just say fat but i think if someone called me that i might take it hurtful hello its true no need to tell me lol

Post # 15
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not fat, but I am really interested in promoting positive body image and body acceptance (with or without healthy lifestyles, which are great but shouldn’t be a requirement of accepting yourself).

Personally, I like to see descriptors robbed of their ability to hurt people.  As far as specific definitions go, I see fat and curvy as totally different things.  Many fat people are curvy.  Some are not.  Some thinner people are curvy.  Hell, I wear a small size and would describe myself as “big-boned” or “solid” because those are accurate desciptors of my shape, apart from my size.  The problem is not the words, but the fact that they are so heaped with judgement and the idea that someone who is described a certain way should hate that about them. 

Also, I’d like to point out that nobody has an obligation to anyone besides themselves and their loved ones to behave in a certain way or be a certain size, and that exercise and healthy eating sometimes but far from always result in weight loss.  Which, I think makes it all the important to decouple size from worth.

Post # 16
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it is too PC! I know lots of larger ladies, and I know quite a few of them call themselves voluptuous or curvy when they’re really not. With that said, I’m not a skinny minnie myself. When I was 145 pounds, yes, I would have called myself curvy. But now that I much, much more, I don’t think curvy is really honest anymore, perhaps squishy would be better? 😛 But anyway, after I gained a lot of weight I just kept using curvy because I was still in denial about the fact that I was now overweight and I didn’t want to admit that I had become a fat girl. It was only recently that I admitted to myself and others that I was fat. My fiance and friends hate it when I call myself fat, but fat, overweight, whatever you want to call it, it’s the truth! I agree with a poster from above that the only way to take the sting and power from the word is to lose the fat. 

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