Came out to FI about bisexuality, and his response was… (long)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
825 posts
Busy bee

That’s awesome. That’s awesome that he didn’t think that just because you’re into girls too, that you’re going to go out and screw everything that moves. It’s awesome that he made you laugh when you were taking a big step in telling him how you feel. Just awesome 🙂

Post # 4
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mumeishi:  Aw I’m glad this story had a happy ending.  Sounds like your FI accepts you for who you are and that’s awesome.

I honestly agree with him to a point – I think that all women are attracted to other women at some level.  For me, this has only been one woman in particular – we’re very close and we both know we’re attracted to each other, but I’m engaged and she’s married so it’ll never go any further than that.

I think sexuality is more of a spectrum than an on/off switch, but that’s just my opinion.

Post # 5
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m so glad your DH took things so well!

Are you sure you are really bi-sexual though? I mean, could you picture yourself in a relationship with a woman? I think that is what truly makes one bi-sexual.

Having sexual attraction to women, to me at least, is something different. I find women very beautiful and attrractive, (maybe even arousing), but I could not picture myself in a relationship or doing anything sexually with one, therefor I am not bisexual.

These feelings can be hard to navigate!




Post # 6
9856 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@mumeishi:  that’s awesome.  It shows how well he really knows you that he knew something so personal about you before you realized it.  That’s really really sweet.  I’m so happy for you 🙂

Post # 7
2501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

hahaha I laughed at the rich catty old women comment 🙂

But like the PP,there is a spectrum of sexuality…its not black and white! Glad your FI is so awesome 🙂

Post # 8
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@urchin:  I actually agree with this.

Most of us, may be aroused by other women or fantasize about being with one, most of us find other women to be beautiful and their bodies to be beautiful and sexy. i certainly do, but when it comes to actualy BEING with one, I know I never could. 

Aside from that I’m glad that he was so accepting about this!

Post # 9
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I love your FI’s response! He sounds like a keeper…it’s awesome that you have someone to go to with your fears and he can help calm your nerves! Include him on your thoughts and curiosities, he’s your life partner 🙂

Post # 11
6785 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

No advice except that I hate the word “queer”

ETA: I guess my advice would be to take the Kinsey Scale test

Post # 13
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I genuinely don’t understand why you would go anonymous for such an innocent post!

In case it helps, why don’t you have a look at this:

It might help suggest some literature you might find interesting. PPs are right… sexuality is not black and white at all.

Post # 15
3989 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m most definitely coming from a place of love when I ask this.

But is there a chance you might think you could be gay?  Rather than bisexual?

I ask because my Mom married my Dad under the similar pretenses.  She told him that she was sexually attracted to women as well.  She spent her whole marriage cheating on my Dad with other women (obviously didn’t hide it too well).  She still hasn’t come out of the closet in fear of her mother, who is VERY homophobic.  And I have a feeling it’s why my Mom ever considered marrying a man to begin with. (My Mom has admitted to myself that she is gay and always has been)

I only ask that you take some time and really think about your feelings before you get married and make sure that you aren’t supressing anything in due to your parents opinions. 

My Mom definitely loved my Dad but was never “in love” with him.

*Note : I believe in bisexuality.  I just think that the OP has gone through a lot that may require a little more sorting out when it comes to something as serious as this.

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