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The event space where I'm getting married lacks a real backdrop to actually have the ceremony. It's basically a brick wall. So, in order to create a beautiful backdrop and pretty pictures, I thought of an arch. But every time I searched "beautiful arch," I got something like this:
wamp-wamp. I wanted something with more drama and not so traditional. I also wanted to continue the religious theme throughout our wedding, as my fiance is a pastor, and I love Jesus.
In Hebrew, chuppah literally means "covered," as in covered by God. It's also a symbol of the home the couple will make together, and the four open walls signify hospitality. I think it's a great symbol of starting your relationship under God and starting your home together.
Something like these? (maybe not as dramatic as the first one, DANG!)
On this last one, the bride chose to have her guests write blessings and have them put the notes on the branches before the ceremony. How beautiful is that? Being married under the support of your loved ones?
What's stopping me from doing this is that I'm worried everyone will be like "What? they aren't Jewish!" or I'll offend a friend by stepping on tradition. I also know that I could adapt the look of some of the branch/flower chuppahs to an arch, but I like the depth of the canopy. So bees, what do you think?
Just don't call it a chuppah. Call it a wedding canopy. problem solved.
First off, I'm christian, and I used to not think there was anything wrong with "borrowing" from the jewish faith, and using a chuppah in a non Jewish ceremony. However, after reading a post about this very topic on A Practical Wedding, I've come to realize that it can be seen as very very offensive to the Jewish community. Because it may offend some of your guests, I would look into creating a wedding arch, not a chuppah. I agree the example of one you showed was a little lackluster, but I've been to weddings with arches that were absolutely gorgeous. If you want a more varied opinion on the chuppah issue, I would post this in the Jewish boards. Good luck!!
LOL @ "wamp, wamp..." :D
I personally don't think there's anything overtly religious about having some sort of canopy or archway at the end of an alter! Yes, technically it's a Jewish traddition, but I'm pretty sure there have been multitudes of non-Jewish weddings that use a chuppah-like fixture, right?
Plus, as a Christian, I've noticed there are tons of Jewish traditions that Christians still follow. Do you know people that celebrate Passover, for example? I do! My *Christian* church used to host a Passover dinner! :)
I totally think you have nothing to worry about. And I majorly second the idea of the "blessings" arch -- so awesome.
We had a interfaith wedding in a neutral site and were married by an officiant. My hubby is Jewish and I'm Catholic. I don't see anything wrong with having a wedding canopy. True chuppah's can have many different types of coverings, but I would think that if you had a family quilt or tallit on top, then it may be more tied in with the Jewish faith. Do what makes you happy AND have beautiful photos at the same time! Here is our gorgeous chuppa/canopy:
For the record, I'm Jewish and I would not be offended at all. In fact, I would be flattered that you liked one of our traditions so much that you wanted to adopt it.
The most beautiful wedding magazine cover I've ever seen was MSW in winter 2008, with a gorgeous floral setting similar to the chuppah. Maybe you could do something similar, but not just like a chuppah?
If you are going to have Jewish guests in attendance, build something that is similar to the chuppahs that you love, but make it narrower, like an arbor, then it more closely resembles an arch which is typical of non-Jewish weddings. There are plenty of non-Jewish couples who get married in gardens with arbors and archways and gazebos and they make a beautiful focal point for the ceremony. Just don't call it a chuppah.
If you don't have any Jewish guests in attendance you can make it whatever shape you want and probably call it whatever you want. But "canopy" will probably raise fewer eyebrows than "chuppah" even if it translates to basically the same thing.
I'm so proud of you for looking up the meaning of the word! I'm all for Christian girls looking up Jewish traditions, to see if they are biblically historical and therefore potentially significant for Christians (as opposed to modern Jewish tradition which would have little meaning to a Christian.)
(Didn't Lorelai have a chuppah for a wedding in Gilmore Girls and have this exact conversation? I think the verdict was "not offensive.)
I really love the meaning of a chuppah, Im not jewish, but I cant imagine someone being upset or offended by it just because you aren't of that faith. Maybe im naive though!
I married a Jewish man and I am not Jewish, nobody was offended when we had a chuppah. Maybe don't point it out as that, but I think you are covered. The vast majority of Jews as liberal/reform (in this country) and would certainly realize that they don't own/didn't create the symbolism of the bride/groom's new household during a marriage ceremony. I think that the PP that said people would be offended needs to give Jews a little more credit. It's not as though you are stealing a sacred vow and flouncing it!
I did! I didn't think anything of it... it loved the look of it and loved what it conveyed. Our Christian minister didn't care either ;)
73939_10150309219210319_510965318_1568.jpg (79.4 KB, 176 downloads) 1 year old 
of course you can have it. jewish brides arent the only ones who can get married under a canopy of some sort actually most brides if they arent married in a church by the altar are married under some type of arch or canopy - try googling "wedding canopy" and you will see what i mean.
just dont call it a chuppah and you wont offend folks.
You could take the ideas of the chuppas you like and make them into an arch just as easily, I would think, if its something you are really worried about!
I don't think it would be offensive, but I am not Jewish. Maybe ask this on the Jewish board? Will you have any Jewish guests in attendance?
I kind of wanted to keep the word chuppah and maybe mention it in the ceremony, because of what it means, but by no means do I want to offend anyone with it, that's why I asked. And in the end if it's too touchy of a subject, we'll pull the word and bring the back closer to make more of an arch. I'm not obsessed, just liking the idea.
I don't think we'll have any Jewish guests, but I can't be 100% sure.
@simplifiedbride: can you send me the link to the practical weddings blog entry on this? I've been snooping around but can't find it.
I think I'll post this on the Jewish board and see what responses happen there. Thanks girls!!
Of course! It is done all the time. Besides, I am Christian and having a chuppah... but my FI is Jewish. Keep in mind though that a chuppah requires fabric. If you don't want fabric it is just an arch or a canopy or something similar so unless you want fabric over is you really have nothing to worry about because it isn't a chuppah.
I don't think that all Jewish people would find it offensive, but I'm saying that some could. I was referencing what I learned from Meg, blogger of apracticalwedding.com, who says this about Christian weddings using the chuppah.
"It’s the thing that makes the Jewish wedding stand apart in a culture of assimilation, and the thing that ties the Jewish wedding to all weddings that have gone before it. Though it’s often (and rightly) used by secular Jews in a more secular way, the symbol is fundamentally a religious one...The analogy I always give is that it’s a lot like communion. If non-Christian weddings started adding communion because they liked the symbolism, but did it in a secular way… that would be really offensive to a lot of people."
If you'd like to read more, see the comments thread of this post on Meg's blog. http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/06/how-a-wedding-can-maybe-shape-a-marriage/
Just wanted to give some background to why I have a differing opinion. Also, I think it's perfectly fine to have a canopy/arch, just not calling a chuppah.
"If non-Christian weddings started adding communion because they liked the symbolism, but did it in a secular way… that would be really offensive to a lot of people."
alright, that really made me think about this. thank you!
@eliwhit: I completely agree with you.
um, there is nothing secular about communion. it's supposed to be the body of christ right? the chuppah on the other hand CAN very easily have a lovely secular meaning of the new household.
I say go for it and don't worry too much about it.
@Meowkers:lol that's what I thought after I read that again.. they're both very important traditions, but I can't think of a reason for why a non-christian bride would ever, ever want to borrow communion.
but that could also lead to something else... taking communion under the chuppah? offensive?
You may offend some people if you call it a chuppah, since that is a specifically Jewish tradition. However, you can have exactly the same thing and just call it a "wedding canopy."
Your best bet is to ask any Jewish guests how they would feel. While some people, Jewish or not, may not be offended, it's not something I would personally feel comfortable doing, but that's just me. However, you can create a beautiful canopy that is not a chuppah and thus isn't offensive to any culture or religion.
As far as the example of communion in a secular way for a wedding ceremony, it's done all the time in the form of the wine ceremony that is so popular. It may not have the bread but it has the wine portion of communion and really is no different.
If non-Christian weddings started adding communion because they liked the symbolism, but did it in a secular way… that would be really offensive to a lot of people."
That's not really a valid comparison. To most Christians, the Eucharist is the physical embodiment of our Lord through transubstantiation. It's not merely a symbol - it is at the core of Christian belief. And even then, such a symbol wouldn't offend most Christians unless there was some blatant sacrilege involved, such as a mock concentration.
Of course, it's not whether a person should be offended, it's if they are offended...
Your best bet is to ask any Jewish guests how they would feel.
The problem is that an "... and guest" could be Jewish and offended. And while you could say "well I ran it past my Jewish friend and she was cool with it", that's not really something you necessarily want to deal with. And even if your Jewish friend might say that she's not offended, secretly she could be offended and just wanted to be polite (which is why we have etiquette guidelines that so many brides like to ignore).
The easy solution to me is to not make it a chuppah. All you really need to do is take the linen off the top and it's not a chuppah anymore, it's just four pillars with flowers on them. That would prevent you from referring to it as a chuppah during a ceremony, but I think that's a small price to pay to avoid stepping on toes.
I agree with some of the above sentiments. Since it is specifically a Jewish tradition, at a minimum it will confuse people as to why you're having one, given neither of you is Jewish. We had a chuppah at our interfaith wedding (my husband is Jewish). Don't call it a chuppah, and make it more of a wedding canopy, and I think you'll be okay. Good luck! :)
I'm Jewish, and I wouldn't be offended at all. But I'm pretty secular, and I defintiely don't speak for the whole tribe! ;)
I wouldn't be offended, but as a Jew, I don't see how a specifically non-Jewish wedding would have a chuppah. It's a Jewish ritual, so I don't exactly see it as appropriate. There are plenty of wedding alter/canopy/arches that aren't chuppahs. I'm always sort of weirded out when people borrow Jewish traditions when Jesus is involved. Maybe explain that many cultures use wedding canopies. But to me, if there's no Jew under it, it's not a chuppah.
@jindc: I agree--I think the religious ceremony (and/or the people taking part in it) is what makes it a chuppah instead of an arch or canopy. If you're not Jewish or having a Jewish ceremony it wouldn't be a chuppah.
Could you just call it a wedding canopy, and explain the symbolism that you liked?
I don't really know why you need to explain it at all. Just have it there and people will assume it's for decoration (which is the primary purpose according to the OP). Don't call it anything, and don't have the linen on the top.
It doesn't matter that you may think the Eucharist isn't something that non christians would appropriate... Meg was simply saying that if non Christians took a Christian tradition, it could be anything, and used it in a non religious way, it could be offensive. The chuppah is a Jewish tradition, and isn't ours (christians) for the taking, just because it's pretty. Of course, those of you who have interfaith weddings, were totally appropriate using a chuppah. If everyone started having a chuppah, because they're pretty/cool/interesting/whatever, it takes away from what it really is, a religious symbol, and part of the Jewish marriage ceremony. You can, of course, have a canopy, arch, or anything else. I would just be very wary of calling it a chuppah.
Just trying to give you a different perspective, and of course, you can do what you want. I really would advise you read the comments of Meg's blog that I posted earlier. Meg explains this much better than I can.
@simplifiedbride: I get your point, however she used an extreme to create a false relationship. While something fundamentally core to a religion (the Eucharist) would be something that could easily be seen as offensive, a symbol (father giving away the bride, a sign of piece, etc) would not be seen as offensive. The chuppah is a symbol on par with the latter and not with the former.
The OP did say she wanted it for the symbolism, not just the decoration: "I kind of wanted to keep the word chuppah and maybe mention it in the ceremony"
Christianity does derive a good chunk of its ritual from Jewish tradition. Communion comes from the blessing of bread and wine. So if you look at it as "this is the religion my religion comes from, and so it is part of my tradition" and explain it as such, that might help? That way you won't just be picking something randomly. I don't know if that would make it more/less offensive though.
Unrelated, but have you read Sex God? Rob Bell talks about chuppahs in there.
EDIT: I didn't pick the communion example to get into the debate about if its a good comparison or not. It was just the first example that popped in my head.
My husband is Jewish but we had a very secular wedding. We had a chuppah (and called it that) as a reference to his family.
I think the communion comparison is very, very off. Communion is the definitive act of several Christian faiths, a chuppah is a symbolic object, but it is not the centerpiece of Judaism.
@eliwhit: Some people will be offended by anything you do, no matter the reasoning. I can PROMISE you that it is not an offensive thing for the majority of Jews and that if you want to do it DO IT! Again, I am marrying a Jew, under a chuppah, with a unity candle, communion, and wearing a cross... There hasn't been one negative comment or anybody dispproving EVER. Seriously, if you want it, do it. I think it would be beautiful. And if you are afriad of the idea of calling it a chuppah, call it a canopy. Also I think it is important to point out that the chuppah itself is not actually a religious symbol. It is a cultural tradition that signifies the beginning of a new home that is open on all four sides to welcome people in in inconditional hospitality. It is the the Bible... Jesus was a Jew... if he got married he would have had one... There on nothing in the Bible that says Christians can't and shouldn't celebrate the same holidays and traditions Jesus did. Obvioulsy he never got married but again, had he, he would have had a chuppah.
@jindc: I disagree. While the chuppah is used in Jewish ceremonies it isn't a religious symbol but rather a cultural symbol. It isn't even required. The meaning behind the chuppah can be translated quite easily across any religion or belief system.
@simplifiedbride: I completely agree with you and thank you for linking the post to Meg's blog.
@eliwhit: Many of the ladies here on WB will encourage you to use the Chuppah as they too enjoy, are moved by or are inspired by the it. However, at least from what I've seen, there are not many religious (read: orthodox) Jewish members on here, and those are people whom you may potentially offend. Granted, you said you are not knowingly inviting anyone who is Jewish, so take this with a grain of salt.
Eh, while your marriage is still 'valid' if not under a chuppah, it's seen as a requirement for a wedding, and the meaning of the chuppah is inherently Jewish. Would I tell a non-Jew that incorporating aspects of Judaism (especially those that encompass the future of Judaism) that it was offensive? No. But it is not appropriate. You're not going to have a tallis for the fabric, you're not going to have a Jewish home, you're not remembering Mt Sanai. These are things that the chuppah represents to Jews, just like the importance of breaking the glass and signing the ketubah are very important cultural AND religious aspects of a Jewish wedding. A Jewish wedding is the second most important part of Jewish community (second to birth) so to me, it's not appropriate for someone of another religion to use aspects that are important to other people. That is why there are non-chuppah ideas for the same look. I don't think the true meaning of the chuppah can be translated across religions that do not believe in what the chuppah actually stands for.
I'm Jewish, had a chuppah at my wedding, and would not be offended at all. The symbolism is beautiful for any marriage, Jewish or Christian.
After all, Jesus was Jewish, and really orthodox Christians celebrate a lot of Jewish holidays like Passover, etc.
Half of our wedding guests were some sort of Christian, and half were Jewish (I converted before we got married.) The Christians who didn't grow up in South Florida (or some other area with a large Jewish population) didn't even know what a chuppah was, so we explained it in the program.
I think if you explain the symbolism (it symbolizes the couple's new home with the sides being open to show that friends and family are always welcome) in the program along with a mention that you loved the symbolism behind it, it shouldn't be a problem.
Since you're not knowingly inviting any Jewish people, I'd think you'll be fine. I say go for it!
Here are some pictures of ours if you're curious:
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