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Can a school not hire you because you are getting married?!?!?!?!?

posted 3 years ago in Career
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    andreaandchinelo    09/04/2009   dc

    So I was having a discussion with my FI about the wedding and we were talking about honeymoons because our original plan was to do a caribbean cruise but since Sept. is prime hurricane season we are in the middle of deciding something different.  We found a deal on our dream location but it's a 12 day excursion in September.  We both applied to be teachers at a local charter school and have a pretty good chance of getting the positions (he's taught before, I have a good friend who works there) and he said it probably wasn't a good idea to go because it's the beginning of school and if we get the jobs they probably wouldn't hire us because we would have to tell them we wouldn't be available until around the 17th of September.  Has anyone heard of not geting hired because you wouldn't be available at the beginning of school because you are getting married? I've always worked in the corporate sector so this is new to me.  I always thought that you talked about that when they offered you the job and it could be worked around, but FI thinks that you wouldn't get hired because you would essentially be gone the first two weeks of school.  Anybody have any insight on this?

     
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    rosychicklet    September 27, 2008   Boston, MA

    I think your FI is right.

    My mom is a school nurse and they are very stringent about giving time off on days before/after holidays and other things.  And she's the nurse- not the teacher in the classroom.

    When you think about it, teachers only work max 10months out of the year anyway, and you're asking for the first 1/2 month of the school year off!

    Those first 2 weeks are critical- do you really think they want to hire subs for both of you for the first 2 weeks?  Do you really want to start 2 weeks behind everyone else at a new job?

    With the corporate world it's 12 months a year, academics isn't the same way.  Also in corporate, your coworkers just pick up the slack.  With teaching they need to essentially hire somone to replace both of you.

    If you really want the job, I would advise against taking the first 2 weeks of the year off.

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    In my work experiences, there is a trial period after you're hired, where they just make sure the job is a 'fit' for all parties involved.  Six weeks usually.  Plus there is a period where there's no accrual of time off for vacations.

    Now I had an issue where I had a vacation planned up front and it was already paid for.  When I switched practices, I negotiated this into the hire agreement and all of us were happy.  I work in medicine and it's a job year round.  Also you are needed pretty much all of the time.  And I do certain testing, and that has to be scheduled and pre approved so time off has to be arranged. 

    Negotiate this.  Let them know you're all about giving them 100 percent, but this is your wedding and will be ready to jump professionally and responsibly into this new part of your life after you return from the honeymoon.  ALL things are usually negotiable when handled professionally and gently.  Does your trip have to be 12 days?  Can a week or maybe 10 days suffice?

    Again, negotiation and compromise always seemed to have worked for me. 

     
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    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    I also think your FI is probably right.  The beginning of school is so important and while they might sympathize with you getting married, they need some sort of stability for the kids and that's where their first priority lies. 

    I know when you start a new job you let them know of plans you have previously in the coporate sector they will usually give you the time off even if you haven't accrued vacation yet, but even still it's always a case by case business.  I do know that when hiring new people, though, most companies don't really like to approve time off during your first 6 months of employment.  

    Can you possibly take a minimoon right after your wedding, then a longer trip a couple months from now?  Something like that might be a little easier to negotiate in my opinion.

    Good luck and please let us know what ends up happening!

     
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    powderpuff    July 11, 2009   Chicago

    I definitely don't think it's a plus.

    I'm a teacher, and I can't imagine taking the first two weeks of school off. That's a critical time when you and your students are establishing a routine and setting expectations. Technically, I don't get any traditional vacation time at all- only sick/personal days. But that's because we get two weeks off for Christmas, a week at spring break, and two entire months in the summer. Not to mention random days here and there for other holidays.

    Teaching is definitely very different from a traditional corporate job. I would adjust your honeymoon plans if you really want this position.

    Good luck!

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    kurlynut    September 2009   Los Angeles, CA

    This is my dilemma as well. I too am a teaching getting married in September.  I will be moving 4 hours south and will need to get a new teaching job.  Working in the teaching sector for the past 5 years at a wonderful district, policies are really strict with taking "personal time" off for any sort of vacations.  They majorly frown upon that. 

    With that being said, being a new hire is completely different.  As your FI had mentioned the first 2 weeks are CRUCIAL for the students and building rapport with the parents.  Many back to school nights happen within the first 2 weeks as well.  My FI and I have decided to postpone our honeymoon until we know for sure what's going on.  (That's if I can find a teaching job in this economy.  Best of luck with whatever you guys decide on.

     
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    lilythespitfire    8/13/09   NYC

    I'm a  teacher and I would say no, its not a good idea. Because there are so many  breaks built into the year they would definitely reconsider hiring you. Also, the first two weeks of school are integral to setting up routines and settling the kids in. It's difficult to come in 2 weeks later and suddenly switch up teachers.

    I would rather plan for a honeymoon that would end in August or plan for one during the Christmas break instead. 

     
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    JennyBryde    September 18, 2010   Moline, IL

    I think your FI is spon on about this as well.  As a teacher, if I put in a request for the first two weeks of school off, it would be denied without a second thought, and if I were a new hire, they would have told me absolutely not.  There is so much orientation and training that you would need (sometimes by state law) that cannot be rearranged or taken individually.  Could you post pone the honeymoon for a little until you're established in the district? 

     
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    JessinNY      

    As a teacher, taking any 12 day period off is an absolute no no. Also attaching a day to a vacation such as christmas week or spring break is looked at badly, and most administrators would not approve those days off. The great thing is that as a teacher, you do get two months off in the summer, christmas break, February and Easter vacations, in addition to all the federal holidays. Unfortunately, those are the most expensive times to travel. If you can get a teaching job in this economy, i would take it, and save up the money to take your honeymoon Christmas time. It may not be what you had hoped for, but this is why many teachers plan on getting married in the summer months.  Good luck.

     
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    Jenny Bee    May 16, 2009   NYC/wedding in Lexington, KY

    They can't not hire just because you are getting married, but they can not give you the job if you are not available when for the required dates of employment.

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    meganmp1    January 24, 2009   Seattle, WA

    Jenny Bee nailed it- they can't not hire you because of marriage, but they can not hire you because you are not available for their required dates of employment

     
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    andreaandchinelo    09/04/2009   dc

    Thank you for the insight bees!!!! WOW I had NO idea the school system was so stringent about stuff like that so your advice is greatly appreciated!!!! I'm definitely flexible as far as when we take our honeymoon as we haven't officially booked anything yet, but I didn't know it was so heavily frowned upon.  If I do indeed get the job, we will most likely postpone the honeymoon until the Christmas break as I would rather take the job over a September honeymoon anyday! Again thanks!

     
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    Tanya123      

    I think that's the way to go, Angela.  And it sounds like they aren't really looking t onot hire you because of the fact you're getting married anyway.  And in this market, I'm sure there are plenty of people looking for jobs that are qualified, and willing to start when needed.

    And as an aside, for anyone who has dealt with a "trial period", that is actually bull.  HR people don't tell you that, becuae most people don't know better.  But really at the end of the trial period, if they don't "hire you", (ie. fire you) it better be for a very legal reason.  Once you start a position, employment laws, discrimination, unlawful termination etc, all apply.  And starting a positoin on a "trial basis" is still starting a position.

     
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    liztwinz    10/17/2009   SW Georgia

    I have been a teacher for 15 years. We get 12 1/4 days of sick leave a year. Of these, three may be used for personal reasons, but not to exceed your total of 12 1/4 days. Keep in mind that we are told that requests for personal leave will not be granted the day before or after a holiday. Also keep in mind, at least where I work, that if you go over your personal leave goes over the three days you are allowed for personal leave-that it is UNPAID leave. You also want to guard your leave carefully bc babies come along, husbands get sick, you may have to have a medical procedure or surgery of some type. Once you go through your sick leave-meaning for example, maternity leave, it is also unpaid leave. If you have a baby, you will still get your maternity leave, it will be granted, but if you don't have the sick leave to cover it-most people take 6, 8 or 12 weeks-your leave will be unpaid. If you haven't thought about this-I HIGHLY encourage you to take both short term and long term disability insurance. I've used my short term several times-when I had my tonsils out, when I had hernia surgery and when I got put on bedrest during my pregnancy and then due to complications during delivery, I was out of school a long time.

     
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    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    Being in HR I would have to say that I'm totally I'm with Jenny Bee --- perfect way to say it.  They can't say they won't hire you because you are getting married - that is not legal. But they can say they won't hire you because you aren't available the first two weeks of the school year. Also, I would strongly suggest not attempting to hide this from your potential future employer because that wouldnt be a good idea.

     
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    spunkyteach       Missouri

    I am a teacher too and I dont think it is a good idea, no idea what time of year, but esp. at the beginning or the end of the year or in your first couple of years.  Like it or not, you are trying to prove you're great for the job and those kids NEED you there.  I do however, beg to differ with the pp who said we only work 10 months a year. I know that if you're not a teacher it seems that way, but let me assure you this is NOT the case, out of last summer I had 5 days off, and not in a row.  So if you're a new teacher and are expecting this, don't get too excited about it as esp. as a new hire you will have  a TON of professional development esp. in your first two years, and even after that as you grow in your career you will have classes to take.  And for those who aren't teachers, it's not all lazy days by the pool, either.  Not being snarky, just sharing after my 7 years of teaching.  Can a school not hire you because you are getting married?!?!?!?!? :  wedding emotional relationships jobs wedding etiquette beehive reception wellness lounge honeymoons opinions advice teaching Icon Biggrin

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    fanatic888    10/16/10   Cincinnati

    Hmm I think it might make it tougher to get that job needing 2 weeks off right off the bat like that.  In my job you have to accrue your days off so I couldn't take that much off without getting approval from on high to go into the negative.  I really need to conserve my days off so that I can do a long honeymoon next year but the holidays make it difficult not to use leave.

     
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    Missbliss      

    I definitely think that you are going to have to rethink the honeymoon plans....  I know that a friend of mine was hired to teach begin teaching on the Monday after her Saturday wedding with about two weeks notice of being hired.  They knew she was getting married and moving and didn't care they still wanted her to begin that day...  I think eventually she let them know that just the distance factor was a problem, and they allowed her to begin on Tuesday.  Her groom was starting grad school later in that month, and so she needed a job in the region.  They couldn't even get an apartment that fast, so she had to move in with a friend... and her groom stayed home for two weeks... waiting to be able to move everything they needed...

     
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    iceprincess717    August 15, 2011   Texas

    Have to say it, I agree with your FI because a lot of school are on a set schedule, and if they can't accommodate for a later date of hire, then it is probably in their rules. I would talk to them and see what your options are.

     
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    Angela83    June 2011  

    I think your FI is right.  You get 2.5 months off!  It is totally reasonable for the school to expect you to take your vacations during that time.

     
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    farrahfay    May 12, 2011  

    Wait until Christmas to do your honeymoon or spring break... My sister is a teacher and it will affect their decision on hiring.

     
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    littleG    September 23, 2011   Australia

    im a teacher and im getting married in the september holidays then having our 4week honeymoon during the christmas holidays hehe

     
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    ivorywedding    June 30, 2012  

    @andreaandchinelo: Usually employers like to hire married persons. It shows that they are commited and are going to be long term.  However, being that you are a teacher and get summers off, why would you not schedule the wedding during that time instead of right when the school year begins?

     

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