No newer images
more by CelebrinFire
No older images
No beach vacation.....
more in Traditions
Tradition Smashing..... Invitations
i need help!!!!
more in Boards
Poolside Reception Ideas

can a secondary virgin wear a veil over her face

posted 4 months ago in Traditions
  • 1 Members Subscribed To Topic
  • poll: can a secondary virgin wear a veil over her face
    yes : (58 votes)
    34 %
    no : (5 votes)
    3 %
    it doesn't matter : (110 votes)
    64 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    CelebrinFire    September 25, 2015   Victoria, Texas

    traditions and every thing i was raised with says you have to be a virgin to wear a veil over your face but what if you messed around while you were engageed but not yet married and lost your virginity but decided to become a secondary virgin
    could you still wear a veil over your face

     
    2.
    Member
    1,974 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redheadem    September 30, 2012   NYC/MD

    Sure, why not? I really don't think your private life is anyone's business, and I can't imagine anyone would question your wedding day fashion choices.

     
    3.
    Member
    793 posts
    Busy bee
    Rush1986      

    thats a thing of the past in my opinion.  I think i might wear the veil over my face because i would love that moment where its lifted off by my father. And trust me...i am NO virgin. 

    Its your choice and everyone else can stuff it. 

     
    4.
    Member
    5,831 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    Well not sure what belief system your in but your sins have been wiped clean and you have been made a new, even if you " rededicated" yourself. Wear your veil with pride!

     
    5.
    Member
    2,101 posts
    Buzzing bee
    CanadianMermaid    December 2012  

    Rock that veil

     
    6.
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    danicalifornia    July 15, 2012   Boston, MA

    It's nobody's business if you're a virgin or not - wear it!

     
    7.
    Member
    8,947 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    These days the veil is more of a fashion accessory than a statement of purity or virginity. Anyone can wear a veil

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    Calla85    July 16, 2012  

    To be honest, this post really surprised me. I don't think many people continue to think of the veil as representing virginity these days - all of my friends have worn a veil over their face when they were married (4 of them now) and NONE of them were virgins. I am also planning to wear a blusher and I am not a virgin either. I would be surprised if many of your guests associated your veil with your virginity so if you want to wear a blusher veil, then you should definitely do it!

     
    9.
    Member
    1,425 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsCarnival    May 19, 2012   Minnesota

    FI and I have been together for 6.5 years and living together for 2.5...that ship has LONG since sailed and I will be wearing a veil over my face:) The state of my vagina is nobody else's business.

     
    10.
    Member
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    WestCoast    May 2013   Canada

    You totally can. :)

     
    11.
    Member
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    Blueknightess    July 20, 2013   Ontario, Canada

    It's your wedding; you can do what you want!

     
    12.
    Member Icon
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    mrssrm    October 2011  

    I think that'd be something to talk to your religious leader about, or, if you haven't disclosed this information, see if you can find guidance in a book/website specific to your denomination. I find it a bit odd to ask a bunch of random strangers with, most likely, very different religious beliefs from your own (or no religious beliefs at all) what is/isn't appropriate with regard to a religious question like this.

     
    13.
    Member
    3,001 posts
    Sugar bee
    vmec    May 12, 2012   Vancouver

    All my friends have been nailed several hundred times over, and they all wore veils over their faces.

     
    14.
    Member
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    lindsey_k_16    June 9, 2012   Muskegon, MI

    @MissCarnival LOVE this!

    @mrssrm Weddingbee is somewhere you can ask whatever you want and get all different opinions. If you don't have anything to say please don't leave negative comments. OP thought she could get all different opinions, she wasn't asking if this was the place to get them.

    OP- I say wear it!!!!

     
    15.
    Member
    1,565 posts
    Bumble bee
    MissDareDevil    April 2, 2011  

    i am pretty sure that is a thing of the past.

    my husband and i slept together before our wedding day, and i still wore a veil over my face. it made me feel very bridal, and it made my husband cry.

     

    can a secondary virgin wear a veil over her face :  wedding veil virgin seccondary virgin  MG 1810

     
    16.
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    CelebrinFire    September 25, 2015   Victoria, Texas

    @Calla85:

    what is a blusher?

     
    17.
    Member
    1,425 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsCarnival    May 19, 2012   Minnesota

    @mrssrm: The whole purpose of WeddingBee is to get opinions from a bunch of random strangers that are all in the same boat as you. If she wanted religious advice, she can post to the boards dedicated to her particular faith.

    The last thing we should do here is discourage anyone from posting a harmless question...that's what we're here for :)

     
    18.
    Member
    1,425 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsCarnival    May 19, 2012   Minnesota

    @CelebrinFire: The blusher is the part of the veil that covers your face in the front. You can wear your veil at the back of your head without covering your face, or you can have that second layer pulled forward in the traditional fashion that covers you up Smile

     
    19.
    Member Icon
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    mrssrm    October 2011  

    @lindsey_k_16: Sorry, I wasn't trying to be negative, I was trying to be helpful. Yes, I definitely appreciate that Weddingbee is a place for getting a variety of different opinions, and that's a great virtue of the site. But clearly the OP is coming from a very different religious upbringing than many of the people who are offering her advice. She also clearly considers those traditions and teachings meaningful and is trying to determine a solution to a religious problem that's troubling her. I'm just not sure that seeking religious answers from people who don't necessarily share her beliefs/religious commitments/traditions is a wise move. For most of us, religious or not, a veil bears no relation to our virginity/lack thereof. For the OP, there apparently is a meaningful relationship between the two. So I don't really see how our answers can help her make an informed decision that she'll be comfortable with, any more than, if I were a devout Catholic, taking a random survey on a point of doctrine would reassure me that my beliefs were orthodox. I mean, we can all tell the OP that we would wear a veil regardless of whether we were virgins, 'secondary virgins', or non-virgins, but presumably she already knows that lots of brides aren't virgins and wear veils. I don't think that reiterating that point really answers her question in a meaningful way, because it doesn't take her basic premise (that veil-wearing is related to virginity) seriously.

     
    20.
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    Future MrsB    May 27, 2012   Live outside Boston, Wedding in Saratoga NY

    What is a secondary virgin?  You're either a virgin or you're not.

     
    21.
    Member
    1,269 posts
    Bumble bee
    jocember    August 17, 2013   Syracuse, NY

    Girl, rock that veil if you want to! Your state of virginity is nobody's business but your own, and there is NO reason that should have anything to do with your wedding clothes. Wear whatever color you want, whatever kind of dress you want, whatever accessories you want, etc. It's your wedding, so do what makes YOU happy :)

     
    22.
    Member
    2,041 posts
    Buzzing bee
    SpecialSundae    April 21, 2012   Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland, UK

    @Future MrsB: I'd have to agree.

    You can wear a veil over your face whether you have never touched a man or if you could give Samantha (SATC) a run for her money sexually.

     
    22.
    Member
    2,041 posts
    Buzzing bee
    SpecialSundae    April 21, 2012   Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland, UK
     
    23.
    Member Icon
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    mrssrm    October 2011  

    Sorry if I offended anyone, and OP, I'm especially sorry if I came across as negative. It really sounds to me like you're seeking some kind of religious truth and I wouldn't want you to discover after the fact that, according to your belief system/religious denomination you'd done something 'wrong' unless you were personally comfortable with that.

     
    24.
    Member
    1,425 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsCarnival    May 19, 2012   Minnesota

    @SpecialSundae: *snerk* Your comment made me giggle.

    /sidebar: Thanks for the recommendation on the Scotch/Whiskey thing. I couldn't get the sampler pack in time for Xmas, but I showed it to FI and he's going to join up next month :)

     
    25.
    Member
    1,579 posts
    Bumble bee
    LetsGoPens    October 13, 2012   Pittsburgh

    I plan on wearing a veil over my face and no I am not a virgin. Do I care if anyone has anything to say about it, no. I can't wait for that special moment when my Dad lifts my veil off of my face.

     
    26.
    Member
    5,831 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Eva Peron    November 2011  

    @mrssrm:  I agree, I feel as though her traditions, which may be very near and dear to her lifes practices, are tied in with a certian religous belief. While we may say, that ideal is dead or it doesn't matter- could very much matter in her situation.

    Hopefully the OP can give us some insight, so we can better give advice or move it to a particular board!

     
    27.
    Member
    12,421 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    julies1949      

    @CelebrinFire:  If this is a concern about violating some religious teaching, I would discuss it with a church leader. I can't begin to guess your comfort level with going against the teachings of your faith.

    I can assure you however, that there are many, many, (if not most) brides who wear a veil who are not virgins- actual or secondary.

     
    28.
    Member Icon
    Member
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    mrssrm    October 2011  

    @Eva Peron: Thanks for the support, it's nice to know I'm not totally alone in seeing things this way!

     
    29.
    Member
    1,974 posts
    Buzzing bee
    redheadem    September 30, 2012   NYC/MD

    I think we can all agree it depends what angle she's coming from. If she wants our personal opinions, this is the correct forum. If she wants religious guidance, this is the wrong forum. I can only assume she wants to hear what other brides' opinions are.

     
    30.
    Member
    8,906 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    Mrs.KMM    July 17, 2010   Atlanta, GA (wedding in Indianapolis, IN)

    I've never heard of the wearing of a veil being associated with one's sexual purity or status as a virgin.  I'm sure your guest won't associate it as such.

     
    31.
    Member
    4,584 posts
    Honey bee
    Aure    October 6, 2012   Las Vegas

    Why not? If you want to wear one go for it.

     
    32.
    Member
    1,223 posts
    Bumble bee
    missrobots    April 30, 2011  

    Eff that noise! You can wear a veil however the hell you damn well want!

     
    33.
    Member
    1,683 posts
    Bumble bee
    MrsMeNow    September 18, 2010   Wisconsin

    @vmec:

    @missrobots: Your responses killed me....

     
    34.
    Member
    208 posts
    Helper bee
    Merelton    April 21, 2012   Chicago

    The only tradition I've ever heard of that ties virginity to your wedding day is the color of the dress.  White = virgin.  But even that seems to be an 'old school rule'.  Do what makes you comfortable.  But if everyone at your church (or present on your wedding day) will be judging you based on if you have one over your face or not, I'd wear it.  The last thing I'd want people thinking about as I walked down the aisle is, "is she a virgin?!" 

     
    35.
    Member
    991 posts
    Busy bee
    kelmac    September 26, 2009   Ontario, Canada

    @mrssrm: I agree with you

    On a side note...aren't you only supposed to wear white if you are a virgin as well? Just sayin. There wouldn't be a lot of white dresses rockin the Bee boards if people still believed that. I know mine wouldn't have been white. And how do you become a secondary virgin? I could use a little purity.

    Personally, I think you should wear whatever you want to.

     
    36.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,994 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mandypop    September 15, 2012   BAHHHston

    Even among my most religious friends, the whole veil covering face thing is not relevant when it comes to sexual history, so I wouldn't worry about that at all.  It's a fashion accessory. 

    I also don't quite get what "secondary virgin" means, but, to each their own! 

     
    37.
    Member
    5,733 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    @vmec: Bahaha!  Ditto.

    What the heck is a "secondary virgin"?  You're either a virgin or you're not.

    But yes, go ahead and wear a veil by all means!

     
    38.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    1,546 posts
    Bumble bee
    eagle    August 2012   Calgary, AB, Canada

    @Juliepants: secondary virgin is like reclaimed virginity.  Like saying, after you've had sex, "I won't have sex again until I'm married". 

    I'm in a lesbian relationship and I've slept with more people than I care to admit.... But I am still probably going to wear a blusher over my face too. 

    You don't have to follow the "wedding rules" if you don't want to.  No one will say anything to your face, promise. 

     
    39.
    Member
    5,733 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Juliepants    June 2, 2012   Ontario

    @eagle: Ah.  The name is a little misleading then.

     

    Reply »

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Brielle 44
    vorpalette 29
    caseyleigh10 26
    les105 24
    ellisrobertson 24
    mypinkshoes 23
    fishbone 23
    ndreighton 22
    lionskitty 22
    SouthernGirl 21

    Traditions

    User Posts Today
    thursdayschild 1
    mypinkshoes 1
    nellie_pie 1
    DrMrsCol 1
    More