Where to find affordable brooches?
more by linzella
Silver vs. Gold...Must the Jewelry Color Match the Wedding Colors?
To keep or not to keep the dress
more in Beehive
chair rental prices
ring orb (small)
more in Boards
Does my family not want us to get married?

Can anyone relate to this?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
  •  
    1.
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    linzella    June 20, 2009   Austin, Texas

    OK, this may just happen to me, but do wedding magazines ever make anybody else a little sad/anxious?  It’s just, they always do spreads on amazing, extravagant weddings and often suggest ideas that my fiance and I cannot afford.  (Or rather…we can’t afford them w/o going into major debt!)  Before, I loved wedding magazines, but now that I am deep in the planning process, I look at the beautiful pictures and catch myself fixating on how much everything must have cost and it makes me feel inferior.  (Isn’t that pathetic?!?)

    Does this happen to anybody else???  Any advice on how to get over it?

     
    2.
    Member
    2,168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    cannotwait    February 1, 2009   TX

    I can get past the money, but they always make me have body image issues!  :(  That's why I had to stop (pre-engagement) subscribing to cosmo, etc.

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    saltyveruca    4-26-08   Houston, TX

    I am so with you there. I actually avoided wedding magazines, blogs, websites (yes, Wedding Bee) because they stressed me out. I'm a wedding photographer, so I read this stuff religiously, but before my wedding? You could not have paid me to look at them.

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    indecisivebride    09/27/08   Seattle, WA

    I felt like that too, which is why I much prefer blogs and real weddings..and why I loved weddingbee so much when I was planning our wedding.  I had to remind myself that a lot of stuff in magazines are very posed and unrealistic for the average person (kind of like how couture fashion is not for the everyday person).  Another thing I realized is that a great photographer/editing makes a HUGE difference...I've been to a few drab weddings and then when I see the pictures somehow everything looks so amazing and artistic...the lighting effect in the pictures makes things look more romantic, the flowers are brighter, etc.  I have honestly looked at some pictures from a wedding and thought, that cannot be the same wedding that I attended.  Don't be discouraged!

     
    5.
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    V      

    I see them more as inspiration. I know that most weddings in magazines are around $100,000+ which I think is RIDICULOUS even if you have the money!

    I see them as cool 'events' too frivolous to be dream weddings...Sometimes I get disgusted by how 'material' everything is and how some people have a need to 'show off'. I mean the pictures are beautiful but in the end none of that matters if the couple divorces in a year.

    In the latest issue of Martha...a reader asks where she could buy the vintage stamps..story short...the stamps would cost more than her invitations! and as we all know...Martha uses them like water...meaning EVERYWHERE!

    I still buy magazines...but I do prefer real wedding accounts more than anything else.

    I must admit tho...for dress shopping...my first day was depressing...unless it's the usual 'fat bride' dress (wrap look on the side, triangle sleevelets)...if you're a size 16 and up...shopping for a dress it's a nightmare to your self-esteem! You can't try anything you see in magazines! Can anyone relate to this? :  wedding advice Icon Mad 

     

     
    6.
    Member
    1,272 posts
    Bumble bee
    caliocteach    8/9/2008   California

    In the begining I used them for ideas and to create collages, but then I threw them all out and stuck to blogs.  I found that by talking to real people in my $$ range it was much easier for me to plan without freaking out.  If you go to my blog  www.calioc.blogspot.com I have a list of sites that I frequented. 

    Now that my wedding is over I can honestly say that I spent way less than most in Cali and got way more -- everything turned out amazing!  I think that the purpose of the bridal magazines is to sell the idea of what the wedding industry (those advertising in the mags) thinks your wedding should be.

     
    7.
    Member
    407 posts
    Helper bee
    linzella    June 20, 2009   Austin, Texas

    Thanks for the suggestions!  I will definitely have to focus more on "real weddings" than on the huge productions that are put in the magazines.  That is one reason I like weddingbee.  Are there any other online resources people enjoy that focus on real weddings?

    Thanks!

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    40 posts
    Newbee
    Bridemarie      

    I agree - blogs are definitely much better and much more useful - and free! :)  I have found so many great and useful ideas online..

    Attachments

    1. Can anyone relate to this? :  wedding advice Img 3n83o73l45Pd5P95P5a1d87b8706238b1131a..jpg (5 KB, 39 downloads) 2 years old
    2. Can anyone relate to this? :  wedding advice Img 3m63o43l05P75P95Pda1dc615c0e8dd181fd2..jpg (6 KB, 40 downloads) 2 years old
     
    9.
    Member Icon
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    caithe    May 17 2009   Winnipeg

    I'd get anxious looking at the magasins, too.  I also found that they were distracting.  I'd think I knew what color i'd want my bridesmaid dresses to be and then I'd pick up a magasin and see 5 different colors that i'd also like.  Too many options=no decisions made.

     
    10.
    Member Icon
    Member
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    DrB    November 1, 2008   Maryland

    Have you noticed that all the models in Bridal magazines always have really sour expressions on their faces?  They should be smiling and looking happy because they are supposed to be brides! Instead of the starved, vacant expressions they use because they are models.

     
    11.
    Member
    2,168 posts
    Buzzing bee
    cannotwait    February 1, 2009   TX

    Dr. B  they are unhappy because they need to eat....sorry, couldn't resist!

    Even when I am in great shape & watch what I eat, my arms will never be that bony!  I'm lucky that my man wants a woman with a womanly figure, not how I looked after my jr hi growth spurt (5'8, size 6; now 5'10, size 12 FWIW)

    Even though I actually get upset now when things don't fit, I remember hating being bony back in the day, so I just channel that when I get upset about my "curves".  Hang in there ladies!

     (BTW, does anyone else thing it would be interesting to see budget vs divorce rate...based on the above?  I think being so WEDDING focused and not MARRIAGE focused is a big problem today.  People get so excited about being "the bride" they don't always question if they really should marry that person...just my 2 cents, even though I love being the bride!  hehe)

     
    12.
    Member Icon
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    joyce    June 6, 2009  

    Yes and no. I do read wedding magazines from time to time, but I don't get bogged down by those $100k weddings. I just look at it all and think, "now how can i get the same look/feel for a fraction of what they paid?" In other words, it's more of an inspiration for me and whether or not I can actually pull it off is a whole other thing.

    Oh and totally agree on the real weddings ...those are the best!

     
    13.
    Member Icon
    Member
    742 posts
    Busy bee
    TallBride    January 24 2009   Westlake Village, Ca

    Thats exactly why I <3 Wedding Bee

     

     
    14.
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    AC    October 1, 2008   NYC

    Linzella, I can totally relate! Here are a couple sites you might find helpful:

    http://www.apracticalwedding.com/

    On that site, I especially loved this post:

    http://www.apracticalwedding.com/2008/05/its-not-all-in-details.html

    Also: 

    kvetch.indiebride.com

    Also, to keep myself sane, I thought about the weddings I've been to. I have pretty much loved every single one of them, from the chill one on the bride's cousin's property to the half-million-dollar one where $100k was spent on flowers alone. Seated dinner, buffet, full bar, limited bar, afternoon, nighttime, fancy flowers, simple flowers...it really hasn't made a difference in my perception of the couple or my experience at the wedding. The ones I love the most are a reflection of the two people and focus on their love and happiness. It's contagious! If y'all are comfortable and having a great time, everyone else will, too, and screw the wedding mags. 

    I also agree with what someone else said about wedding photography being beautifully deceptive. I was AT my wedding and it was a wonderful, magical time, amazing time, but my photographer made it look like something just out of a fairy tale. So even the photos of my own wedding are rather unrealistic!

     
    15.
    Member
    2,461 posts
    Buzzing bee
    maureen9004    August 2008  

    I know what you mean.  We had a ten thousand dollar budget, but I like the weddings in the magazines.  I took what I saw in them and tried to do it in a  more cost effective "me"  way.  I think the inspiration I got from those magazines really made my wedding stand out amongst the many weddings held in my community by my former high school classmates.  I have nothing against brides who love twinkle lights and tulle- but I don't know how many local wedding pictures I've seen posted to sites like myspace and facebook that are compromised of these two elements.  It's a very tradiational, lovely approach- but I like the modern spin magazines give to weddings. Use them for inspiration, and make them yours.

     

       We stayed in our budget of ten thousand, and I think our day was fairly special :)

     

    Can anyone relate to this? :  wedding advice 68182015713 0 ALB

     

       

    Attachments

    1. Can anyone relate to this? :  wedding advice Img gown1.jpg (60.1 KB, 81 downloads) 2 years old
     
    16.
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    anniebear    August 15, 2010   Toronto, ON

     

    Oh, Linzella, I know exactly what you mean.

    It's not really magazines for me, but I recently saw my high school classmate's wedding photos on Facebook and I felt so inferior at the fact that she rented a Rolls Royce for her vehicle, had 500+ guests at the Royal Ontario Museum and had an amazing expensive looking wedding gown.

    I started to think of all my money-saving ideas for my own wedding and felt pathetically poor compared to this girl. What made me feel better was a night spent hanging out with my wonderful husband-to-be. It all reminded me that no matter what the price tag on my wedding is, I am still so very lucky and blessed to be marrying the man of my dreams.

    No amount of money, luxury or glamour will ever top that for me. The point of weddings is to have a celebration for your official union with your loved one. Once your day comes, you will be so excited and overjoyed that it won't matter whether you arrived at the reception venue in a lamborghini or a plain limo, it won't matter whether your dress was purchased off the rack or from Kleinfeld's... because when that day comes all you'll care about (hopefully :) ) is finally becoming the wife of your amazing significant other.

    All that stuff in the magazines and online catalogues, they're all just pictures. Photographers have a knack for making moments look good. When your own photos come out you are going to be so pleased with all the memories. And if you're like me who absolutely value and love photos, you've probably invested in a great photographer, who can make any average priced wedding look like a million bucks :)

     

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.

    Tags:





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Brielle 44
    vorpalette 29
    caseyleigh10 26
    les105 24
    ellisrobertson 24
    mypinkshoes 23
    fishbone 23
    ndreighton 22
    lionskitty 22
    SouthernGirl 21

    Beehive

    User Posts Today
    Katherine27 11
    ellisrobertson 9
    KimKimmieKim 7
    Brielle 6
    vorpalette 6
    MissCT 5
    julies1949 4
    j_jaye 4
    redheadem 4
    mypinkshoes 4
    More