(Closed) Can I ask a friend if she's in a relationship for invitation purposes?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1038 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

 Just tell her that you would like to know if she knows who her plus one will be so that you can include their name on the invite.

Post # 4
Member
3669 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would just ask her if she’s seeing someone special so that you can personalize the invitation rather than address her SO as “and guest.” You could also say you need to know what name to put on the reception placecards.

 

Post # 6
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m very direct so I’d just ask her, “So, I’m really excited you said you would be here, we’re doing initations now, is there anyone special I should put on the invitation as your guest?”. and if she says “no” I’d still send her the +1 since she won’t know anyone like you said.  You aren’t psychic so you can’t know if there is an SO if it’s not public info and she hasn’t told you. Like on Facebook… cause it’s not real if it isn’t on FB… sorry I’m still ticked over when FI and I went “official boyfriend/girlfriend” on FB and it said “You are now in a relationship with…”. like it wasn’t real before that :).

If you aren’t comfortable asking just send her a +1 and she can bring a SO or friend to keep her company.

Post # 7
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was recently in the same boat with one of my bridesmaids actually.  I just asked if she had a +1.  I knew she was dating a guy awhile ago but hadn’t heard much of him lately.  She said no +1 and then we talked about it.  She was nervous others would think she was weird not having a +1 but to her suprise we are inviting a lot of singles with no +1.  She was relieved 🙂

Post # 9
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I was lenient with my plus one rule, as most of my side would have to travel to Europe for a week for the wedding. If they weren’t already a couple, I told them they could bring someone to tag along. One friend brought her BF, and the other brought a friend who was traveling around with her. I would have felt weird telling my friend she could only bring a boyfriend (she did have a boyfriend at the time, but he couldn’t make the trip out), I think it’s better just to give her the +1 and see what she does with it. 

Post # 10
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s really sweet that you want to find this out. Just fb her and ask her if she’s currently in a relationship with someone as if so, you’d like to extend the invitation to them.

Post # 11
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If I were invited to an overseas wedding where I wouldn’t know anyone, I would feel really awkward about traveling all by myself and would really appreciate being able to bring someone along, significant other or close friend or what. If your main intent is that your friend be comfortable, I say give her the +1 and let her bring someone she’d like to travel with, whether or not that person is a serious boyfriend or whatever.

To eliminate suprises, just ask her beforehand whether she thinks she’ll bring someone and who that might be so you can put their name on the invite too.

Post # 12
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@gramgeek:  I extended a +1 to my single friends.  Some came solo.  Some brought a date.  Most brought friends of the same sex… and one brought their MOTHER (this particular guest was 45!!).  d’oh!  …just a warning that if you do a blind +1, she may not necessarily bring a romantic date…. but will likely be more comfortable, since she won’t know anyone.

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@oracle:  i don’t know if its just me but the thought would never cross my mind to bring someone who wasn’t a “date” to a wedding….now I’m curious to know how often that happens!

to the OP, I’ve had to ask a few people about guests and it generally sounded something like “I’m not sure if you’re seeing anyone, but you’re welcome to bring a date!” and you could say something like “Just wanted to let you know, as I thought writing ‘and guest’ sounded too impersonal”…hopefully that would prompt her to give you a name 🙂

Post # 14
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m inviting most of my host families (don’t know if any of them are actually going to make it!) from my year abroad in the Czech Republic. If any of them do, I’m being super lenient with their plus one. I don’t care if it is a significant other, friend or sibling- if they are going to come to Ohio for my wedding- they can bring whoever they want!

Post # 15
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Rickie86:  after the whole “I’m bringing my mom” thing – nothing would surprise me!!!

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