can I buy a gift if I wasn't invited?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t see any harm in it. I think it would be a kind and unexpected gesture.

Post # 4
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

Some of my coworkers who aren’t noting to the wedding went in together and bought a gift. I was SOOOO touched by that. I think she will appreciate it. 

Post # 5
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think that would be nice

Post # 7
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bunni0929:  In order that the gift not be perceived as fishing for an invitation, I would have the gift delivered after the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Bunni0929:  I think she’d appreciate the thought of getting a gift because someone wanted to not beacause they felt obligated.

Post # 9
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

yes! i’ve said it on previous threads: most of my gifts came from friends and family who weren’t invited. they were super appreciated.

Post # 11
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Bunni0929:  I think it should be ok, that’s pretty sweet of you. The only thing that came to mind was whether your friend might think you’re trying to make her feel guilty for not inviting you, but I don’t know her or your relationship with her obviously, so don’t know for sure. Your intentions are good!

Post # 13
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Bunni0929:  Of course it’s the last thing you would want to do, I got that 🙂 I was just wondering, do you think there is a chance she could feel that way, even if she received the gift after the wedding? Like “Aww, damn I should’ve invited her – I hope she doesn’t hate me!”

Maybe a short letter in a card would help remedy this – just all the things that you’ve said, that you’re happy she’s happy and just want to congratulate her. Like I said, really sweet of you! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Bunni0929:  mmm, i would say 50-50. some before, some after.

Post # 15
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You can definitely get her something! Just write something heartfelt in the card and wish her a happy marriage! And I agree, send it after the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Definitely do it 🙂  I like to get gifts for kids that I used to coach… obviously no expectation whatsoever of being invited, but I want to wish them well and congratulate them!

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