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No, that's really not ok. A wedding is at least one time when you should bust out the pen and paper and do it the right way.
Not sure how I feel about emailing the invitations, they are just guys, but it's still a wedding. As far as the thank you notes go, I think it's so much more personal if you handwrite it. It says you took the time to sit down and think about what to say, anyone can write an email who nowadays actually sends via postal service? I know I would appreciate it, regardless of how tech saavy I may be. But, you know your guests better so if you think this way would mean just as much to them then go for it =)
I think emailed invitations are totally fine if you're having more of a casual thing, but I would find it a little odd to receive an evite to a fancy, formal wedding. Things sort of need to match up, you know?
On the other hand, I do think that handwritten thank you notes are nicer. Kind of the same way I feel about getting one of those e-cards for a birthday... just kinda shows lack of effort. But like Jen4637, you know your guests best =)
I must admit, I'm not a big fan of this idea. I think if you are mailing invites out to everyone else, then "the guys" deserve the same invitation that everyone else receives. For me, all thank you's should be handwritten. I just think it's a really nice thoughtful touch to show how much you appreciated their presence (and gift) at your wedding. I'm tech-saavy and am on email constantly, but I still think nothing replaces a hand written note sent via standard mail.
You know what?
It's your wedding. You can do whatever you want!
I agree that e-vites are fine if everybody gets e-vites and you are doing more of a casual wedding.
I had this issue with my fiance, who wanted to invite some people from work after I had sent out all the invitations, and there were none left. He wanted to just grab something from the store and just make up a quick RSVP card. My response was that if they did not deserve an invitation they did not deserve to come. I called and ordered 6 more invites today.
And you HAVE to hand write thank you notes. period.
I agree with the hive that you should send out invitations instead of emailing AND you should personally handwrite your thank you notes. Afterall, your guests took time out of their schedule to attend & share in the most memorable day with you.
Written Thank You's.... absolutely.
The invites?? They could probably go either way.
Your guests have taken the time to come to wedding and spend time with you, possibly bringing gifts. You should take the time to hand write a thank you to them
Written thank yous are a must, IMO.
On the subject of email invites... I don't have a problem with it if you are having a more casual wedding and EVERYONE gets the email invite. I was recently a bridesmaid for a friend who decided that to save money, the bridal party would not get paper invites. I can see her logic, but after all the time and money I spent on dresses and showers and presents I found it really offensive that she couldn't be bothered to mail me an invitation. But maybe that's just me...
i received both an emailed invitations and emailed thank you letter to a friends wedding last year...
i was fine with both. my friend was trying to save money where she could and sent the actual paper invites to older family members.
i didnt mind.
i would say that if you are going to email the thank you letters, then personalize it. dont sent out a mass email to everyone. take the time to type up something quick to each person.
GL!
It seems to me like you can actually do invitations fairly inexpensively, if that's your concern. The invitation doesn't have to be a multi-part, resource intensive thing; there are fold-and-send type invitations available, with a detachable RSVP postcard.
I agree that it does depend on how formal your wedding/reception is planned to be. And how formal your guests are, and how badly you want them to come. I have actually gotten a couple of wedding e-vites, from very young friends of FI's daughter. Our general opinion was that if you can't go to the trouble to get up off the couch and to the post office to mail us an invitation, we can't be bothered to get up off the couch and go to your wedding. Neither of the e-vites specifically mentioned us anyway, although it seemed a foreign concept to FI's daughter that if your name isn't on the invitation you're actually not invited. Aaaargh.
And as far as thank you notes go, seriously, if I go out and look up your registry, figure out what to send, and spend $100 of my money, you can spend ten minutes to write a short note and address the envelope, and 42 cents to drop it in the mail.
I'm not 20, but I'm not that old. I think that you probably have more than a few people on your guest list that think like me.
I agree if everyone is being E-vited, then its perfectly fine! I dont LOVE the idea of just sending real invites to certain people and not others, but really, if I was in this situation, I think my FI's friends couldnt really care less whether their invites were in paper or evite format.
But, as a bride, I would go all the way one way or the other. Everyone gets evited or no one does.
I've been e vited to a very beautiful wedding. The bride and groom had over 250 guests (large families) and rather waste thousands on paper products, they kicked more in for food and beverage, and I thought it was a wonderful way for them to use their money, so there is really no shame in E viting, IMO. I enjoyed extra appetizers and wine much more than I would have enjoyed seeing their invitation in the mail.
On the other hand....handwritten thank yous are a must...no ifs ands or buts. If you really mean it, you should take the time to write something by hand :)
Agreeing with others, handwritten thank you's are a must. No matter how tech savy society gets, nothing will ever replace a heartfelt thank you note.
Not to mention half the emails that get lost in cyberspace or marked as spam by accident.
I don't think e-mailing the guys an invitation is a big deal. Most guys wouldn't even notice if they didn't get an formal invite!
I do not, however, think that e-mailing thank you cards is appropriate. There is just something to be said about taking the time to personally handwrite a card and address and mail it that makes the "thank-you" more sincere. I would stick with handwritten T-Ys.
I'm with suzanno on this one--she hit the nail on the head.
If you want people to make the effort to come, or if they've taken the effort to buy you a present--then I think you should afford them the effort/cost in a hard copy invite or thank you.
Boys & techies may not realllllly know the difference (I'm having this same debate in my head about a co-ed baby shower I'm hosting soon), but I would do my best to resist the urge to do either invites or thank yous for a wedding by email... It may be the only event you ever have to plan that calls for such (necessary) formality.
If you want to e-vite people to the wedding then I think you could. I mean it's not traditional - but it gets the job done.
The thank you cards however, would be really inappropriate. They took the time to come to your wedding, bring you a gift and so on. It's ony fair you show them the curtosy of hand writing a thank you card to show your gratitude.
Definately real invitations and handwritten thank you's for everyone, no matter how tech-savvy they are.
It almost makes the emailed invites seem like B-listers, like you didn't buy enough invitations or something. I really think you need to go all or nothing on this one.
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This is kinda a two-fold question. I was wondering if it was okay to just email the guys (my fiance's male friends and a few of mine) their invitations in a PDF/email format. I figure it would be easier and require less resources, but do you think the guys would be offended by not getting the real thing? We are already doing online RSVPs for the tech-saavy. =)
Also, I was wondering if it was okay, etiquettely, to send out thank you emails instead of writing out cards, again, to the tech-saavy (guys and girls) who actually deal with email quite often. =)