(Closed) Can I get an opinion on my invitation wording??

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well I’m not sure I have the story correct.  When you say you got married secretly, do you mean they still don’t know?  Is the wording on the invitation supposed to be how you break the news to them?  If this is the case, I don’t think I’d like it.  I think you would want to break the news to them another way.  Also, if you’ve kept the truth from them for an entire year, why do you want to confess now?

If your secret marriage is already known and you’re looking to get an OK on the wording of this invitation, I say it looks fine.  I’ve provided your example with possible changes.  But really if you want to be informal with the wording, that’s OK.  It sounds like the reception will be laid back, so I think that will be fine.

JMT

and 

JMH

request your presence

as they exchange vows again.

This time they will join their lives in front of God, family and friends

on

Saturday, May 30, 2009

at two o’clock in the afternoon

at

Church

Address

BBQ and barn dance immediately to follow

at

Address

Post # 5
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

The invite wording sounds fine. Glad to know it’s not the first time you your breaking the news! That way the "again" is funny!! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I don’t really care for it, it sounds far too casual.  How about: 

JMT and JMH

request your presence as they renew their vows in the presence of God

on

Saturday, May 30, 2009

at two o’clock in the afternoon

at

Church

Address

BBQ and barn dance to follow

Address

 

Post # 7
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I really like it, I don’t think it needs to sound terribly formal.  It sounds like you’re having a casual swank wedding celebration- and I love the wording.  The "again" is very tounge in cheek and super cute.  I lvoe it.

Post # 8
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I think what you have is fine, but have you considered something like:

"as they renew their vows

in the presence of God

and their family and friends"

Post # 9
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it sounds great.  I would remove the second and so it reads, "in the presence of God, family and friends."

 

Post # 10
Bee
13714 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion

The only thing I would point out is based on your wording, it seems like when you actually got married you weren’t in the presence of God.  I assume you didn’t intend for it to sound like that?

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