(Closed) Can I get out of spending holidays with my in-laws this year?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yikes. That is a tough spot to be in.

On one hand, I think this is something you need to work out with your husband. Clearly, your pregnancy is having a big effect on you (in terms of staying up late) but also their comments are just degrading and unproductive.

Would it be an option for him to go and you to stay at home?

The bad news? They will always be his family. I know how it feels to have self-centered in-laws…the kind where they ask about you for about 5 seconds and then talk about themselves endlessly…the same stories over and over. But they are his family and it would be unfair for him to not see them over Christmas.

I would try to discuss with you husband the late hour and how you’re just exhausted and feeling sick. Maybe go over for Christmas eve lunch…he stays, you go home?

 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
1775 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Is your husband open to leaving earlier?  I think the key to dealing with family is boundaries.  If I were in your shoes, I would probably talk to my husband and ask him to let his family know up front and very clearly that we will come, but we need to leave at 7:30.  Then whatever is going on at 7:30, you leave.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Post # 5
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is there any way that you can just go to the dinner and then have your husband drop you off at home? That way you show your face and have a perfectly good excuse (you being exhausted from your pregnancy) for you to head home and call it a night? They should be understanding about your current situation, and if not them I’m sure your husband is and should make this happen.  Do they live far from your home? Would it be impossible for you to get home after the dinne?

Post # 6
Member
46133 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you need to have your husband pitch in here to support you when you are pregnant.

He can let his parents know that you have been having a rough ride and need to be home at ____________pm. You will both be happy to join them Christmas Eve but will not be able to stay late.

Most of us never feel as comfortable at the inlaws as we do at our own parents because we are used to the routine at “home”. Nevertheless, you are going to have to get used to sharing holidays with the parents. After you have children, you could tell both families that you are going to stay home and they are welcome to visit, if you choose.

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