Can I get some things off my chest…..?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1719 posts
Bumble bee

How long have you been waiting?

Post # 4
83 posts
Worker bee

I know exactly how you feel. My bf n i hav been together soooo long and i love him to bits but its so hard and embarrassing too i guess, when it seems like everyone else is getting engaged and married. We’ve seen all his friends and brothers get married but i knew my bf long before any of them met :/ so anyway, long story but we hav the ring picked and the proposal will be before the end of september 🙂 its just so hard to wait, hav you guys picked a ring?

Post # 5
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

When I read posts like this, I always think what a shame. You’re letting this get in the way of being happy for your friends. I always think, what would you do if the positions were switched–how would you feel after all this time, when it finally happens, instead of celebrating with you, your friends sit there drinking vodka tonics, quietly seething and throwing aggevated glances at their SO? 

You said you know it’s happening–in a month. Relax. You’re so worked up over this that you’re leting it ruin what should be happy times for you. There will always be people around you that have what you want first–houses, babies, promotions, whatever. These things will happen in your life when they’re meant to happen. If you’re always upset because people around you have them first, you’re going to miss out on the things happening in your life. Celebrate what you have now–a good man who obviously loves you and an amazing vacation coming up. 

Post # 6
1634 posts
Bumble bee

This could have been me 2 years ago. It SUCKS… HARD. but you know it’s coming, so drop the “I’ll believe it when I see it”, and be happy for your friends! You have what, a month left of waiting? the minute that ring is on your finger, it wont matter anymore! All that time you spent seething and throwing dagger eyes at your SO will be such a waste of energy! Spend that energy on celebrating for your friends so you can all truely enjoy it when it’s your turn. I spent a lot of time being pissed at DH for not proposing, and I didnt nag cause I didnt want to be a brat, but I was still being a brat inside. I had trouble truely enjoying my engagement at the beginning because I had KNOWN i had been a brat and really regretted it.

All things will happen in due course, I know it easier to believe now that I’m on the other side of it, but really try to enjoy this part. You wont have this part of your life back, so appreciate each phase as it comes! …. I hope you get new bling REALLY soon!

Post # 7
31 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yeah…I know the feeling. Last November my now fiance and I went to a wedding in New Orleans. After the ceremony he teased that he knew I was thinking on when it would be my turn, and when I asked if going to weddings makes him think on marriage he said, “Not really.” I got so upset and we had to have a serious convo right smack in the middle of cocktail hour…lol!!!

I can laugh at it now, but then I was miserable. Little did I know he had already picked out the ring and was waiting for it to be ready. He even had a date to propose all set. A little over a month and a half later I was engaged! Hang in there…it’ll come soon =).

Post # 8
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

MrsYokiman:  Agreed. I never understood why engagement is an end all be all for some individuals. What’s so wrong about enjoying the present moment, truly being happy for your friends, and appreciating the time you 2 will have as bf/gf. 

OP, your day is coming. You know that. You are a lucky woman to know you too will have someone by your side for life. Some people don’t even get that opportunity. Enjoy each and every moment now that you have with your bf. Revel in the present day. Be happy for those who will one day (very soon) be happy for you. Get back into a hobby (or pick up a new one) to keep you busy. Just hang tight and enjoy what you have right now in front of you. Best of Luck!

Post # 9
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I know the feeling. I was dating my now fiance for over three years. We saw people from our high school dating for considerably less time than us getting engaged. It was tough, and it totally felt like a slap in the face because I was “the perfect girlfriend” according to his words and he was “going to do it soon”.  But you can’t do that to yourself. I had to make the decision to enjoy what I had while I had it, “be in the moment” (cliche, *barf* i know). Enjoy the dating/courting while it is happening. All throughout your life you are constantly thinking about the next step. You need to love what you have whileyu have it. He will propose. I had to be patient and wait for the proposal, and once it happened it was BEYOND what I expected perfect. You seem like a nice person, wait patiently and don’t beat yourself(or your bf up about it). 

Post # 12
36 posts

I wish I could give you advice, but I am seeking the same advice you are. I skipped an acquaintances engagement party because I am too bitter to see her engaged to her boyfriend of 5 years while I am still waiting 7 1/2 years later………. Sad I know but I cannot help feel this way.

Post # 13
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

The best waiting advice I ever heard is actually something I stole from a mommyblogger talking about spending time with her child but I love it and try to remember it all the time. It might sound lame but if you reslly think about it, hopefully it will help.

In 10 years from now, the wedding will be over, you’ll have been married for years, perhaps you’ll even have kids, and although life will be awesome because you are husband and wife, you will never again be able to enjoy the anticipation of the proposal. These are your last fleeting days as boyfriend and girlfriend, the last days when you can day dream about the proposal and what it will be like, the last days to think of him asking the question and getting giddy from the anticipation. The last days to catch the bouquet at weddings, the last days tease him about proposing. You will. Be married for much longer than you were dating and certainly longer than you’ll be fiancés for, so when times are stressful and you just want to press fast forward already – try to picture that youARE married and you’ve been allowed to come back to your days of dating, just for a few minutes, to remember what it was like. Try to see your life through those eyes, looking back and cherishing the anticipation.  


Hope that helps! 

Post # 14
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

acc092289:  I don’t think you’re being selfish. As far as being in your shoes–I was *38* when I got married, so trust me, I know what it’s like to sit back and watch everything you want for yourself happen to other people again, again, and again. It took a lot for me to realize that as I was doing that, my own life was passing me by. That moping around about my state of limbo was doing me no favors. I just don’t want other people to make the same mistake.

It sucks that he’s been so back-and-forth about the whole thing. I’ll be thinking about you and crossing my fingers for you in August. You’re not crazy or selfish–you’re human. I hope you come back from your vacation with a ring on your finger. Best of luck! 🙂

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 15
100 posts
Blushing bee

I could have written this post three months ago. I know exactly how you feel and you are definitely not being selfish!

My FI was supposed to propose in Dec 2013 when we went overseas. I spent the whole holiday being bitter at him for not doing it. Hell, I was bitter for a whole year. We talked about it a thousand times but it just never seemed to happen!!

Eventually he surprised me with a proposal at home then a trip to Fiji. Worth the wait.

Hang in there OP, and try not to hassle him too much! If you hassle you will feel embarassed after it finally happens…

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