Can I have a child-free bridal shower?

posted 2 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Can I have a child-free bridal shower?
    Absolutely- just make sure not to make any exceptions : (42 votes)
    65 %
    Yes, but if someone can't find child care, you should let her bring the kid : (4 votes)
    6 %
    No, you can't expect a BM who traveled to be there not to bring her baby : (15 votes)
    23 %
    No, you need to allow children because... (let me know) : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    HeartsandSparkles:  i think in the case of your BM with the newborn, it’s a little different. that’s a super young child and she’s driving down for your event…although she’s bringing her husband too so my gut reaction is, “can’t he watch baby?”

    in general, a bridal shower is a 2, maybe 3 hour party at most…i honestly can’t see a reason why anyone would need to bring their kids to this. a wedding is an all day event but this is like a long lunch. seriously if all your friends can’t find a babysitter (or can, but won’t) for 3 hours, they’re being ridiculous.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1478 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I just went to a bridal shower with a bunch of babies and a couple toddlers, and to be honest it was really distracting (but I didn’t care because the bride loves kids and I’m not a mother so I’m sure I don’t understand).  One was a super tiny newborn, and I think she’s breastfed.  Breastfeeding complicates the situation, especially if she hasn’t figured out/doesn’t want to do the whole pumping thing.  2-3 hours is too long for a newborn to go without being breastfed.

    I don’t know, I’m kind of on the fence.  If the bridesmaid wants to go and support you, even with traveling with a newborn, I’d probably let her bring the baby if she’s breastfeeding.  But I think if you let her, you probably need to let the others.  If you don’t allow any babies, I don’t think you should allow exceptions, which may mean she can’t go.

    Post # 4
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee

    Bridal showers are not family friendly events, at least not the ones that I’ve hosted and attended. Any mothers invited should either make arrangements for their children or decline the invite. You’ll probably have people tell you to make an exception for the newborn but if her husband is traveling with her, I see no reason why he can’t stay with the baby during the shower so that his wife can enjoy the festivities.

    As for dealing with the invites, I’d just invite those that you want there and spread the word to the hosts about the no kids policy. They can explain it to your guests if/when they’re asked.

    Post # 5
    Member
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I did – granted the only child that would have come would have been my flower girl (and niece). MIL and BIL asked if she was invited and I let them know there would be no other children and nothing for her to do.

    If she’s traveling with her husband and baby, I’m sure the husband can watch baby for a few hours. I know breastfeeding makes things a little more difficult, but you make one exception and then others get their feelings hurt…

    Post # 6
    Member
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m not having any children at mine. I don’t understand why anyone would think bringing their children to a bridal shower unless pointedly invited.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1478 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I don’t know where the techincal cutoff point is either, but 3 months seems okay to me for the baby to stay with the husband.  I was assuming like 6 weeks or younger.

    Post # 9
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    HeartsandSparkles:  yeah i was thinking that this baby had like just popped out. if it’s 3 months or older, he/she can hang with daddy while mom goes to your shower. baby free shower is my vote. these events aren’t for kids

    Post # 10
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee

    I would not include the children on the invitation; I think most moms would not bring them unless they were specifically invited.  I think you can absolutely let your bridesmaid bring her breastfed baby if she wants though.  I don’t think everyone needs to be treated equally when it comes to children, as long as there is some kind of logic behind your choice.  Breastfeeding babies are one of those logical exceptions.  They have an actual need to be around their mom, and they won’t be running around.

    Post # 11
    Member
    18 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I wish I would of indiciated no children on my Wedding Shower invites. I honeslty didn’t think people would bring their children but my husband’s side of the family all ended up bringing their children and we ended up having like 10 kids there. Annoying.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    2519 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    HeartsandSparkles:  Aw I kind of feel bad for her! But I am confused why cant the hubby just be nearby and when baby needs to eat she can go feed the baby and come back??

    Also a 22 month old doesn’t need the constant nursing that a newborn does ( or so I think) but at that point they are on solids and won’t need to be nursed every few hours.

    Maybe say that breastfeeding INFANTS can come and excplicitly tell your other friend that the toddler needs to stay home

    We had a kid free shower and one of the ladies brought her infant without letting anyone know- I didn’t care, the baby was just about 6 mo and honestly It didn’t bother me one bit.

    If your friend is driving so far maybe make a little attempt to accomodate her?

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    That is a decision that is for the hosts of the shower to make, not you. Give them the list of your desired attendees and let them handle it from there.

    Post # 15
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    If she is driving 8 hours and breastfeeding her 3 month old I think you should be a bit more accomodating? What is happening at this bridal shower that a 3month old baby would ruin? You are saying you would rather her not come than bring her child. I can understand why she would be upset. I would understand if it was a bachelorette party. I like the suggestion of breastfeeding infants only, if you are concerned about toddlers. 

    I don’t have children yet, but am the oldest of 18 cousins, so I have always been surrounded by lots of littles. 

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