Post # 1
I know a lot of people think it’s good to invite the boss, but honestly I would feel super awkward. We are good, but not close…it’s not like he would invite me if he were getting married. I also would feel incredibly awkward if he actually came (I don’t think he would). He’s my boss and he would be seeing me in my wedding dress, first dance, speeches..it’s all kind of personal in a way.
I am having major internal issues on inviting co-workers. I have to at least invite one of them…we are friends outside of work and I’ve discussed with him already what to do about inviting the others. Then there are two others I am more close to. One of them has made a couple comments which imply she thinks she would be at the wedding. So then if I invite those three, I sort of have to invite the rest! So that’s all six. I would hope and think they would keep it to themselves and the boss wouldn’t find out. But what if he did? Would he understand it’s a boss type relationship, which is different than my coworkers, who are more my peers and we all share a common space together? What would you do?? I’m actually pretty stressed about this…help me please!
Post # 3
I wouldn’t invite all of them. I would invite ones that you are close to and draw the line at that.
Post # 4
Well, office politics are weird here. I’m pretty much in an “invite them all or don’t invite any of them” situation.
So, I’ll be inviting them all. I have a feeling that I’ll get mostly “no’s” and I’m ok with that – at least the people who I WANT to be there will be there.
Post # 5
I am inviting my boss (and several old bosses) even though we have never socialized outside of work. I work in a small industry where everyone seems to know one another and I don’t think it can hurt to include these people by inviting them. I’m not even sure if a few of them will attend. If you are inviting multiple people at your office, unfortunately your boss will most likely find out eventually (probably an innocent slip up) and might feel slighted that s/he wasn’t invited. (That obviously shouldn’t affect your work review, maybe just interpersonal communication between the two of you.) If the majority of people that you work with are invited, I would invite your boss.
Post # 6
i would invite my boss, but i work at a credit union and we are open saturdays, soooo who would run the center?
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - Orange County Performing Arts Center
I totally am inviting a few coworkers and not my boss. I’m a little worried about it too. It’s not that I don’t like my boss or anything, but when I ordered my list of who I want, there just wasn’t any space.
I’m trying to not feel obligated to invite ppl and only include ppl I really want to have there. Hope that helps. Good luck!
Post # 8
In a lot of situations, I feel like this is probably an all or nothing type of thing. But it also depends on your office environment and daily interaction level with your boss.
Post # 9
Thank you for the responses. Perhaps I should just invite him, as some of you are suggesting. What is the worst that can happen? He’ll think its kind of unexpected and maybe a little awkward as to what he should do? My other thought was just invite the FOUR people in my office I am most close to. But that leaves out just two of them? UGH UGH UGH.
Post # 10
im going to have to go with the invite all or none because whether they want to come, they will probably be offended
Post # 11
I invited 2 or my 3 bosses (talk about tricky) and 3 of 12 coworkers. It’s worked out fine and at the end of the day, NONE of them are coming. No one seemed offended that they were or weren’t invited – it’s a small enough office I would have heard the gossip if there was an issue.
Don’t invite your boss because you feel obligated. Wedding are personal events in your personal life and you don’t have to mix business and personal. I know some people on here will disagree with that, but I think it’s true.
Post # 12
I think if you invite more than just your one friend, you have to invite them all (including your boss). It sounds like you work in a small office and because of that – no way around it, unfortunately.
Think of it this way – your boss will likely find it flattering that you invited him (even if he finds it awkward) – AND, just because you invite him, doesn’t mean that he’d go! And, if he did go, you’ll be surrounded with so many other people that day, other than greeting him, you’ll probably not really interact with him.
As for the co-worker who is hinting at going – don’t let her do that to you! Simply say – it’s going to be a small affair of close family and friends – sorry! You don’t have to invite them, just because they are expecting it. If you left the company – would you REALLY ever talk to these people again? Probably not. My vote is for invite your one friend and forget the rest.
Post # 13
Oracle – that was TOTALLY my original plan. And I might still go back to that. Unfortunately, since I started thinking I was going to invite more than just him, I’ve been allowing myself to talk a little more about the wedding plans – only when asked though and in small doses. So I don’t know if confiding in a couple of them about my caterer or dress issues has put me in a bad spot if I don’t invite them now…
Post # 14
Invite those you hang out with outside work and actually consider to be friends. Unless you are discussing wedding details with them all you don’t HAVE to invite anyone you don’t want to. If you are discussing wedding details with all of them then you do need to invite them, or else it seems rude not to (because by discussing the details they will assume they are invited). Hope this helps!
Post # 15
Thank you shaydenise! When I woke up this morning, my thought was invite the FOUR I am closest to…the only ones I have shared wedding details with. The other two I am really not that close to, and if I don’t invite them, then even if the boss finds out he won’t think he’s the only one not invited…and will probably be less likely to be offended. I really appreciate everyone’s input!
Post # 16
I would not ever invite my boss to a social event. It seems like it’s crossing boundaries, or something. I have a small office of 15 people, and I invited the 3 I am closest to. We’re friends outside of work too, though.