Post # 1
This seems like an easy answer but I really don’t know. So my FI and I just moved to a new state last year and 4 months ago we moved into our new home. It is located in a subdivision. So our wedding is 3 months away and I am planning a Craft Shower for the local ladies. (Craft Shower- is a mix between a craft party and a bridal shower). At first it will only be like 6 ladies but I have been thinking, I don’t want to be ruid to some of the semi close neighbors. Should I invite a few of the neighbors in the neighboorhood to the shower? Even though they are not invited to the wedding? Our subdivision is small and we live across the street from the clubhouse so if we have any kind of event at our home people will know because of all the extra cars. I don’t even know some of these woman last name but we all kind of walk our dogs together every night and see each other like 5 times a week. So should I invite to the shower or not? We always talk about getting together one of these days, is my shower, one of these days? The shower is next month. I am only talking about 2-3 ladies in the neighborhood.
Post # 3
If it was me I wouldn’t. I also wouldn’t want to be friendly with my neighbors, I’m more of a private type of person.
Post # 4
If they’re not close enough to invite to your wedding, you definitely don’t invite them to your shower.
If you want to do a get together with these ladies, do just the craft party or maybe organize a block party.
Post # 5
Nope. Anyone who is invited to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding (the only exceptions to this are work and church showers). If you invite someone to the shower but not the wedding it will look gift grabby (even if you don’t intend it to). Don’t worry, they won’t think it’s rude if you don’t invite them. =)
Also, what is a craft shower?
Post # 6
If the gifts aren’t important to you, the other option is to not call it a shower at all — call it a craft party and invite whoever you want! The only problem with a shower is that it is 100% definitely a bring-a-gift event, so that’s why it’s only wedding guests that are invited.
Post # 7
I think I agree w. the other posters that this might end up a bit awkward. Maybe try to get to know the other neighborhood ladies in another way once you’re married.
I was once invited to the bridal shower of an acquaintance… I worked w. her in the past and she’s a Facebook friend. I wasn’t invited to the wedding. I thought it was a little odd, but I thought it was nice of her to think to invite me. I went to the shower and had quite a good time (despite not knowing anyone but her), and didn’t resent her for not inviting me to the wedding.
Post # 8
I agree with @iarebridezilla if you really want to invite people who aren’t coming to the wedding you shouldn’t call it a shower. I think, since invitations saying its a shower have probably already gone out, you should schedule some other non-wedding activity to get together with the other neighbors.
Post # 9
We don’t have bridal showers in England, but nevertheless I personally wouldn’t invite someone to a shower but not the wedding and I would be pretty annoyed if someone invited me to the shower but not the wedding. Why? Because it looks like you just want their gifts but don’t care about them enough to want them at your wedding.
I’m not saying that is your intention btw, just saying how it would probably look.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies, I figured NO was the answer.
FYI- no one is required to bring a gift because they will be helping me with the DIY wedding items. This is why I considered having a Craft Shower. We are also playing bridal games in between the craft projects.
Post # 11
@RunsWithBears: Craft Shower is a mix between a Bridal Shower and a Craft Party. No gifts are required because they will be helping me make the wedding craft stuff but we will be playing a few bridal shower games. So in the end, we are having light apps, bridal games and making a few DIY wedding items (ei- folding stuff, tieing bows on the rest of the programs, putting together the flip flop basket, etc). We will have like 3-4 different craft stations in the house and people can pick what project they want to help with.
Post # 12
Even though no gifts are required, I think it’s pretty tricky to invite your neighbors to anything so explicitly wedding-focused and then not invite them to the wedding. I think you’d risk getting off on the wrong foot with at least a few of the neighbors – and the ones who would be the most upset would probably also be the ones most likely to badmouth you, etc.
Is the wedding in your new area or back where you used to live? If you felt like you could “risk” inviting them because they’d be unlikely to come, you could go that route – but it’s also kind of disingenuous, so that’s probably not the greatest idea either.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
The women who are invited to your shower should be those closest to you, it’s even more intimate than a wedding– you should definitely not be inviting casual friends that you don’t want to include in the wedding.
Do a seperate event with these women.
Post # 14
I think it’s even worse to invite people to help you do your DIY wedding projects and not invite them to the wedding. If you invite people to a regular gift-based shower and not to the wedding, you look gift grabby which is definitely not good, but if you invite them over to help make your centerpeices and stuff, you look worse than a sweatshop-owner.
I think if you’re going to invite people to make crafts and they’re wedding-related you have to make it very clear what they will be making, which gives them the option of declining. I’m not a “crafty” person so I may have the social aspect of these groups all wrong, but to me, I would be pretty upset to be invited to a craft party only to end up making something that I could not enjoy. If I were invited to a craft party I’d expect that I could either take home some of the finished product, or that it would go to some central purpose (like decorating the apartment community rec room) or that it would be donated to some charity or worthy cause; anything else would leave me with a very sour taste in my mouth.
Post # 15
I really was just asking because we already planned to have the Craft Shower next month with only those 6 ladies but I was just making sure I wasn’t being ruid not to invite local/neighbor guest. I’ve been to work showers and not been invited to the wedding but I figure this was a work thing not a home event. Also, the crafts most ladies are making are not stressful things, maybe add a bow here or there, fold into 3, glue it down and call it a day. Random people ask all the time if I need help with anything let them know so I was just trying to kill 2 birds with one stone. (Craft Shower, lol)