Post # 1
I have 4 bridesmaids and some of them are more opinionated then others in the sense of they insist on getting something they want.
The 2 times I have been a bridesmaid I had no say in the dress. First time it was chosen without any bridesmaid shopping and we were just told to go order it. Second time I actually had the bride tell em she found dresses at a department store and asked me what size and she just bought them and said youowe me X amount.
I am not paying for there dresses but have said I will keep it under $130 and they agreed.
Can I just pick a dress that is figure flattering and say “go get it by X day” or do I have to go through the shopping experience?
Post # 3
I voted “other” because I’m in a similar situation. I have 4 BMs who are all totally different sizes and body types. They are also all over the place financially (and geographically).
So I picked the color, fabric, and length, and am giving them free reign from there. Whatever they feel comfortable in, whatever fits their budget, I’m fine with.
I will be more than willing to go shopping with them if they want and it works with our schedules, but ore than likely my sister will have to go dress shopping on her own since she’s going to school 500+ miles away.
Can you do something similar? Just make certain “guidelines” as far as color and/or length and then just let them go from there when it comes to particular style and/or price?
Post # 4
I think they’ll definitely appreciate getting some say. But then again, they might have had the same experiences as you in the past and don’t expect to. I think you should ask them if they would be ok with your choice or if they would really want to try things on first.
Post # 5
While I took into account my BMs body types and preferences I was the one that made the decision. I certainly wasn’t going to put my girls in something that made them look hideous. I chose a style that flattered my BMs and an identical style with different top (halter) to fit my MOH’s bust more comfortably. I also chose the color that would be more flattering (pink very champagne).
It becomes difficult when every BM has the opportunity to throw in her opinion. Then you go from trying to please yourself to trying to please everyone…often at the expense of what you the bride really want.
Post # 6
I just asked a few of my bridesmaids (I have 5 total) to narrow it down between 2 dresses that I selected. They confirmed the original dress that I liked, and I chose the color. I think making the bridesmaids go shopping is just an added stress, and is not as much fun as when the bride shops for a dress. I say and choose for them and make it painless.
Post # 7
I think that not all dresses look good on everyone, so it would be great for you to see since everyone’s body isn’t the same, but it is your decision at the end of the day
Post # 8
I think it’s nice for people to feel like they’ve been heard/had some kind of voice, and that you care about what they want/how they feel. I would do a shopping day to get a feel for what looks good on your bms (plus it’s fun!), plus sometimes things fall differently than you envision. At the end, or sometime afterwards if you need to mull options over, tell them that you really like dress x for them, and then stand your ground. While a bm might not like it best on them, if you sell that it’s the best dress for the group and your vision, i don’t see anyone arguing too much. Even if one of them doesn’t look super happy with the end result, I’m sure she’ll get over it after a day.
Post # 9
In 1 wedding I helped her pick them and in another I was just told what to get which was A-OK with me. In MY wedding, I begged for advice from my BMs but they just told me to pick so I went with a fabric and color and let them choose the style.
I really think it’s up to the Bride. Do what you think is fair. They agreed on a price point and if you think you have too many opinions flying at you, consider letting them choose a style. I went shopping to look around with just one bridesmaid.
Post # 10
Because most of my bridal party was long distance, I involved my two local bridesmaids (one of whom was one of my two matrons of honor) in my selection process. The other six (including my two junior bridesmaids) did not have any input into the process.
Post # 11
i just told my girls what length, color, and material i wanted, and they could pick the dress themselves. we all decided to go out together and try some on.. and they all ended up with the same dress! i think it’s important that they feel comfortable in the dress and that there is a budget, but ultimately it is your decision.
Post # 12
@missjewels: I’m having a very small bridal party (3 total, 2 girls and 1 guy), and they all live far away (the guy lives closest, but he’s still about 800 miles away).
I’m planning to select a few dresses I like, choose a color (or colors, depending on what my fiance and I decide we’d like to do), and send the girls pictures of all the dresses and information on locations in their area where they can try them on. I’ll let them know that they can choose any of those dresses in the specified color(s). I think this is a good compromise … You’re able to choose the basic look and color that you like, but your bridesmaids can choose the dress they feel most comfortable in.
Side note, when I was a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding (she will be one of my bridesmaids), I didn’t get any say in the dress. She picked it out and gave me the information regarding price, location to order, etc. I’m also going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding this year (she’ll be my other girl bridesmaid), and though she hasn’t 100% committed to a bridesmaid dress style, she seems to like one in particular (she’s been texting me pictures and asking what I think about it). So again, not picking it out myself.
I think a lot of brides do just choose the dresses, but I think it’s nice if you feel comfortable giving them at least some say.
Post # 13
My daughter and her maid of honor went to choose a dress together. They then told all the bridesmaids where to go to get measured
Post # 14
At first I wanted to let my bridesmaids have input. They only liked casual bridesmaids dresses that look good at, like, afternoon outdoor weddings. My wedding is formal and in an art deco theater, so we are going glam. They hated everything that fit the theme. I was trying to appease them all but in the end all that happened was that I decided on my own (well, my mom helped) and had to pay rush shipping so they can have them in time. Now at least two of them have decided they like the dress I picked, and the third says it looks “too prom” because it’s a long gown and that the color I picked (turquoise, which is my favorite color, one of the wedding colors, AND a color that the theater is decorated in) isn’t good. Whatever. So from my experience, I’d say just choose a dress and go with it.