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not well, i guess.
if i let it get to me, i end up a bucket of snot whether it be in my office, or in my car, or at home lying across the bed.
lately, i have attempted not to let things bother me. changing my perspective on things is helping.
my opinion on your situation? not that you asked.....lol, maybe you just need some space from her? talking about it everyday and nothing else probably isn't helping the situation.
With less than 2 weeks to go, my lifesaver... list, list, lists! I know that may not help your current situation but... It might help you guys to set up like a Yahoo or Gmail group. That way you could have a common calender and a common place to post pictures and such. Just a suggestions. I agree with GetMarried4Less, you may just need to take a step back from your FMIL for a little while.
Luckily, we're paying for everything ourselves, so we don't have to coordinate with the person who's paying the bills.
I vent to relieve stress. If its not on weddingbee its w/ friends. But I never vent to the same person though. I try to spread it out and keep it short. Otherwise, I think I'd drive everyone crazy. lol
But w/ all the planning that you're doing, I'm sure it will be worth all the headache in the end. Just remember (though easier said than done), when the day comes, enjoy every minute of it. Good luck planning!
I'm totally feeling your pain. I've been in anxiety mode for the last two weeks... I realized today that I have like 34 some odd days until the wedding... 34!!!! I still haven't finalized my menu, I'm still trying to figure out my budget, and shi*** I don't even think the lady has started my dress!!!
As you know FMIL lives here in town with FFIL & they are weird cheap-skates about some things... It really drives me nuts to see them buying things left & right (brand new motorcycle, a trailer for the motorcycle, surprise car for birthday, new $2000 laptop when desktop is fine- doesn't need it for work, just wanted it, etc) and they are being judgmental about how I am spending MY (not their son's either- mine) money on this wedding. They haven't and aren't contributing a DIME.
Well she's fairly involved in the wedding planning as your FMIL... I found out that my venue didn't order new china & glassware as they said they would (the contract is vague enough that I can't do anything about it), so now I'm having to pull $500 out of my butt for glassware rentals & china rental, in addition to the linens and other things. I would say screw it, but the stuff they have looks right out of huddle house/ waffle house- IHOP? They have water goblets & 6 oz wine glasses (and charge $4.50 each for house crap)- no high balls, no beer mugs, not enough champagne flutes- It's a f'in disaster. She tells me that people won't mind drinking out of a bottle of beer (which I don't but some people in my family do), and that people that order mixed drinks won't mind drinking out of a PLASTIC CUP! COME ON! PLASTIC CUP??!?!! WTF! Plastic cup to me = frat party. I'm trying to have a nice, elegant wedding and then I give someone a plastic cup? "Yeah, let's get up on our tractor hun with our shotgun & git us sum 'possum for supper baby!" Talk about classy. Isn't it?!?
Well, so here's my point. I have been shopping with FMIL to get her a dress and found one that was AMAZING, and looked so great on her, but decided after we put it on hold overnight that she didn't want to buy it because it was "too much money". It was slightly expensive but LOOKED AMAZING. She says it is because they had to spend so much on FFIL's suit (b/c they procrastinated when they were on clearance from last summer & had to pay full price for this season's)... And now she wants to wear something with a floral print of pink and blue flowers with a background of white... she found this yesterday when I spent the whole day studying... WHITE?!?!? PRINTED??? WTF!?!? I know it's crazy and neurotic, but the one thing I kept saying at all the stores, we are doing pictures and I'd like you to not wear a printed dress... solid, solid, solid, no prints, solid, hot momma, but no prints, yes, solids. NO PRINTS! Needless to say, I'm not handling the stress here all that well. I had that anxiety attack two weeks ago (bad I tell ya)... I'm getting less sleep each night and my weight won't budge... Between stupid last minute wedding crap, my poor time management so all this stuff is crammed into the last month before the wedding & the stress of school being that I'm taking 21 credit hours and am failing neuroscience, I am seriously gracious to the makers of Xanax, as I would not get through a day without them. (LOL!)
Take a day off!!! Seriously. And give everybody else one too. I got all caught up last week with a bunch of work stuff and some excitement that's going on in my sister's life, and I was in such a sunny mood by the end of the week - and FI said - you know, you haven't mentioned any wedding stuff for three days! And of course it was in the back of my head most of the time, and I do get my daily WB fix, but it actually was nice to just not discuss wedding stuff with anyone, not even him. Because IMO its all the little details that you obsess about every minute of the day that snow you under eventually. They will all still be there a few days later!
So is this NWR because the stress includes other things?? GEEZ?
I went to the gym and sweated my A!! off on the elliptical for 45 minutes! I've been having nightmares about doing my invites (designing, printing, assembling) and have woken up with the sweats.
That seems to help as I'm a little better tonight. But I've noticed I've become a little more depressed (with 5 months to go) because basically I'm doing the details by myself. FI is doing the music and his own clothes but I'm doing a majority of the rest. All of my bridesmaids are around the country and my family is in the midwest - I'm in the east.
In short, I work out. Hard. A lot. And then I make a list.
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I think my FMIL is officially losing her mind. I swear I have to say everything about 65 times before it sinks in.
On a normal everyday basis this may not be a huge deal, but when we have a wedding to be planned and the details are discussed daily, having to start from the beginning (or so it feels) can be rough.
She's totally into the wedding, and is the main person planning it with me, she's better described as my best friend - and given that she's not old by any means...frustration on my part is setting in...
Yesterday we had a 30 minute conversation that revovled around the same question. She was wondering why my parents couldn't pitch in more money towards the wedding. I told her it's because they don't have any, nor the avialable credit to take out a loan. I had to say it 8 more times, after she asked the question 8 more time only wording it a tad bit different. Eventually I began to feel really sad because I had to keep talking about how broke my family is and no one wants to do that.
Then today we had to go back around for 15 minutes about the packaging for the popcorn for the snack buffett we're having at the reception. SUddenly she thought we were putting it in tin bins and that she felt that was "too movie theather" I e-mailed her back kinda like "huh?" with no idea whaere any of that came from and she had no clue either!
Long story short, I think the stress of being over budget and the wedding coming up faster then I expected is getting to me and her....
How are you handeling the stress that comes while planning?