Post # 1
I have a huge dilemma with my fiance’s sister… ok about a year and a half ago we were all out together and she got really mouthy with me and decided to pull my hair, jump on top of me and start punching me. my fiance obviously pulled her off of me and him and I left. we hadnt spoke since that incident. When the choosing of the wedding party came around I told my fiance’ that he should ask her to be in the wedding as a bridesmaid because she is his sister and everything. I thought it was the right thing to do to include her. He had called and asked and she went off saying she could not believe he would have the guts to call and ask her such a thing when he knows she does not approve of the wedding and she hates my guts and that she is completely unsupportive of us getting married. Well that really hurt both of us. I told him I do not want to invite her to the wedding after everything she has done and that was just the last straw for me. I told him I do not want her there and he completely understands where I am coming from. However his mother keeps telling him she has to come no matter what. I really do not want someone at the wedding that does not support our marriage and I am afraid she will try her best to ruin the day. Is this completely wrong of me to insist to my fiances mother that I do not want here there. Is it wrong not to send an invite to her? I Just want this day to be perfect and with all the drama and hurt she has caused us I do not want here ruining this wonderful day for me.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Rachael, I’m so sorry about this! It sounds like your FSIL wouldn’t come to the wedding even if invited. First, I’d have your fi have a serious conversation with his mother about the situation. If she is still being difficult and you don’t want to rock that relationship, perhaps you should still invite the sister and hope that she doesn’t come.
With her amount of crazy though, I think if she really wanted to go, she’d go with or without an invite. Hopefully she just won’t want to and you won’t have to worry about her that day!
Post # 4
Wow I would never have asked her to be in my wedding, especially without trying to make amends with her first. But that’s besides that point… I’m so sorry she’s continuing to treat you this way and I COMPLETELY support yalls decision not to invite her and not to have her at the wedding. There’s no reason why she shoud come and I would not let the mother make me think otherwise. Stand firm! How can the mother have the gall to ask yall to invite her after the way she has treated you?
Stand firm, honey and do not invite her!! *hugs*
Post # 5
I think she’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to be there. However, this is an issue that your FI has to take up with his mother, not you. Have him call his mother and say something like “Mom, my sister made it very clear to me that she does not support this marriage and wanted nothing to do with the wedding the last time I spoke with her on the phone. We are not excluding her, she has excluded herself. If you want her to be invited to the wedding, you need to take that up with her and have her apologize. But until then we are going to respect her wishes by not inviting her.”
Post # 6
Ewwwwww do not invite her, who wants negative drama at their wedding
Post # 7
definately do NOT invite her. who knows if she might actually try something relatively stupid and try to ruin your day. but as greenleafmountain stated, this is something your FI needs to take up with your FIL.
Post # 8
I would not invite her. Your wedding day is supposed to be celebrated by people who love you and support you as a couple. Even if she is his sister that does not entitle her to a HAVE to be invited. This is yours and your fiance’s day. No one else. I think thats what people have to relize. Thats how i see it!
Post # 9
Your FI definitely needs to talk to his mom and explain the whole situation – I can only assume that she doesn’t really know what all has gone on or she wouldn’t be so insistent. Hopefully she’ll understand. Otherwise, maybe you can invite the FSIL and hope she doesn’t show. I don’t know her at all, but it sounds like she could cause drama on your day. If she ends up coming, maybe you could ask a few people you really trust to keep an eye on her, without her knowing, and if she starts acting up ask her to leave. If she won’t leave, have her escorted out. It sounds harsh, but it’s your day and it shouldn’t be ruined.
Post # 10
Don’t invite her. The day should belong to you, your SO and the people who support you fully.
A little story my mother told me that made me feel better about not invite people….
When my mom told her mother she was getting married her mother asked if she was pregnant for a whole week. Though my parents got married 2 weeks after getting engaged and my Grandmother was not included in the wedding in any way. They both got over it, and my mother had a beautiful day.
Post # 11
*hugs* that sounds like a really tough situation! Just out of curiosity, how old is the sister? I think BrideMegan’s idea is on the ball. Try not inviting her (you’d be totally justified in doing so!). If that fails, hope she doesn’t come. And if that fails, I think the idea of having ‘sister-bouncers’ is fantastic and you should definitely do just that! Either way, goodluck, and I REALLY hope it turns out for the best!
Post # 12
OMG she attacked you! I am so sorry but I would never want someone like that at my wedding. You have every right in the world to not invite her.
Post # 13
I am so sorry this is happening to you and your FI. I think you both are making a very wise decision not to have her there. My advice is to have your FI put his foot down with his mom, and tell her there is no way in H*** that she is invited or welcome.
Post # 14
Have your Fiance sit down with his mother and explain everything. This is yours and your fiance’s big day, and it should be shared with those who LOVE you two!
By the way, great name, that’s how I spell mine too!
Post # 15
Thanks everyone for all the comments and advice!!! She is 24 years old… to whom ever that was that asked =). The last time his mother came over she said his sister is worried she will not get an invite… I dont even see why she would think she would get an invite after that!? She blantantly said she did not support us getting married and I do not want someone at the wedding that is not supportive. I want it to be a happy exciting day. She is extreme drama and always has been and other than the fact that she is not supportive I am scared of what she might do there. I am just hoping that without me sending her an invite she wont just show up uninvited.
Post # 16
oh no =( i’m sorry! that;s a terrible situation, BUT SOOO big of you to want to ask her to be a BM dispite all that. sounds like she needs to grow up
i say if you and your fi are all for it, dont bother sending her an invitation…it sounds lke ANOTHER opp. for her to get mouthy and say “i cant believe you have the balls to send me an invite”