- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Long story, sorry but I really need help. She’s the only invite I haven’t sent.
My sister and her husband fell pregnant and told me the day I was about to put a deposit down for an overseas wedding they thought they might be. Because of her due date, we had to cancel as she couldn’t fly. Of course, this was no problem at all, I was thrilled for her. When she told me though, she said she had just taken an at home test and needed to go to the doctors tuesday to check.
Come tuesday, I call her a few times to see how it went and if I should 100% cancel. She finally picks up on Wednesday and gets really annoyed and asks, “what did you want, the baby to die? I would have called you if something went wrong. Sorry for ruining your wedding plans.” strange as this sounds, this is not that odd for her to say.
Anyway, fast forward a few months and we are having an argument on the phone one night. it’s because she’s been ignoring calls again. This time it’s because I asked if she would be comfortable if I were there when she told mum and dad and she said sure. If she had said no (and I offered this a million times) i would have backed off, no problem. She doesn’t tell me what time she’s going to mum and dad’s house but when I talk to mum and dad that night they say she already organised a time with them. So I call her up and am upset saying you could have just said no instead of ignoring my calls. This was at 10pm.
The next day, she calls and we both say sorry for having a fight on the phone and she tells me what time to get to mum and dads. I get there, she’s already told them (but that’s fine of course) and they’re thrilled. I’m so happy to see my folks pleased. I give her the present I’d been waiting to give her once in the all clear (a 1k photoshoot for her and hubby for this stage of their lives) and they both say thanks. Then she leaves and her husband comes back and says to me, “don’t you ever fucking call my wife again.” Really shocked, I say, “woah, what? please don’t speak to me like that” and he replies, “You fucking called her at night and made her cry and she was up till 2 am crying. You put her and her baby at risk and you don’t care. Never call her again”
I got really taken aback because my fiance and parents were standing next to me. Some weird surge of anger/self defence went through me and I told him to stop talking to me like that. He clenched his fist and waved it in the air in a “you’re lucky” way and walked out. I burst in to tears and the arms of my partner and then my dad said “what the hell was that?” which I presume my brother in law heard and he came back and said “you have no idea how fucking angry I am at you”
He screamed some more and talked to me like I’ve never been spoken to. I got so angry I stood up and screamed “get out of our house.” My sister heard and came inside and told me she was sorry he screamed at me but he did it for a reason and when my parents and fiance said that was no excuse for what just happened, she put her hands up in everyone’s face and said they didn’t understand what she went through last night and taht he did it for a reason.
Wow. He returned to my folks house and apologised to them. They said he needed to apologise to me. Three and half weeks later he writes back (only because my folks insist once again) “sorry if you got scared. You’ve probably never seen me that angry” essentially not apologising at all. My sister has said nothing to me for the few weeks in between, but i know she’s been complaining to my parents that they love me more than her and that’s why they’re being cold to her and feeling bad for me.
It’s now been a few months and my wedding is in 2 months. we decided to elope but are having our reception with family and friends when we get back. I don’t want them there. Am I being unreasonable?