Can I not invite the bad kids?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@TeeBee25:  All of the kids or none of them.  I would forego having flower girls so that I could get out of inviting the badly behaved children.  I didn’t have flower girls and I didn’t miss it at all.

Post # 6
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

If you can live with the possible consequences and fallout of not inviting them, then sure, go for it. Personally, I’d drop the flower girls and make it zero kids.

Post # 7
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

@TeeBee25: Just saw your previous msg.  If the boys aren’t siblings to the girls, then you could probably get away with not inviting them. Again, be prepared for hurt feelings and your aunt deciding not to go.

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Maybe the aunt wants a break and won’t mind not bringing the boys. Are the girls staying for the whole reception? I wouldn’t have a problem with having just the flower girls there because they are in the bridal party and not the rest. Children under 6 do not need to be at a wedding. I know not everyone agrees with that, but the only one under 6 at my wedding will be my 4 year old niece who’s the flower girl. The 1 year old babies will be home with their grandparents (in-laws, not invited to the wedding). 

Post # 9
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TeeBee25:  I would hire a babysitter. You have to invite them, but you can say “all kids will be eating with the babysitter and then can join us for dancing”. It was what we did and was the best money we spent. The kids got to be kids and didn’t have to be good for 8 hours straight. 

Post # 11
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@TeeBee25:  Well, luckily they had already decided themselves that they wouldn’t bring the babies anyway, so I didn’t have to say anything. Most of our siblings are looking forward to a kid free night out. My niece will be picked up by my sister’s MIL during the reception. 

Post # 12
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@TeeBee25: I think the kids being on opposite sides of the family makes it even easier. Just say the only kids invited to the wedding are the flower girls. Leave it at that. 

Post # 13
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If the girls are in the bridal party, and the boys are not, that’s a reasonable division to make, I think.

Post # 14
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@TeeBee25:  i have been to many weddings that didn’t include “all” of the children in the family, even ones of the same age or age group.  it’s your wedding, you decide who you want there.

fwiw, when i was really young, my sister was a flower girl at my older cousin’s wedding.  i was maybe 7, my sister 8 and my brother 9.  only my sister (as the flower girl) was invited to the wedding, of course along with my parents.  my brother and i were not invited and stayed home with the sitter.  my parents were totally fine with it and so was i.   then again, back then, children didn’t have that sense of entitlement to everything like many do nowadays.

Post # 15
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TeeBee25:  You can’t exclude them. Is it possible to assign another family member to watch them closely? So you don’t have to worry about them?

Post # 16
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think you can get away with it by saying that you’re only inviting children that are in the bridal party (aka the flower girls). The aunt may still get pissy, but that’s what I’d go with!

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