(Closed) Can I “reuse” my sister-in-law’s color scheme?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think a chat with her would be a nice gesture, but it wouldn’t be the end of the world to reuse the color scheme.

One thought: lavender is not an easy color to wear. My colors are lavender and gray, and I chose gray for the BMs dresses for that very reason. I would highly recommend a shorter dress if you go with lavender, and also to tend towards gray toned lavenders, not Easter pastels. I’m a fair skinned blonde, so pastels are okay on me, but I have to be very picky.

Post # 4
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would talk to her.  You can always include the color and not make it the main color.  That way you have your color, but aren’t copying her scheme.

Post # 5
2682 posts
Sugar bee

Id talk to her and make she she doesnt mind.  But if you have always dreamed about it then I would go for it.  You can always choose a different accent color and it will look completely different than her wedding.

Post # 6
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Just make sure you don’t use the EXACT same shade or lavender and that you don’t use her whole color scheme. Guests that attend both events might be like…uhhh, deja vu, much?

Post # 7
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

the guests are the only thing I would think would think it was odd, but who cares? Bring it up to your SIL and be like “i’ve always loved that color! would you mind terribly if I chose something similar?” She shouldn’t care!  🙂

Post # 8
40 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

Personally, this may sound so selfish, but I would use it… if this is what you have always wanted then you need to do it. You don’t want to regret anything. But to be courteous I would talk to her about it- that is always a good approach.

Most people wouldn’t mind you using their color scheme. Least I wouldn’t… I would be really flattered lol

Lavender is a great choice… I am doing black and white with different shades of purple- mostly lighter purples… there are alot of options… good luck and good choice! 🙂

Post # 9
875 posts
Busy bee

I think that if lavender is your favorite color then use it because you love it!  Let your Future Sister-In-Law know that you have always liked that color as well.  Be sure that you are making your events distinctively your own…  If her wedding is going to be close in time frame to yours … you might even want to work together and share some basics…. that you can reuse or buy in bulk together!  It might be as simple as lavender ribbon, shades of purple sugar for a cookie table, or vases, baskets, or fabric that you might be able to use more than once…)  You might use a table runner for an altar that she wants to use on the guest book display… you wouldn’t necessarily be using the items in the exact same way and it is likely that the guests  would not notice or care…  But it would probably make both of you have a bigger bang for your bucks!!! 

Post # 10
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

have you talked to her?

its a pretty common wedding color (pinks and purples are pretty classic) so guests wont think twice about it. details are going to be different, centerpeices, invites, monogram, etc.

if you were my sil i would love it and offer to get some things together to save on costs. flowergirl baskets, ringbearer pillows can all be changed just a little and save a big cost. if other colors are different it will be fine.

Post # 11
2641 posts
Sugar bee

When is your FSIL’s wedding.  Your wedding is over a year away.  Are guests even going to remember what her color scheme was?  I don’t think it’s a bad idea to let her know, “I’ve always wanted lavendar.   I hope you’re not mad.”

I don’t know your Future Sister-In-Law.  But some brides might get bent out of shape over that sort of thing.  And you don’t want to “ask” so you put yourself in a position where she can say no.  A bride gets a day, right?  She doesn’t get  to own the color wheel.  If you’re copying everything, the whole feel of her wedding, I say that ‘s wrong.  But one color?  No.  But to be fair, I’d pick  different accent color.

Post # 12
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I wouldn’t discuss it with her, that would just open the door for drama. Just use the color that you want. Use accent colors and themed elements to express your style too.

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