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Yes you can skip the ceremony and just put in an appearance at the resception. I had a few guests do that and I wasn't offended at all.
I don't see why not. As long as you rsvp to let them know you will be there, I see nothing wrong with just attending the reception.
As long as there will be enough people that you won't really be missed, you will probably be okay and they'll never notice. But if they were to notice, would they be offended, and how much would that matter to you? That's the risk I see you're taking. It does sound like a most unfortunate time of day and year to have a wedding. Ugh.
I'm on the side of not skipping the ceremony. That was one thing that really got to me about our wedding. I would rather people come to my ceremony to see me get married than skip it and just come to the reception. To me, I feel like people are saying that I'm good enough to supply food and drink for you, but not important enough for you to see me make my vows to my husband. I know I'm in the minority on this one, but I feel that the ceremony is more important than the reception.
Oh, and with that said, that is a really unfortunate time for a wedding! So, if you can, try to make it to the ceremony, but given the day and time, it would be more understandable than if it were on a Saturday at the same time...
I'm going to play devil's advocate and say NO to skipping the ceremony. In my opinion, the whole point of inviting people to the reception is because they were there with love and support during the ceremony.
I, of course, admit that I probably won't care if people skip my ceremony. BUT, I think it's in poor taste, no matter how inconvenient.
I think that skipping the ceremony is the epitome of rude. You'll go to the reception, where you'll get free food and drinks and music and dancing, but you won't go to the ceremony and celebrate and support the couple's commitment to each other. It just strikes me as incredibly rude, not to mention that it gives the impression that you don't care about the couple.
If you really don't want to go, mail in your gift. If you really need to go to the reception, either go to the ceremony as well, or just go in, drop your gift off and say your well-wishes to the couple, and leave.
We actually contimplated doing the same thing a few weeks ago for a HS friend's wedding. We really meant to go, and RSVP'd yes but things just fell apart at the last minute and we KNEW we wouldn't make it to the ceremony. FI's Dad said to just go to the reception but we (FI & I) decided that would be WORSE than not going at all because it would look like we didn't care about seeing them get married, we just wanted food, and drinks. I still feel guilty about it but know that if I were the bride I'd rather you come to the ceremony & skip the reception than vice versa. If you don't think the bride would feel that way then I'd say go to the reception only, but her feelings might be hurt. It's just a risk you'd have to take. :)
For me I think the most important part of the wedding is the marriage ceremony and not the reception afterwards. You can go to a good party anytime but this couple will only be married once! I had 5 or 6 people attend our ceremony but not attend our reception (even a long catholic ceremony).
If I were in this situation it would be all or nothing. Go to the ceremony and reception and make concessions to do so, talk to my boss about working extra hours earlier in the week etc. Otherwise I would not go at all and just send a gift later.
Good luck!
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Well, SHOULD you... probably not.
CAN you...realistically, probably yes if there are enough people there that you won't be missed! :)
If you think they'll talk for months if you don't come at all ... they might still talk for months if they see you at the reception and not the ceremony. I would tough it out and go, it's just one night! :)
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i say yes. i have definitely skipped the ceremony. Examples: there is a 3 hour break before the reception, the ceremony is during the week at a crazy time, the ceremony is 2 hours long, etc...
Brides will tell you its rude, but so what. Its rude for her to be angry and have the ceremony at the time and place that would require you to take the whole afternoon off. If you really arent that close, you wont be missed. Trust me, as long as you take a gift, she wont care that you didnt make it to the ceremony.
I agree with everything Mlkey said... I would be deeply hurt if people only showed up for the reception & skipped the ceremony.
I didn't want to go to someones wedding... so I went to the ceremony w/ a gift in hand & skipped the festivities. (I told her ahead of time so I didn't leave her with an empty seat!)
If you are going to skip the ceremony-- I think you need to tell your family/cousin that due to [insert excuse] you won't be able to get to the ceremony on time, but you'll be there for the reception. This way no one will be surprised & hopefully it won't be big news in the family circle :)
I would personally be deeply offended if a guest skipped my ceremony but showed up for the reception. To me, that says "I'm only here for the food".
If you have to go to the wedding, go to the ceremony. If you think your family will "talk" if you don't show up to the wedding at all, they would probably still "talk" if you only show up for the reception.
I'm sorry to sound brutally honest, but I think it's important to consider all sides to your situation.
Agreed with bearcub. I would be really upset and hurt if somebody intentionally skipped my ceremony, then just showed up for the food and drinks. And I think family will talk just as much, if not more, if they see you slipping in post-ceremony.
That being said, if you maybe explain to your cousin that you can't get off of work in time but will get there as soon as you can, even if it's mid-reception, and that you're really sorry - that would probably be ok.
I voted yes. Skip the ceremony. Don’t people view the entire ceremony and reception as a celebration of the couple’s marriage? If the entire day wasn’t considered important there wouldn’t be so much condemnation of brides who only invite people to the ceremony or don’t have one. So as long as you showed up at some point to wish them well, I think you should be okay.
Also, in today’s economy, I realize that many people have ceremonies during the weekday to cut costs, but they shouldn’t expect you to leave work early to attend their celebration. If it were that important to them that every single person be there for the entire thing, they should have held the wedding on a day when it is more likely everyone could attend (like a Saturday or Sunday) since not as many people traditionally work those days
I don’t know what your work situation is like, but personally I wouldn’t jeopardize my job by taking more time off than is absolutely necessary. And if going to the ceremony has the potential to place you in an untenable situation (like they were deciding who to lay off at work and picked the people who take the most time off
As long as you are there at some point, you are still showing your support. However, you should let the bride and groom know that you will be unable to make the ceremony. This way they might be able to remove chairs, etc, so it doesn’t look like a lot of people are missing.
Thanks for the replies. I admit, I am pretty sure I am not going to the ceremony. She's one of a million cousins and I didn't care to even invite her to my wedding (I didn't invite past aunts/uncles at my small wedding). I am surprised at the poll results, though. It is nearly split.
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We're only having about 15 people, including us, at the ceremony. I would definitely be upset if one of the guests didn't show, and just turned up at the reception. Then again, they are all OOT, so I don't see that happening.
I always try to think.. what would I think if it were my wedding. This is the best way to decide on these type of things.. I would be very offended if a guest showed up to my reception without attending the ceremony (unless there was an emergency) but I am from the South and that is how things are done..
I think that as I bride, I would be more happy to celebrate with people at all on my day. Even if they only come to the reception, at least I would get to see the person on one of the biggest days of my life.
I think this is fine. Like others have said, I would be glad to see my loved ones on my wedding day. If they can only make it to the reception, that's fine. My aunt and uncle are vegans and they already told me they're staying for the ceremony, not the reception due to their dietary restrictions, so it can work either way.
I like what lemondrop and marigold said. Personally, I had some people not go to my ceremony. I had a long catholic mass, and there wwas3 hour gap between ceremony and reception. I get that. I couldn't help the schedule, but I get it.
And yes, if it's that important to her (and perhaps it is not) then she really should have scheduled it at a more convenient time. I'm sorry, but being invited to a wedding doesn't mean you are required to inconvience yourself because a gal you don't really know too well is having "her day". It's enough that you're going to the reception. I guess I feel if a bride is going to put her ceremony where most people would have to take off from work early to attend, she waives her right to be irate if people only make it to the reception.
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I am invited to my dad's cousin's wedding next month, and I really don't want to go, but it necessary that I make an appearance with gift in hand. My family would talk for months if I didn't. The thing is, her wedding is going to be at 5:00 on a Friday outside in July in Omaha, Nebraska, in the heart of the city. What this means: rush hour traffic (have to leave work early) and standing in the sweltering heat! It would not be unusual for it to be 90-100 degrees with 100% humidity at that time in July. They picked the most undesirable day, time, and month to have this wedding. I am not sure who they expect to be there.
My question: Can I skip the ceremony and just go to the reception?
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