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@UnionFlare: How about instead of just outright telling him no, take his suggestion and work with it.
Instead of a keg, maybe get a selection of bottled beers from a local brewery as well as wine.
Instead of ordering pizza, maybe do a slightly more gormet backyard bbq feel. Have high quality burgers and chicken with a fun "toppings" bar with interesting things like avocado, goats cheese, etc.
Show him you can have a fun/casual homecoming reception which is nice but doesn't break the bank.
Work with him rather than just treating him like a child and saying outright no.
@KatNYC2011: That's an awesome idea!
OP, I'm pretty sure that your friends will behave themselves even if there ARE kegs. Yes, it might be a backyard party, but they aren't going to do keg stands in front of your parents and families, have a little more faith in your buddies.
Honestly, if we did things a little differently, I'd love to have a backyard pizza and beer party as a reception (with cocktails too, since I don't do beer.) I'd go and have a great time!
I wish we could have had a sort of fancy outdoor BBQ for our rehearsal dinner, but unfortunately our wedding is in February in Canada lol.
I like KatNYC2011's ideas!
@KatNYC2011: LOVE that idea.
I think pizza at a really beautiful Italian restaurant with wine and beer would be super tasteful and fun. You can even see if they will make the pizza in to heartshapes for you. Bring little centerpieces and play romantic standards. It's not a keg, but it will save you tons!
Good ideas - Thanks ladies (and/or gents!) I do like the idea of trying to ritz up a BBQ theme kind of idea. That's a great compromise.
I agree - I don't want to make him feel like every idea he has is stupid. I was gentle with him too but I did give him a few side-eyes when he mentioned a keg. Perhaps the mental image he holds of the party is different from mine
@KatNYC2011: ditto.
You could have mini gourmet pizzas of different types (think gourmet bagel bites), too, so your then-DH would get his pizza. I agree with the keg bit though; SO and I have agreed on kegs at our wedding, but that's b/c we're okay with the possibility of the keg stand. I've seen it happen at weddings (the MOB!) before.
@UnionFlare: Also, if you hire a bartender you COULD feasibly have a keg or kegs behind the bar. I do think beer tastes better on tap. We had a keg from a local brewery at our wedding and it was nice to have good quality beer on tap (plus the keg was behind the bar and only operated by the bartender so no matter how drunk people got there was no chance of a keg-stand).
I like the idea of jazzing up the backyard party he wants with nice decorations, and upgrade the food a little. As previously selected, perhaps do bottled beer instead, and other drinks in nice dispensers. For pizza, grilled pizza is easy and delicious. You could do fun apps of tater tots, mac/cheese, soup shooters, mini milkshakes, and other comfort foods. Doing single serving and garnish can do alot to "class it up". I can absolutely understand your point of view, and I think there is absolutely room to compromise. Good luck!
I was in kind of the same predicament. My fiance is used to laid back, pot luck weddings, and I'm used to fancier affairs. I do like the idea of a backyard wedding, but I really had my heart set on no paper plates (please, don't be offended if you're using paper plates, we all have different visions).
We compromised: we're doing a "classy BBQ". Laid back food (like beef brisket and roasted sweet potatoes) that's laid out in a fancy way on antique platters, and served on china.
FWIW, we are having a keg, because it's cheaper and draft beer just tastes better. We're gonna do a microbrew that's easily accessible to people of all tastes like a Brooklyn lager or pendant ale. It will be behind the bar, served by a bartender, in glass cups. We're also having red & white wine, and 2 signature drinks.
So, my opinion, it can be done in a way that makes you both happy :)
Hmm...we had lots of win and a keg at our wedding. People got a little tipsy, but no one was doing keg stands. I love the ideas PP suggested, but if your FI really wants a keg I wouldn't let it start a fight. It is way cheaper than bottles of beer.
ETA: I meant to say that we had lots of wine but I'm cocky enough to say our wedding had lots of win as well :P
Gotta remember... it's HIS wedding too....
We had a pizza and beer rehearsal dinner. It was awesome. Why not get fancy pizzas instead of Papa John's or Dominos? Plus, kegs work for a backyard celebration. You could add wine and a special drink or two. Have fun with it. I went to a nice backyard one anniversary party that had kegs, simple finger foods, and a band.
I haven't really ready many of the responses, but here is my two cents.
Personally I love the idea, your FI is on to something.
My cousin had her wedding reception a pizza and keg sit down dinner. IT WAS AWESOME.
They had like a bartender so there was beer and wine, no other liqour, and then the pizza was all set up buffett style with other bits of food and salads, and it was buffett and sit down dinner.
I would much MUCH MUCH rather have pizza then rubber chicken at 80 bucks a plate.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it's not. Just becuase it is pizza, doesn't mean it has to be sloppy. Have a keg but more of a bar setup, and decorate the plaze and have the pizza nicely set up so it is casual food in an elegant setting. That would be a compromise.
And it is wayy more budget friendly, and I bet you your guests would like it more.
I FIGGEN LOVED IT.
@KatNYC2011: This idea sounds great. I think having beer and wine with some bbq type foods would be perfect for a backyard party.
Well personally I wouldn't serve pizza and a keg for a casual pool party in my backyard, so I definitely would not consider it for a post-elopement reception, but that's just me and I love entertaining and planning menus, etc. That said I've been to several really fun and casual "backyard" wedding receptions that didn't cost a fortune and people wore shorts and flip flops (just without pizza or kegs). So I'm not averse to the idea of a casual backyard cookout, just not one that feels like a college frat party!
I love the Younghouselove wedding: http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/, to me it is the perfect balance of young, casual, fun and elegant. Maybe show him that you can do something like that for under $5K, In my experience dudes have trouble visualizing the end product, so showing him examples of what you are thinking will get you further than just explaining it to him!
@UnionFlare: One of the nicest weddings I've been to had a self-serve keg - it was under a tent, next to the ocean. The keg stands didn't start until Grandma, Grandpa, and Great Aunt Tilly went to bed.
@MissHighHeel: Whew! Thank you for posting this! This sounds like the reception I am planning. My FI and I absolutely love pizza and beer, so that's what we decided our menu should be! Its going to be at a golf club patio with beautiful views and nice tables and linen but still casual and laid back.
Thanks for making me feel better. I was getting worried with this thread, as well as a rehearsal dinner thread where everyone was saying "just have pizza and beer". I was thinking... uh.. can't do that... that's my reception menu!
I agree with PP's... go with it! We had this whole classy thing planned and I hated every aspect of it. DH suggested a pig roast and kegs and I was so over it I was like you betcha. We got beer cans and bottles of wine and just served it in those nice plastic cups, I didn't like the idea of my grandfather pouring from a keg or the mess of beer that would get all over the ground. We got the pig from a local farm and sides from a local barbecue place. Everyone loved the food, we set up an ipod with nice speakers and people danced, mingled, played lawn games etc.
It was sooooooo fun and laid back, and really not much trouble to plan. Best of all our whole wedding budget (ceremony and attired included) was about 10,000 and we only spent 6. Everyone had an absolute blast, and celebrating is really what it's all about right? It's kind of cool that your husband has input and would like to keep it low key and fun. Use some of his opinions and believe me, he'll be so much more helpful and you'll be surprised how great some of his ideas are!
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We're not engaged yet but soon to be and since we plan on having a relatively short engagement and elopement soon to follow we were throwing around ideas for a dinner or light party with family when we get back from elopement/honeymoon.
My guy shocked me when he said "what if we just had a bunch of our friends and family over in the summer - got some pizza and set up a keg."
Yea, Honey, Let's do just that. I'll have loads of fun explaining to my grandmother what your friends are doing while someone hangs you buy your ankles over that oversized tin can you call a keg. SIGN ME UP!
I looked at him bug-eyed. Then he accused (gently, accused, he wasn't being malicious really) me of either wanting some big 50K grand affair or nothing at all - as if I'm too prideful to just eat pizza with people. I said if he wanted a pizza party - go for it - it's called a Bachelor party, but I'm not having my name branded on that party as a wedding reception of any sort. Call me a snob - I don't care.
I am considering it though as our elopement will be fairly expensive. We're most likely getting married and staying at this place www.pawsupresort.com and it's not cheap. I'm getting the elopement I want...should I just give him the newlywed homecoming party he wants? Please keep in mind that his mother (FMIL) would probably hit him over the head with a frying pan if he told her the idea so he would be getting resistance on all sides. I never realized how much of a guy my guy was.