Can I tell her no?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Uhhmmm yes.

Post # 4
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@dreamer1288:  You can say no. Maybe something like, “You know, I’ve thought about it, and I really appreciate that you didn’t want me to feel left out, but I’d really love to just come to the wedding as a guest and be able to focus on enjoying your special day.”

Post # 5
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@dreamer1288:  I honestly would explain that you would rather not do that. Bridesmaids get to decline, why shouldn’t you? And it doesn’t seem like you she finds you close enough to want you to be there for her the whole day. 

Post # 6
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Just tell her you’d rather appreciate attending as a guest.

Post # 7
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dreamer1288:  It’s definitely ok to politely say no. Also (if you are ok with doing it but not with buying a dress) it’s to say you’re not in a position to buy a matching dress so you can’t do it.

Post # 8
6788 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Is this a thing?? I’ve never heard of it! I would politely decline and say you would rather enjoy the reception alongside your family and not fret over the book.

Post # 10
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d give her a smack. That should give her my answer. 

Post # 11
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm I definitely wouldn’t do that. 

Post # 12
3010 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park

I would definitely say no to her! That is such a throw-away title. I would either tell her

  1. I’ll just enjoy as a guest
  2. or offer to be a personal attendant.

Post # 13
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah, that’s obnoxious. I’d tell her no.

Post # 14
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah no thanks. Tell her you appreciate her offer but you don’t feel discluded by not doing something and you’d rather attend as a guest and just enjoy her wedding. 

Post # 15
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I might consider hanging out by the guest book, but I surely would NOT be doing it in an expensive bridesmaid’s dress.


Wait.  Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t want to attend a guestbook no matter what my attire.


Tell her no.  It’s okay.

Post # 16
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Another vote for decline.  Sounds incredibly lame.

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