Can I tell her no?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Uhhmmm yes.

Post # 4
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@dreamer1288:  You can say no. Maybe something like, “You know, I’ve thought about it, and I really appreciate that you didn’t want me to feel left out, but I’d really love to just come to the wedding as a guest and be able to focus on enjoying your special day.”

Post # 5
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@dreamer1288:  I honestly would explain that you would rather not do that. Bridesmaids get to decline, why shouldn’t you? And it doesn’t seem like you she finds you close enough to want you to be there for her the whole day. 

Post # 6
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Just tell her you’d rather appreciate attending as a guest.

Post # 7
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dreamer1288:  It’s definitely ok to politely say no. Also (if you are ok with doing it but not with buying a dress) it’s to say you’re not in a position to buy a matching dress so you can’t do it.

Post # 8
Member
6865 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Is this a thing?? I’ve never heard of it! I would politely decline and say you would rather enjoy the reception alongside your family and not fret over the book.

Post # 10
Member
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d give her a smack. That should give her my answer. 

Post # 11
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm I definitely wouldn’t do that. 

Post # 12
Hostess
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park

I would definitely say no to her! That is such a throw-away title. I would either tell her

  1. I’ll just enjoy as a guest
  2. or offer to be a personal attendant.

Post # 13
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah, that’s obnoxious. I’d tell her no.

Post # 14
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah no thanks. Tell her you appreciate her offer but you don’t feel discluded by not doing something and you’d rather attend as a guest and just enjoy her wedding. 

Post # 15
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I might consider hanging out by the guest book, but I surely would NOT be doing it in an expensive bridesmaid’s dress.

 

Wait.  Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t want to attend a guestbook no matter what my attire.

 

Tell her no.  It’s okay.

Post # 16
Member
1969 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Another vote for decline.  Sounds incredibly lame.

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