Can I tell her no?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3143 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Uhhmmm yes.

Post # 4
2757 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@dreamer1288:  You can say no. Maybe something like, “You know, I’ve thought about it, and I really appreciate that you didn’t want me to feel left out, but I’d really love to just come to the wedding as a guest and be able to focus on enjoying your special day.”

Post # 5
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@dreamer1288:  I honestly would explain that you would rather not do that. Bridesmaids get to decline, why shouldn’t you? And it doesn’t seem like you she finds you close enough to want you to be there for her the whole day. 

Post # 6
8924 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Just tell her you’d rather appreciate attending as a guest.

Post # 7
7726 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@dreamer1288:  It’s definitely ok to politely say no. Also (if you are ok with doing it but not with buying a dress) it’s to say you’re not in a position to buy a matching dress so you can’t do it.

Post # 8
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

Is this a thing?? I’ve never heard of it! I would politely decline and say you would rather enjoy the reception alongside your family and not fret over the book.

Post # 10
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d give her a smack. That should give her my answer. 

Post # 11
10457 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ummm I definitely wouldn’t do that. 

Post # 12
3335 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Virmond Park

I would definitely say no to her! That is such a throw-away title. I would either tell her

  1. I’ll just enjoy as a guest
  2. or offer to be a personal attendant.

Post # 13
12263 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yeah, that’s obnoxious. I’d tell her no.

Post # 14
5664 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yeah no thanks. Tell her you appreciate her offer but you don’t feel discluded by not doing something and you’d rather attend as a guest and just enjoy her wedding. 

Post # 15
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I might consider hanging out by the guest book, but I surely would NOT be doing it in an expensive bridesmaid’s dress.


Wait.  Who am I kidding?  I wouldn’t want to attend a guestbook no matter what my attire.


Tell her no.  It’s okay.

Post # 16
2005 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Another vote for decline.  Sounds incredibly lame.

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