- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I really really don’t care for it. I hate that it’s so impersonal, that you can’t read the “tone” and that it can be hidden.
With that said, if you’re engaged do you think you have more of a leg to stand on (for lack of better words) to ask to see the texts?
My Fiance had been talking to this girl before we became a couple, they talked for hours and hours, and text back forth all day everyday. He said he was only friends, but only this weekend admitted that he knew she wanted and hoped for more from him. They never met in person, this is a reunion via text and facebook, they went to grade school together.
I’ve repeadtedly told him how uncomfortable I am with him texting her, although he hardly ever initiates the text. Since the beginning of our relationship the amount of texts has dropped substantially, a few times a week for an hour or two. he did stop when I ask but it started back up, and he thought not telling me was better than me getting mad about it. I told him the texting makes me mad, but you hiding it makes me furiously livid, which do you prefer? We had another argument about it this weekend, and this is the only thing we argue about. We are a happy couple. But she burns my @ss. I guess it’s because she thinks she can persuade him to her, but it isn’t happening. I trust him and I know he’s not saying anything wrong to her, but I don’t trust her. I don’t think she’s innocent. Does that make sense?
He hasn’t told her we’re engaged yet, I told him he better let her know or I will do it. He has hid these conversations from me after I ask him to stop. In his eyes they’re innocent, but I know she has hope. He told me all they talk about is her boyfriends (and trust me she has a lot.), I told him that’s her way of trying to make you jealous. He said, maybe but she is the jealous one. his exact words “were that women is jealous of YOU. You because I love you, I didn’t have to make a decision between the two of you because it was only you and always will be only you”.
Well he left for work the next day, he’s an engineer for the railroad so when he goes to work he’s gone for 2-3 days. She initiated more texts after he left and for a span of 4 hours (9pm – 1am) they sent about 25 texts each. When he comes back home I would very much like to say show me the texts and the proof that you told her we’re getting married.
If I do that am I crossing a line? I know they’re talking because we have a shared cell plan and I can see the call and text log. I have never looked at his phone, only the records when I first noticed the repeat name.
I’m a firm believer in not having one-sided friendships, if she wants to be friends with him then she has to be friends with us.