Post # 1
I’m 5months pregnant and I’m really thankful my stepmother has offered to throw me a shower since no one has stepped up to do it. I’m not real close with my sister or mom, and my best friend can’t afford it. They both know I’m pregnant with my first child, but haven’t talked to me in months. Anyway my stepmother has suggested a shower at a restaurant which has a buffet on sundays but no private room or much room to open gifts or mingle. So we would just be in booths like regular guests. I feel like she is just thinking of a lunch wit the girls kinda thing. But when I think of a baby shower I think of it in a home, clubhouse, or private party room….so I thinking of just either doing it myself, or gently suggesting something else. This restruant too is 45 mins away from everyone, so its really only conveient to her. I dunno am I being a brat or if she just wants something easy…please help.
Post # 3
Honestly, I would leave it as is. If she asks for your input, you could tell her your reservations about it, but I don’t think anyone’s entitled to a shower, and, if she’s the only one offering to host it, she gets to call the shots. Sorry.
That said, the one thing I think you could mention is that guests will have to travel far. Do you know of a clubhouse that is more convenient for guests that you could possibly suggest? If she declines your idea, I think you just have to suck it up or go without a shower.
Post # 4
I know people have done it but I’m not a fan. It’s considered rude to throw your own bridal shower so I think it’s kind of rude to throw your own baby shower. Why don’t you suggest an alternative venue to your step mother? Explain to her that the restaurant isn’t really event appropriate and provide her with a short list of places that are. I see no problem with being involved but hosting it yourself will come off as a gift grab (which showers are regardless, but still).
Post # 5
Thanks for the ideas…I will definatly do this.
Post # 6
Before I read the other responses I was going to say to definately through your own as I don’t think it would be rude at all, but I come from another country, and am unfamilier with American etiquette.
If it is considered rude to through your own, let your stepmum through it but suggest somewhere closer and offer to help, so u dont seem ungreatfull.
Post # 7
You shouldn’t throw your own shower, and I would just go with what your stepmom plans. It’s really nice of her to do it, and there is no way you can suggest another plan without being ungrateful. You may have a picture of your ideal shower in your head, but it is her party to throw for you – and any shower is better than no shower. Couldn’t the restaurant put together a large table for your party, like any other large group?
Post # 8
im sorry but ummmm… i have to disagree with the other bees… im ALL for throwing your own baby shower. what is so rude about having things done the way you want them? ::shrugs:: if u have a vision in your head then u should be the 1 to make it happen… maybe im biased because im throwing my own as well =) i love and appreciate my BFF for offering but i know that her financial situation is tight and her condo just wont be able 2 accomodate our friends and family… throw your own!
Post # 9
All I’m going to say is that I don’t think you should do something you’re not interested in. There’s no way a friend or other family member that could throw a shower at their house, but you help with food, drinks, etc?
Post # 10
Honestly, I’ve never been to a baby shower, or been invited to one, where the pregnant woman didn’t send the invites herself so it stands to reason that she probably planned most of the thing.
Post # 11
suggest something else, offer to use YOUR house but dont have it thrown by yourself!
Post # 12
I would keep your stepmom involved to keep up the appearance of her throwing the shower because people can get so petty about brides/mothers throwing their own (which I don’t understand b/c, like PP, mentioned it is a gift grab either way). I would offer to help her financially and take on a lot of the responsibilities, that way you can have a bigger say without seeming rude/ungrateful. I would still list her as who is throwing the shower on the invites. Best of both worlds.
Post # 13
@futuremrsoloyede: Um, becuase you’re asking people to shower you with gifts? I have no issue with the mom-to-be being involved but I’ve been invited to showers where the guest of honor was also the host and sadly, the fact that she threw the soire herself was more the topic of conversation than the baby she was brewing.
Post # 14
futuremrsoloyede i agree with you 100%….these days you can throw your own shower and stuff…evrything you said makes sense, also having it kinda like a party, or a club whatever the bigger the better becasue you get more gifts..no one cares who throws it, they just want to go and dance, eat and that’s really what people care about these days…
Post # 15
@Romantigua: Ok. Couple things…
1. No baby shower I have ever attended involved dancing.
2. Having it be “bigger” just to get more gifts is pretty terrible.
3. People most certainly do care who throws it, especially when they know that the host is also the mom or bride to be. Maybe this flies in certain circles but it doesn’t in mine.
Post # 16
I like the idea of suggesting an alternate venue that’s a little closer for everyone. Or even offering up your home if you’re up to it.
I guess ultimately my question is why you want the shower? For the gifts or more for the celebration? If its more for the celebration you can always host a Sip N See after the baby arrives. Those are totally appropriate to be thrown by yourself! Or you can always host a casual get together and not call it a Baby Shower?
The other thing is maybe your friends and family are not planners and think they still have plenty of time? Which they do.
What does your husband think? Does he think maybe anyone on his side might want to host? Siblings, aunts?