- Mrs. Gremmlin
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
Before I begin, this has nothing to do with them getting married– I’m thrilled for them. I don’t even care about comparisons– weddings are beautiful celebrations, and that’s all they should be. This is about how I feel like the black sheep and don’t understand why I am.
FI and I have stable, good jobs. We have a family of furkids. We take care of ourselves and love each other deeply. We were together five years before we got engaged and are having a year long engagement. We’re paying for our wedding and are happy to do so. Is it a little bit of a challenge? Sure, but we’re proud of ourselves. Now we know we can save to meet all of our goals– a house in threeish years (after the wedding), here we come! We’re happy, is my point, and have made our lives everything we want them to be.
I have a small family, and I don’t speak to my mother- she’s not invited. He has a large family, most of them are coming.
We had originally planned a small 20 person ceremony, but we changed our minds so that both of our families and friends could celebrate with us… because that’s what we want to do- celebrate.
Enter the wedding. We announced our engagement and both sides were thrilled. My family was supportive, his was too. It was a great thing. Now, though… my family may not even come and won’t talk to me about it. They just give me wishy washy responses, if I get a response.
I thought they’d be happier, maybe even care.
Enter in second couple in the family, just got engaged, apparently had an engagement party (I wasn’t invited), picked a date, and has some big time wedding planner. A lightbulb goes off… oh, their wishywashy about mine because they’re focusing on hers (they must have known about the proposal in advance). The whole damn family, save for my own dad and sibling, can’t give my wedding the time of day– or even commit to attending– but they can throw a party and start planning the other one as a team effort? And the families are totally paying for that one? Because the couple doesn’t have jobs and hasn’t been independent ever?
A bride only gets one day… so why is mine being shunned? I feel totally tossed aside and ignored and unloved. I feel like I wasn’t even good enough to be invited to a party that was apparently just family… so I’m not family now?
Our wedding will be wonderful. We are proud of our planning and our ability to do it ourselves.
I wish I could uninvite them, just so I won’t be so hurt when they don’t show up. At least then it would be my decision…
I thought writing this would make me feel better… seeing the words makes me feel even worse. Great way start my work day. This sucks. No advice needed really… just venting…
Anyone else have problem families?