Post # 1
I designed my own dress and had it made for me for my 1st wedding. I wore it only for the ceremony and changed into a different dress for the reception. I have had it boxed and safely stored and love it (not because of what it symbolized…obviously, that marriage ended) but because I designed it and it’s gorgeous…looks great on me. I am now engaged to be married a 2nd time around and clearly, we will be footing the bill ourselves. We don’t have a lot to work with and I don’t want to purchase a big price tag dress. What I’d really love to do is wear my original dress again. My fiance is fine with it, I’m fine with it, don’t think others will even remember it unless they go back and look at pictures from more than a decade ago from my 1st wedding. Is it WRONG to wear it again? In my opinion, it’s a dress, I invested in it, chose it because I love it, wear all of my other items of clothing more than once, etc….what are you thoughts?
Post # 3
Asking whether something is “wrong” can be confusing. Wrong according to what system of principles, or to whose morals? I’m not aware of any etiquette rule that states that you can’t wear the dress again. I say if it’s what you want and you’re certain that FI is completely okay with it, then go for it. The only warning I would offer is that you might get some backlash from unexpected sources, like your mother and friends, so be sure to have a conversation with them to make sure they’re on board with your decision. Enjoy your wonderful dress, in an event that you’ll really want to remember this time.
Post # 4
Are you sure your fiance is 100% ok with it?
If he is and you’re sure you’re ok with it (and that nobody else will notice), then by all means!
If he’s just saying he’s ok with it but he’s not 100% ok with it… I dunno, you may want to look into bartering your dress at a consignment store or something.
Post # 5
have you ever thought of altering it just a bit to make it different? Otherwise as long as he is OK with it, i say go for it!
Post # 6
personally, i would not be comfortable at all with that. but it’s not me who has to wear it, so if you’re ok with it, than go ahead! although i’m also a strong believer in the fact that it’s your wedding day, you deserve a new dress! even if it’s not a super expensive dress.
Post # 7
Since you designed it yourself, change some details on it. If it has capped sleeves,cut those off and make it sleevless, or if it has a straight neckline,change it into a sweetheart neckline,etc etc. I personally wouldn’t wear it again,but if you’re worried financially,then go for it. But I would def. make it your own again.
Post # 8
What I’m wondering is: are YOU ok with it? Because, I feel that if you really really were, then you wouldn’t be wondering and asking if it’s wrong, right? Just a thought… I think if you are ok and you FI is ok, well go for it. I would probably try to modify it a little – since you designed it, maybe you could work from there to make it a little different; that way you incorporate the past and make a new one for the future kind of thing…
Post # 9
i agree with osakagrl…not knowing what the dress looks like is hard to say, but maybe changing or adding something to the dress would make it special for this time? but i think as long as the 2 of you are ok with it, why not?
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2010 - The Chesapeake Bay Beach Club
Are there any simple alterations you can do to make the dress look a little different? If you and your fiance are truly 100% ok with it, then do what makes you most comfortable. You can always keep an eye on the $99 sales at David’s Bridal too, maybe? Or I like Mr. Bee’s suggestion of bartering it somewhere? I guess it would make me feel a little weird, but I also understand it from your perspective, and it’s completely your choice!
Post # 11
That’s a great idea about doing some minor alterations! Or you could maybe add a colored sash or add some colored shoes or something…
Post # 12
If you’re sure that your fiancee is 100% fine with it, and if you’re sure that even if some of the guests remember and voice a negative opinion about it either to you or behind your back it won’t bother you at all, then do wear it. But if you have any doubts about it, I’d say go for something different. I had the same dilemma when I first got engaged, I loved my dress from my previous wedding and to this day nothing I tried on matches how good it looked on me. However my fiancee was not comfortable with me wearing that again, said it would make him feel slighted, so I bought a different one. I also like the idea of bartering or selling that dress to help with the cash situation.
Post # 13
Wow! Thanks for all the fast feedback…the power of the internet. I appreciate all of your comments and, as we sit here reading them together, aren’t even sure what we’re going to do as far as the wedding itself; formal vs. informal. If we go the more formal route, in which case I’d need a wedding dress, making some changes to mine is completely doable, or adding color as mrbee suggested. I like that idea. We are both totally fine with me wearing it again, just don’t know what the etiquette is for a 2nd wedding all the way around….not just related to the dress issue. Every girl dreams of what her weddin will be like and I had that the first time around, thanks to my parents. No girl however, plans what her 2nd wedding will be like, and I guess that is the overall struggle. I appreciate all of your above thoughts and comments.
Post # 14
I think changing it is also a great idea! Just simple alterations here and there to make it look a little different. I like Mr.Bee’s idea of using a colored sash!
Post # 15
i would suggesting altering it at the very least. if its full length, could tea length suit your wedding? if strapless, add something
personally i do think its slightly bad form to be wearing the same wedding dress for your second wedding but then again, you dont need to advertise that to the guests and hopefully no one will notice
Post # 16
I think that if you’re both okay with it, then you should go ahead and wear it again. Have a nice discussion with your fiance, and think it through yourself, but if you love it and you’re both fine with it, I see no reason not to wear it again- especially since there’s been such a long time gap (you might feel differently if you’d just worn it, say, 2 years ago).