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Obviously 19-20 and younger is young. But happens when you get to the 23's-26? is that still considered young? Or is being young tied to one's degree status? Does graduating from college and going to grad school or going right into the work-force absolve one from being "young"?
Maybe 25 is the cut-off for a more "appropriate' age to wed?
Not being snarky but really interested in how people are defining young cause I've read posts that say that 20-29 should be used for finding oneself before marriage; but 27-29 cant' possibly be young.
I think it depends somewhat on where you live as to how you see what is too young...My brother got married last year at the age of 25 and I considered that YOUNG..he lives in Florida. I live in NYC and I am getting married next year at age 33....I feel like people could consider me old but in NYC its really just average - most of my friends and people I know don't get married in their mid twenties...something about city living ...
Ooh, good question! I think 23 and younger is "young" for a bride. I'm 23 and have only just started getting to a point where my friends are getting engaged and married and it's not quite as much of a "OMG you're getting MARRIED?!" reaction as opposed to a "Yay! Congratulations" reaction. I'm certainly happy for younger brides than myself and know quite a few brides or wives that are younger than me (or got married younger than me and are now in very happy marriages) but yeah, I think my personal "cut-off point" is 23.
Also, I'd just like to point out that I never went to university or college. I started working professionally when I was 18 in the career I still have now. I don't think how long you've been working or if you're still a student makes any difference to being classified as a young bride.
I think, as it's been said in other posts, that some of the social acceptance comes from how long the couple has dated - so a 21 year old bride who's been dating someone for 5 years is more acceptable than a 21 year old bride who's been dating someone for 5 months. Then again maturity is a different thing for every person so who are we to judge, really?
Not a bad question. I don't know if I consider my FI and I "young" although perhaps we are, or at least, I am. At 23 I am a college graduate and career oriented and have been for 2 years. so... needless to say I feel like I'm pretty much living a very adult lifestyle. I am financially independent, I live away from home in the apartment FI and I share, we have a dog--- so lots of responsibilities.
I'm not sure... Perhaps its different for everyone? For me I stopped feeling like a "young" woman once the responsibilities were piled on, but I'm sure there are Bees who still live at home and are financially dependent but who feel like they are grown enough to start considering marriage-- so yeah! To each their own?
Lauren is completely correct! It depends so much on where you live. I was raised on the East Coast (Boston) and NO ONE I know is married yet. FI and I live in the midwest now, and so many of our friends are married. We are 24. My family thought we were marrying cause I was pregnant or something! Our friends expected us to marry a year or so ago! Region makes a huge difference.
I live in Maine, and I have heard from a lot of my friends and a few family members that Mr. Library and I (both age 24 when the wedding rolls around) are young to get married. One of my friends, who is also getting married, is the same age and her mother almost had a fit to learn she was getting married in her 20s. I guess it depends on where you are, but if you know this person is who you are supposed to marry, then you know.
I think it depends on the person. how much you feel like you shouldve accomplished before getting married.
like... what if you know a 21 year old who has already graduated from college and has a nice stable job and feels like the next step is marriage with her boyfriend? that is how i define a young bride
@ snake that is what i meant. im also 23 and i moved out when i was 18 and i have been a full function responsible adult since that time so even at 21 when i was with my now husband i was ready for marriage
Well, I consider young more of a developmental thing than actual age. For example, someone who hasn't experienced adult life yet. People still in college, totally naive to how things are going to change once they graduate and enter the real world are too young to me. Or someone college age working full time but still living at home might qualify. I think in order to be 'old enough' you've got to be a real adult and know yourself. For the most part, that means older than 25 but it's not always the case.
I have no idea, I'm 26 and I get told I'm too young! lol
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Good point about regional variation. I'm from NYC, and yeah, people i know aren't really getting married under 27 like that.
Totally agree with the regional thing...I'm 28 (FI is 33) and we're in NYC. Not one of my friends is married. A few of his are.
I think it really does depend on where you live. We will be 23/25 when we get married, and thats normal. I guess to me, for where i live, anything under 21 is "young". I don't think college has anything to do with it. I am still in college, but have lived a "grown up" life. And my cousin was in college until she was in her 30's! So when you graduate college isn't really a factor in if you are ready to get married or not (plus, a lot of people don't go to college!)
I agree with littlemissmoo. Not really many of my friends are getting married, but for people we don't know, we sometimes get the WOW factor. It depends on the relationship & where you live & your personality. I think we would have been ready for marriage anytime, but because of the fact we were in high school when we started dating, we weren't really able because our parents would have said we were too young. The only way we aren't ready is financially, but when I get a job that'll work out :)
My SO's family is from VA, So for him getting married at 31 is a little old. They would make comments like, "he is never getting married."
I agree with studentbride ,I do think it is a personal thing and not the number at all. Especially if a family member says it to you.
Having been married once before at age 20, people would always so, "so young!" and needles to say they were righ, both nuber-wise and maturity!!! I was completely clueless and there was no way to convince me otherwise.
Now I am 27 and will be 28 for the wedding. I guess some could consider that young. Anyhow, my SO and I are one of those rare couples that you can see the deep love for one another. We fit perfect together. This time around, nothing but postive comments and blessings from everyone. My father is so proud of him.
I really think you should listen to loved ones if they have some comments, but if it's jealous frenemies or strangers, don't worry about being called a "young bride" or "too young."
I am 25 and will be 26 when I get married and I don't think that's particularly young. However I'm the first of my college friends to get married, so perhaps it is young to some. My little sister is 24 and also engaged and I don't think she's "young" either. Perhaps it simply boils down to a maturity or "readiness" thing. I know some people who seem too young at 30! (And conversely, some who at 22 seem quite "old enough.")
A woman I know who got married in her late 30s told me I was getting married young (I'll be 29, he is 5 yrs older than me)... I guess it's all relative. In my mind, once you are 26+ you aren't really "young" anymore - not old yet, but not young enough to raise an eyebrow.
I'm 27. People in NYC, where I live, think I'm young to be getting married. People in Georgia, where I'm from, think I'm practically an old maid.
I think it's kind of relative. Like, if your still in school (undergrad) and getting married... that's young. lol. I think people should at least be on their feet as far as a career path and with earning potential, not student loan potential.
That being said, in SLC and the LDS church, getting married at 18 or 19 is considered normal... so, it's all relative and also cultural I think.
I'm on the verge of 26 and think that at mid 24 I was ready.
I don't consider us being young. Even though I was 21 when we got married and he was 22. We are both very mature for our ages. We did get a lot of 'You're getting married?' instead of 'Congrats, that''s so exciting' from people that don't know us personally though. We were together for 6 years before getting married and engaged for 3 of thos years so it wasn't a rushed decision at all. So as I've said before, I think it depends on the person and their situation.
The older you get the more relative the word "young" becomes...some people get married and start a family. WIth many women in the workforce, childbearing is happening later than say 10 years ago. Many of my friends are having their first children in their 30's.
I just got married after being with the love of my life for over 01 years...didn't see that coming, but it was amazing. I'm 38. SUrround yourself with the right people, and getting married will be about love, friends,and celebration.
Perspective on what "young" is really does change with time.
I'm 23 and I think LOTS of people consider that young. I graduated at 22, lived by myself for a year, my husband spent 15 months in Iraq and 4 years in the military. If anybody wants to tell me I made a snap decision, have at it. I've lived my "single" years. But, I would have been happy waiting a couple more years to get married, too. I'm one of those kinds of people--I don't *need* to get married to be 100% happy and fulfilled in a relationship. I was OK living with him, unmarried, but in the end, we wanted to get married. Luckily i don't have to deal with the stigmas of being 'only' 23 very much. Nobody ever believes me when i tell them i'm 23...i get ballparked for 26, 27 all the time.
I'm from Califronia--everyone i knew from back home is like "OMG YOU'RE MARRIED?!" like it's some crazy notion...but here in Missouri, it's 100% normal to be married at 22 right after you graduate. People frown upon living together without being married here and most of the time people do what their parents want. Me, i don't care =]
I agree with moderndaisy, I think it has to do with life experience. I think in most cases (though there are always exceptions) I don't think someone who is 18 or 19 is probably ready for marriage, because in both those cases you are possibly still living with your parents or haven't been on your own for all that long.
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, but do not expect a proposal for another 2 or 3. We are both 21 right now, and he will be graduating college next December, and I will graduate a year after that. We both agree that we would like to be stable in our careers before we get married. I think that is generally why 23/24 is a good age to start considering marriage, because whether you have attended college or not, that is probably at the point in your life where you have found stability.
But with saying all that, there are couples who are stable and ready at 20, and couples who won't be stable and ready until they are 30. So as everyone else has said, it really does depend on the individual.
It's impossible to define. A young bride could be anyone! The implication with being a "young bride" is that you aren't ready to get married, which is so often not the case that the bridal age brackets fall apart when you look closely. Everyone deals with the same stuff, just at different times.
Ultimately, I won't tell people what they should or shouldn't be in order to get married, and that includes what age is the "appropriate" age to marry.
I will be 22 when I am married and the FI will be 24. We are from the Midwest and I really don't think of us as "young". Yes we are "younger" than some, but we both will have graduated college and will have stable jobs when we are married. I think the more rural settings tend to be married younger than urban settings.
I think the concept of 'young' really depends on the person. Age wise, my FI and I are both 22, but when we got engaged, no one commented on how young we were. I think it depends more on maturity? People have always told me (both those who are older than me as well as younger) tell me how much they respect how mature our relationship is. As far as traditional markers of being 'old' go though, we haven't quite made it. We're getting married two days before graduation... and don't know where we'll be afterward yet. We're not quite financially independent as we don't have 'real' jobs. We know that there will be lots of challenges ahead... but we want to face them together.
With all that in mind... I guess its hard to define what a young bride is. It really just depends on the person. And the era- the average age to get married keeps rising!
I also think it's a cultural thing. I'm 26 and my parents have been asking when I was going to get married since I was 23. Now when I go back to Asia and people hear that I'm married, the first question is "how old are you?" followed by "mmm...yeah, it's about time. You're kind of old."
I also think it's a cultural thing. I'm 26 and my parents have been asking when I was going to get married since I was 23. Now when I go back to Asia and people hear that I'm married, the first question is "how old are you?" followed by "mmm...yeah, it's about time. You're kind of old."
I think it is a cultural thing also!
My friends are only now starting to get engaged and married and we are all 26/27 and I don't know anyone who got married before they were 25 and so anything under 25 (in my circles) is considered to be young!
But I understand that this is COMPLETELY different in other places.
I agree that it depends A LOT on where you're from. I'll be 25 when we get married, he will be 24. I we were 22 and 23 when we got engaged, and got a lot of "too young" flack. It was suprising to me, actually.
I think it depends on region and/or religion. I grew up in a small suburb and was raised Christian. Several of my friends from high school were very religious, and ended up getting married right out of HS, and no one thought it was weird.
Now, I live in a big city without any religious influence in my life, and all our friends think 25 and 26 are too young to be married.
I'm 20 and from Northern Washington. 95% of Everyone I know is married, engaged, has kids....Talking seriously about marraige. My 18 year old cousin is married with a baby already. My school also had a few russians who quit at 16 so they could get married and have a baby because it was part of their religion.
Too young:
No career,
No education to support yourself (high school, BA, MA,etc is fine as long as it's something with earning power so if something happens you aren't left on your butt not knowing what to do)
Haven't lived alone- This is just a personal preference of mine. A person needs to have lived alone at some point because THEY will have paid all the bills.
Those are the biggies for me. Especially the education part. My cousin married a high school dropout. Who is a dropout at the age of 19 in 2010? I understand the old days to help with the farm, but not today. I mean really, she had a kid, but went to a special school and could have graduated, she just chose not to. NOT a good decision.
Sorry for the rant. LMAO
I definitely think it is relative. And to me there is a difference between somebody saying I am young, and somebody saying I am too young. I am 20 years old, but I have never been told that I was too young by anyone that knows me. I was legally emancipated at 16, but started living on my own at fifteen, I have my associates degree and am a year away from my BA, but most importantly, my FH and I have been together for 4 years, almost 5 by the time we are married. I don't really mind when people say I'm young though, most often I just assume that they don't really know the circumstances.
it's an interesting question- I'm 26 and got married two weeks ago - and to some extent I feel young to be married. On the other hand, my husband and I had dated through college, dated seriously after college, and lived apart for two years while I got my masters degree. Our parents were expecting us to get married a lot sooner than we did!
At the end of the day, I agree with several other posters that a "Too-young" bride is one who can't financially take care of herself, whereas a "Young" bride is defined by where you are.
23 and under are young, IMO. Young doesn't equal bad, it is just its own thing. There are special challenges for young brides, but there are definitely special challenges for "middle" brides (24-32?) and "older" brides (33+?). 20 year olds almost never have to worry about the ins and outs of marital property, or set in their ways spouses, or constant baby pressure, or crows feet on their wedding day (I am open to all advice in this area).
to answer your quesiton.. up north - 25 and under is young. down south, under 21? This is for ladies. Guys I feel need to be older. 27 and under up north for guys, 24 and under down south for guys.
this is my opinion, but age isn't a good indicator alone. I feel like one must have educated themselves (4 year degree, or professional/trade school, something likethat), be able to live on your own with a job out of your parents' house, have own bills, etc to be able to consider marriage. If you can live your own life, even if you're 19, then you may be mature enough for marriage. If you're 19 and living in a dorm at school and in your puffy pink bedroom at your mom's and never held a job, maybe you should give it a few years. Personally, I think that I'm mature enough, but at 26 still pretty young to be married.
I grew up in the midwest, and most of my friends from there (who are my age) are already having kids -- but I feel as though J and I are marrying rather young! We'll be 26/27 when we get married. I never expected to get married before 30, and if it weren't for the distance factor, we'd never consider getting married so young as it is.
But everyone is different - heck, I don't think most of my friends consider us to be marrying young, but WE do. I think it's a matter of your mindset and when you expected/want to get married, as well as the other life choices you make.
We'll be 30(me)/34(him) when we get married next week. Half our friends are married, half aren't. I definitely agree that region plays a big part in marital age. We're in NYC and late 20s-early 30s seems to be the norm here... FH is from OR & when our engagement announcement was in the paper, we were the two old farts on the page! Every other announcement was like "the bride is a 2006 graduate of XYZ High" or the "the groom is a 2007 graduate of XYZ high". Ha, I felt ANCIENT to see 1997 listed for myself and 1993 listed for FH! I was like, oh, boy these other brides were in diapers!
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