Post # 1
I am super excited- but everyone I know just rolls there eyes at me and isn’t happy for me (except my mom).
I HAVE GREAT NEWS!
My SO’s ex wife has FINALLY gotten ALL OF HER STUFF out of his house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the past 7 months I have been staring at her clothes in the closet (she has gained 30 lbs and “didn’t feel” like coming and getting them) and her craft stuff in the extra room (she doesn’t do scrapbooking anymore) and her pictures in the office. Now they are ALL GONE!
The papers were finally done and my SO told her she has to get all of her stuff out because he wants me to feel more comfortable and be able to move some stuff into the closet.
I have been waiting 7 LONG MONTHS for this day and I am so happy. Yes, the house is very empty…she took everything except the couch a few chairs and the furniture he made (yes she took 3 tvs, 3 christmas trees…just very vindictive because he is getting the house…that has been in his family for 50 years but she wanted).
yes, he felt “raped” at first…and yes, I felt a huge sense of loss the first time I walked through the house. divorce is a horrible thing and I never thought that I would feel so much empathy towards *both* of them in the situation…but I do. I would never wish this situation on ANYONE and I definately pray that I never have to go through the splitting of assets like this.
anyway he woke up yesterday morning excited for the fresh start and ready to start our life together without all her crap around.
Someone please be happy for me! My friends all just tell me how stupid I was for getting involved with a separated man who was not divorced in the first place and no one cares that she moved all her stuff out- yes I have shitty friends.
Anyway I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh- and the locks are getting changed next week *yay*
Post # 3
@Tatertot2003: That sounds like a very complicated situation. It’s great that the two of you can have a fresh start. I am glad that you are so happy 🙂 I hope it positively transitions into your relationship and you two are even happier in “your” house. I’m sure it will feel more that way with her stuff gone!
Post # 4
[comment moderated for trolling]
Post # 5
I agree with @feufighter:. This is sad. I’m not sure if it’s just how it’s coming off, but I feel very, very sorry for the ex.
I hope you and your SO can begin again fresh. And I hope that you find positivity in each other.
Post # 6
@Tatertot2003: I’ll be happy with you my husband wasn’t divorced yet either when we moved in together so I get where you’re coming from! 🙂
Post # 7
That’s wonderful! So happy for you that you guys can start fresh 🙂 Do you mind if I send you a private message?
Post # 8
@Tatertot2003: Im happy youre happy 🙂 YAY!! Although if I were you locks would have gotten changed the moment she drove away lol
Post # 9
@Thatonegirl171: Thanks! Send away!
@feufighter: I understand that I have not told the whole story here…and I can understand how bad people will feel for his ex wife. The truth is she spent the majority of their marriage spending late nights with men she worked with and telling everyone who would listen how much she did not want to be with him. SHE moved out over a month before I met him. We met each other, he realized he didn’t need to be treated so poorly and asked her for a divorce. She did not want the divorce at first (not because of him- but because of what divorce means in their social circle and she was enjoying having her separated “time off” dating other men- he made the decision that knowing she was dating other people was enough for him to know he could never be back with her again), but now she has a boyfriend, has no desire to ever be with him again and just hadn’t gotten her stuff out. No kids (another HUGE issue-he wanted them, she decided she didnt, then found out she couldnt-but 2 dog kids that are causing issues).
It is very sad, I feel awful for my boyfriend…he definitely is feeling a huge sense of loss over pretty much everything he has purchased in teh past 10 years walking out the door…but for him to keep the heirloom house…which is on his family’s (which his father, uncle and he own and work) farm…was much more important than any item in the house.
He is not upset about loosing her- he is upset that he waisted so much of his life unhappy.
Post # 11
@jigga143: I agree! He as been throwing around changing the locks for a few months…but he didn’t want to make her mad while the paper work was getting drawn up- she never had a retirement started so she could have taken half of his… and gotten 150k for half of the house…his niceness/letting her get what she wanted out of the house which drove me CRAZY for months actually resulted in her only taking 20k of retirement (could have taken 60k) and only 70k for the house.
kindness counts in this situation!
ETA: Financially no need to feel sorry for her- she makes 120k, is getting 90k from him and we live in a small, country town so 120k is like being a millioniare…she literally can do whatever she wants whenever she wants. She is happy…we are happy (other than we really wish she had left us one of the three tvs! haha)
Post # 12
@Tatertot2003: Fresh start! I’m happy for you 🙂
Post # 14
@Tatertot2003: I’m happy for you and for you 2 to have a fresh new start. Takes a strong woman to be with someone who is not divorced (I couldnt do it), but congrats to you and I wish you the best 🙂
Post # 15
@Tatertot2003: OMG you have NO idea how deeply I relate to this. It would take me a week to tell you…just KNOW THAT I KNOW how happy you are. It feels good to know that you’re not alone, that those feelings are real, and yes, you are understood!!!!
And the people that don’t get it never will because they’ve never been there.
And good for you OP that you admit you can feel empathy for the first wife. Many of us have no reasons WHATSOEVER to feel any….and whilst surrounded by her stuff could only feel rage.
Post # 16
It sounds like a fresh start was needed!
Take a look around before you start filling it up, it’s easier to paint with less stuff if you decide to make that change.