Post # 1
Mr. Library and I are from two different religious backgrounds: Catholic for him and Protestant for me. We’re having our wedding ceremony outside, which isn’t a big deal for Protestants, but apparently it is against Catholic rules. In order for it to be recognized by the Catholic church, our priest is having us come back to him after our honeymoon and be blessed in his church to make it official.
Has anyone ever done this before? What’s the ceremony like? Would it be okay for me to wear a strapless or spaghetti strap dress to this?
Post # 3
i haven’t been to one myself but from what i’ve gathered it’s like a shortened mass with no communion. i havent heard it just called a “blessing” though so i would check with the priest to see what exactly he means. normally you have 2 options: 1) full mass with wedding ceremony or 2) just the wedding ceremony part. it’s much shorter than the full mass and comprises of basically the first half of a standard mass.
as for the strapless or spaghetti strapped dress. i would check with the priest with that. mine said he didnt care as long as the dress wasnt tacky looking. i had a friend though that after she bought her strapless dress the priest told her he would not marry them. she ended up getting one of the jacket things to put on her shoulders and it ended up looking cute but it was just a REAL pain.
basically i would call the priest and ask him.
Post # 4
@ Ms. Library – first off, we’re date twins! Second, my FI and I are in the exact same situation. I’m Protestant, he’s Catholic. I’m not converting, so we’re doing a non-denomenational Christian ceremony. I’m no expert, but when I looked into the possibility of Catholic ceremonies where one partner was a non-Catholic, everything I could find involved the non-Catholic partner agreeing to abide by all Catholic teachings regarding kids – as in making them (or avoiding making them) and promising to raise them Catholic. We decided that wasn’t the right choice for us, so we’re not doing any Catholic ceremony. I just wanted to throw it out there, because if that is a condition of your ceremony, you’d probably want to know beforehand so you and your FI could decide if that’s right for you. And on the flip side, if you’ve found a ceremony where that isn’t a condition, I’d love to know about it! We’re doing everything we can to honor each others religions, while still being true to our own beliefs, and if there’s something I missed, I’d be happy to learn more about it.
Post # 5
I think its called a “convalidation.” It’s not really another wedding ceremony. From what I understand, it’s just a “renewal of vows,” but one done inside the church. And since you’ll have just gotten married a week or so before, it’ll be fun to be able to say it again!
I wouldn’t wear a strapless dress. Since it’s not a wedding, you probably wouldn’t be dressed as formally and so a strapless dress might be out of place. Most Catholic churches don’t have rules about what to wear, but check with your priest or parish secretary.
ChiChat – my priest never asked me that! In fact, I know a priest who told my aunt (who is Lutheran) that if something ever happened to my uncle (Catholic), she should have them raised Lutheran because it’d be better for the kids to be raised in a faith lovingly than begrudgingly. Talk to your priest if you’re really interested. The point (that I’ve always heard, anyway) is that you are agreeing to care for your children’s spiritual welfare, and to be intentional in it.
Post # 6
The priest who said that about raising the kids Lutheran is really skating on thin ice! That’s the kind of stuff annulments are made of! The whole point of getting married in the Catholic Church is to promise God that the new family being formed will be faithful. To the Church, it doesn’t make logical sense why you would want to be married by the Catholics and then not want to bring up your kids Catholic.
Post # 7
Thanks so much for all of the advice! The priest we are having is amazing, and I feel completely comfortable with him. He has said that there is no requirement to raise any future children in the Catholic church, only in the love of God. That is something I can totally agree to! He’s very liberal (he got kicked out of one of his parishes because the bishop found out he supported LGBTQ marches) and matches many of my ideals. We love him a lot!
Right now I am thinking of getting a cute summer dress and, if it happens to be strapless, I’ll just throw a bolero jacket or sweater over it to cover my shoulders. That should be okay, right?
Post # 8
I’ve never been to a convalidation ceremony before (in fact, had not even heard of it until fairly recently). FI and I are considering a civil ceremony first and then a convalidation…maybe.
Anyway, I found the following description of a convalidation helpful.