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can the groom attend the bridal shower?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
  • poll: bridal showers for females only?
    female thing only no men allowed : (6 votes)
    17 %
    a Co-ED thing men can come too : (10 votes)
    29 %
    set your own trend times are changing : (19 votes)
    54 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee
    pat291    July 17, 2011   canada

    what are your thoughts on this? what have some of you already married bees done? what do you others plan on doing? I read a article http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/rehearsal-dinner/qa/should-the-groom-attend-bridal-shower.aspx?MsdVisit=1 and the brought up the ideas of a CO-ED couple's shower. To be honest I never really understood the ladies only at the bridal shower because it is our wedding and I feel like he should be involed in all aspects of it and besides I thought the bachelor and bachelorette parties were for the hang with my gals and hang with my boys thing so then why the females only bridal shower?

    Dont know times are changing because I have been to so many coed baby showers.

     
    2.
    Member
    1,575 posts
    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    You can do a co-ed shower, but the men will probably be bored! The traditional reason for a shower was to do something nice for the bride and shower her with gifts.

    My FI and his Dad showed up at the end of my shower. They chatted with guests and then helped me take presents to the car. Before that, they were playing 9 holes of golf and didn't want to attend the whole shower.

     
    3.
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    3,319 posts
    Sugar bee
    mishelleez    November 5, 2010   DW- Bahamas

    FH didnt want anything to do with the shower, its a BRIDAL shower not a bride & groom shower.

    I have been to a few Jack & Jill showers. But I like the all girl showers better. Its more fun and you get to do girly stuff. Most men want nothing to do with a shower and would be bored outa their minds.

     
    4.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    My FI, my dad and my FFIL came to our shower. They thought they'd be bored (and joked about leaving to go play pool) but afterwards, J told me how much fun he'd had.

    It was both of our families, and 70% of the guests were his cousins and aunts, whom I'd never met before, plus I HATE being the center of attention. My aunts (who planned the shower) knew the guys would be there, and did gender neutral games - totally fine by me, since I'm not a big fan of TP Bride anyway!

    It went great, and I can't imagine how awkward/uncomfortable it would have been for me had he not been there.

     
    5.
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    451 posts
    Helper bee
    Superstitions    July 25, 2009   TX

    We had a co-ed shower, and it was actually a lot of fun. It was a murder mystery game, and everyone got to go around questioning suspects. There was an all dessert buffet centered around one of my favorite mystery series. Everyone was telling me how much they loved it.

     
    6.
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    Bee
    1,927 posts
    Buzzing bee
    starfish    October 2010   Newport/Boston

    Mr. S came to both Bridal showers, but they were only women other than him, which is normal in my area. People in Jersey thought it was strange that he came. But in both of our areas we've seen co-ed showers, which is totally becoming more popular.

     
    7.
    Member
    260 posts
    Helper bee
    dearmissie    July 1, 2011   Bay Area, CA

    We're def. doing a co-ed shower. So many great guys in our families, they're such a hoot at parties it wouldn't be the same without them. Plus FFIL loves parties and felt left out the festivities at FBIL's Fiancee's bridal shower which was only for girls. I don't want anyone to feel left out. We love everyone and want to include everyone in the festivities!!

     
    8.
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee
    NYE Gal    December 31, 2010   Ontario

    I don't know one guy who honestly wants to go to a wedding shower.  Females only for mine, and for most of my friends.

     
    9.
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    DollyLava      

    My shower guests were only women  but my FI ate lunch with us and opened presents. He spent the rest of the time in the restaurant's bar watching a baseball game on TV. 

     
    10.
    Member
    1,997 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bloodgo1    May 14, 2010   Royal Oak

    For us the guests were all women, but my husband did come after lunch to sit down and open all of the presents with me. I'm really glad he did though, it was nice to have him there and I think a lot of the people were glad he could come too (like the people from his side of the family). Plus, man would it have been overwhelming to open those gifts on my own!

     
    11.
    Hostess
    7,271 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    I attended a shower once where the groom was present just to play a "Newlywed Game" type of thing. Other than that, he hid in the basement with the bride's dad. :)

     
    12.
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    583 posts
    Busy bee
    brady3537    September 4, 2011  

    First off yes, the groom can go, but I believe then it would be considered a wedding shower. A bridal shower is typically held for the bride. The quest list will include her girl friends and family (females). A wedding shower is held for both the bride and the groom and guests from both sexes are invited. This guest list can include family or friends of either the bride or groom.  

    However, I dont know of any men that would look forward to or want to go to a wedding shower, that's why I think its best to keep it a girl thing.  If you really want him to be included, why don't you ask him if he would like to come.  If so, then you can have him come for a little while (like to open gifts).

     
    13.
    Hostess
    7,632 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    MightySapphire      

    My family would laugh at the whole "girls only" thing.  It's never been that way in our family.  The men are always invited.  They just choose not to come.  But by being invited they know exactly when they will all be free to go do something fun with each other.  It's typically a male bonding moment for the hubby-to-be.

     

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