Post # 1
I am expecting my 2nd child this coming up March. While my husband and I are over the moon about this I’m feeling a little guilty. 2 years ago I had my son. While my pregnancy was a huge shock, everyone was very excited and was very generous with the gift giving and the 3 baby showers I was thrown. Then when I had my son unexpectedly 2 months early due to extreme complications I had so much support and attention that got us through.
Once everything with our sons health and my health subsided, my hubby and I finally got to throw our wedding and get married. Once again we had a very excited family who was at every shower and was very attention giving up until the day of the wedding.
Now we are 5 months past the wedding and having another baby. I’m starting to feel a little guilty about doing all these big life changes in such a short time. My aunt who has the biggest heart in the world wants to throw me another baby shower and once again invite the entire family. While I know everyone would do it again, I really just want to keep this pregnancy very low key. I already have alot of things from when my son was a baby and I plan on just buying whatever is needed. I’m trying to go about this in the nicest way possible without hurting feelings.
Is there any other newlyweds and soon to be parents out there that kinda feel the same guilt????
Post # 3
Please don’t think you are having too many events too close together.
2 years ago you had your son, 19 months later you had your wedding, and 10 months after the wedding you will have your next baby.
I think many couples would have a wedding and children in that time frame.
While I acknowledge your desire to keep things low key, it probably brings much pleasure to your friends and family to celebrate these events in your life with you.
Post # 4
I think it is totally understandable how you feel. Personally, if I was in your shoes, I would decline a shower too and it is ok to do so. Many people do showers for each child but some also feel that is unnecessary. I would only want a shower for my first child and that is it.
Post # 5
maybe in lieu of a baby shower you ask any family members who wish to buy you a gift, to give the funds they would’ve spent on a gift to some sort of charity that’s important to you and your family.
Post # 6
I think so – I declined wedding shower offers, just be gracious and appreciative.
Post # 7
I’d just let you aunt know that you’d like to keep this pregnancy low-key, maybe you don’t need all the baby stuff if you still have it from your first?
If she insists and you just aren’t up to arguing with her you could always ask for a no-gift shower or something like a diaper shower.
I’m not a shower fan so I let me mom. MIL + SIL know I’d prefer not to have a baby shower pretty soon after we told them we were expecting. Not only did we just have a wedding a year ago, but our family is pretty spread out geographically and baby is due in late Jan. so timing just sucks. I think it’s perfectly ok to decline a shower, for any reason!
Post # 8
Maybe say no to a shower, but yes to a family get together? That way you can have it be a no present, no money spending thing, but still give your aunt a chance to host everyone and celebrate the new baby, which seems like her intent.
Post # 9
@Miss Peach Tree: I concur- let them have the party mut maybe skip the gifts!