- 8 years ago
So, this might be long…. sorry in advance. I’ll try to be succinct!
FI and I set our wedding date about 16 months in advance (April/May last year). Initially we mention the date to some family to determine their willingness to go (wedding’s in a different city). It turns out my cousin, who I haven’t seen in at least 10 years (our families aren’t close), is also engaged. Jan or Feb of this year, my cousin and his FI set their date for the exact same day as ours. Our mutual aunt had warned them that they should check to see what our date is before they set theirs… but they didn’t (or they just didn’t care, which is what I assumed).
My parents thought it was weird, but weren’t hugely upset. My aunt probably felt torn in making her decision, but ultimately decided to go to mine. (The weddings are in completely different cities, so only one or the other can be attended.) My aunt might have told her that we were more organized…
My cousin’s mom got kind of pissy and was like, ‘Well if we’d known about your wedding date…’ (Uh, you kind of did know…) and ‘She’s just so stressed out right now, but I told her a lot of the family is probably already going to bug-in-a-rug’s wedding’.
The cousin’s FI (let’s call her ‘Jenny’) sent me an invitation to her wedding 5 months in advance of our wedding date.
My cousin’s mom just sent my mom an email asking if she’d like to co-ordinate a joint shower for me and Jenny. We live in different cities 3 hours apart. Edited clip from email: “I thought that would be a good way for Jenny to meet family and bug-in-a-rug; as it seems Cousin and Jenny can’t afford to invite many people and obviously have a conflict with the two weddings.” (Please note, my family is not rich at all, and FI and I are paying for our wedding completely on our own. If anything, my cousin’s family lives like they are the wealthier ones.)
I’m not sure if my cousin’s family is feeling slighted or left out or what, but it seems like weird behaviour to me.
I was just wondering what you guys thought! Is my cousin’s mom trying to be nice or is there some weird undertone of …. I don’t know what?
‘Jenny’, if you’re reading this, no harm meant by this post!