Can you ever really be 100% *ready* for a baby?

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@roweboat:  No. LoL any person who has a baby will tell you that. 

I can’t wait to have a baby. I want to be done with school before I have one, but I want one now LoL

Post # 4
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@roweboat:  From my experience you can NEVER be 100% sure. Being open minded and ready for a new challenge is what made us go for it:)

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

my mother told me that nobody is ever 100% ready. no matter what, there will always be something that derails the plans. you’ll never have enough money, or enough time, or any of that. it’s just one of those things that you have to jump into, and hope for the best.

i think you can be ready, but never 100%.

Post # 6
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@roweboat:  From what everyone keeps telling me, you can never be 100% ready. I keep hearing the same thing over and over… “If you wait for the perfect time to have kids, you’ll be waiting forever”.

With that being said, we are waiting until we are officially married (common law at the moment), I’m finished school (round 2 in post-secondary), and we have house renos finished before we TTC. We may never be 100% ready but I’d like to have as much in place as possible before we dive in.

Post # 7
Member
4587 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@PermaStudent:  That’s what my mom always told me re: waiting forever for it to be the perfect time.

It definitely wasn’t the perfect time for us and I did NOT feel fully ready but we went for it anyway once I turned 29 (I want to be done having babies by 35).

It’s an enormous adjustment and nothing anyone tells you will really help you understand just how much becoming a mother changes you. That said, I wouldn’t give my daughter up for anything. Parenting is hard work but her smile makes everything worth it.

Post # 8
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@roweboat:  I agree you can never be 100% ready. But you’ve been married less than a year, which seems a bit soon, especially if you’re still in your 20s. (I had my first at 29).

Post # 9
Hostess
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@Holly77:  This x 1,0000!!! My DH and I keep going from feeling completely ready to so far from feeling ready. I guess it is just time to jump in with both feet and taking it as it comes.

Post # 10
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@roweboat:  Surprisingly FI has been hinting that he would like to start trying right after we get married. We sat down and had a talk about “preparedness” and what it all came down to was the fact that no one is ever truly ready to be a parent, financially, mentally, physically and you just have to figure out which is most important to you because they rarely all coincide. In fact about 4 years ago his father told us that if you waited until the perfect time to do anything in life you would never get anything done so if you want to do just do it (and this was in the context of marriage and children.)

Post # 11
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nope never 100% ready. I warred with myself for quite a while to just get to the point where I am TTC. There isnt a day I’m not second guessing myself!

Post # 12
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I SHOULD NOT have read this thread, it’s making me want to open up the “baby timeline” conversation with FI which always ends in argument. He wants a house and my career underway. I agree I should have more of a career, but I’m happy to rent for a few years before buying. 🙁 it’s a war I won’t be winning and it makes me really upset to think about. 

Post # 13
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

No one can be 100% sure because most people realize children are life ruiners.

 

In a nice way.

Post # 14
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@colorofmyheart:  +100.

We’re ready to start trying next year, likely on our honeymoon next spring.

Post # 15
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lealorali:  HAHAHAHA I love this post.

I know I can never be 100% ready… and with my issues, that definitely means I’m just not going to have any.

I’ve said before, that if I ever really were in the “perfect situation” – meaning no debt, FH bringing in near six digits by himself, me not working, and a good location, I’d start to maybe think about it.

But that’s never gonna happen, it’s just not where our lives are headed, and I just know myself and know I could never handle it under less than 100% right conditions and the idea of even trying to makes me shudder. I look at average, not-100%-condtions parents and I sort of see them as like… superhuman almost. Very admirable. But I try to picture myself in that position and I see myself joyless and falling to pieces. Nope, that “never 100% ready” thing means I am CBC.

Post # 16
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I know that there’s no such thing as being 100% ready, but I do think that is smart to wait until you’re ready in some ways. For example, i wouldn’t dream of having a baby if I can’t afford daycare, if I live somewhere without a baby room, if my career is still on its early phases or if my husband is still attending school. (He went back this year)

 

I agree that you have to work around it, but in your husband’s case I think that he’s not ready. Maybe you are, but you can’t be ready as a couple if 50% of said couple is not willing to do some things. Why not wait until he says “yes, I absolutely want to have kids now”?

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