- Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble
@bubblybride33: If you do it with a VERY good sense of control, and joint money management, yes you can do it. My BFF and I met around the same time, both Marine wives. She was working and making $10/HR and he was an E3 @ 3 years(he was about to get out, so about normal for his MOS).
My then-H, was an E2 @ 2 years(who’d recently been busted down, without my knowledge-long story). I wasn’t working as I’d literally JUST moved there. But, she got me on with her, making $9/HR.
WE learned, bringing in about $1100/mo on our own(IDR offhand), that the guys thought WE could pay the bills(living in base housing), while they blew “their” money. No, No, No. Just, STAHP!
So, we both quit. Our other friend/neighbor, was a SAHM with a 6 mo old. BFF had a then 3 year old, and I had no kids. We were all able to stay home(we were dumb with joint accounts, b/c we’d deposit money, and they’d take it out asap!). The neighbor’s husband was an E2 with barely over a year. They did struggle, b/c he spent money(sometimes on women). But we 2 older girls would help, by taking turns “feeding the herd” LOL. We always had her do our pasta or taco nights, and one of us would take the bigger meal loads.
I break it down like this, based on the pay of my XH E2/3 years(right after we’d married).
Net pay-$1300.00+$262 BAS
Cable-$80(internet and TV)
Phones-$150(2 lines, Sprint when they were still Nextel actually. Saved with the D2C thing)
Groceries-$300(he often took lunch, or if he had duty, I’d cook up something for them, so it raised our food costs. Not bad, considering I’d fed 10+ guys at once several times a month!)
Car Insurance-$150(2 cars, full coverage on both)
Car Payments-$575.00(for 2, 1 brand new, 1 used)
Gas-$150 Est.(when I wasn’t working, around $200 when I was, 1 fill up each car, per week)
Vehicle Maint-$30(car washes, wiper blades etc. Not a monthly thing, but still)
$127-Left over(usually bowling, or movies)
So you can see, that my income was considered the bill paying money(except our cars came out on allotment). he’d withdraw as much as possible($400 back then w/NFCU), and then use his card to bottom his account, leaving me hanging in the balance with bounced insurance, Commisary purchases, C6 purchases. Aside from cheating, HTG financial was our issue.
You have to be smart with the money. If not, you’re screwed. But, when I quit work, I took his debit card from him. I got tired of ALL the money being gone, and I couldn’t afford freaking scrubs for work! which worked, b/c his 1st Sgt knew our issues, and supported my decision. The night he got paid, I’d go fill his car up, and give him $20 for lunch. Most days he was home by 11, so no need to buy lunch. If he actually needed his card, I’d make him bring me back a receipt, and I would also log online to make sure if he wasn’t sneaking money.