Post # 1
I realize the wedding date my fiance and I picked is a little unconventional. We picked Tuesday, 5/5/2015 because we don’t want to be rushed on a weekend. Since it is a destination wedding, I need to meet with the florist, caterer, bakery and of course we have to get our wedding license before we get married. We thought it would be nice to take some time to relax and have some fun with our friends the weekend before the wedding craziness begins. We already have deposit on a large house so most of our friends can stay with us and we are paying for this.
When we announced the date to a couple of our close friends, one of them automatically asks me to make sure it isn’t on her payroll Tuesday. After we calculated that it isn’t, she has once again asked me to move it to move it to accommodate her dauther and son-in-law’s off Friday, so they won’t have to take as much time off of work. They are close friends of mine as well – who had told me they were planning a trip to Tahoe in 2015 anyway. She said they would rather go up Wednesday and us have the wedding on the weekend. But I don’t understand why it is different, if they take off Mon-Wed instead of Wed-Fri??
My brother also asked me to move it to June so he could make a family vacation out of it. However, we also purposely had it before kids were out of school, because we aren’t having any at the wedding. Plus, he and my SIL are only people who have them and my poor teenage nephews would be bored out of their mind with all of us adults.
I can’t imagine what people with large weddings go through. We are trying to have less than 20 people at our wedding. My fiance and I are about to tell them we are just going to elope and we will grab a couple of other close friends and my parents and do it without them.
Post # 2
Mrs.Madore: After awhile you just have to take the plunge and go with the date you want. We’re having a small wedding on a Thursday afternoon and though we worked to clear the date with everyone at a certain point you just have to say ‘screw it’ we’re going to be married on the date we want.
Post # 3
so weird that people are asking you to move the date but a tuesday is a bit different.
i selected our date with my DH and my mother. that was all i consulted. we put the deposit down.
then i asked my bridesmaids. 2 of them had an annual activity that they participate it but skipped it that year to be apart of my wedding.
if you want that tuesday, stick to your guns and hope people will come around if they want to celebrate with you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Make your plans, tell people, and if they can’t come, they can’t come.
Post # 5
I am going through the exact same thing, my FI and I are getting married in the DR in August and we’ve had complaints already too. I understand the location and date don’t work for everyone, however, we made the decision for multiple reasons, and it’s our decision ultimately. My FI said this is their problem, not our problem, and if they can’t come, we’re sad about that, but we’re still getting married. I would just say, “I absolutely understand that this may not work for your schedule, however, this is the decision we made, and we completely understand if you can’t make it. ” That’s what we’ve been saying and people immediately backpedal and say, no we’ll be there, that’s not what I meant, etc. Good luck!
Post # 6
Mrs.Madore: Pick your date and stick to it. I think your plans sound wonderful. Those who want to be there will make it happen!
Post # 7
Mrs.Madore: When you choose something inconvenient for others you’ll catch some flack. It’s ok, just more forward with your plan and let people know that you aren’t goign to change things but certainly won’t hold it against them if they can’t make it.
I had a DW in Mexico where all the guests came for a full week and my wedding was on a Thursday. I was super thankful to anyone who was able to take the time and money to make the trip, but was always careful to be gracious to those who decided to decline. Vacation time is precious.
Post # 8
I mean…I can’t imagine that it’s easy for people to just take off time in the middle of the week to attend a DW. It’s hard enough to take time off to go on a weekend. Your reasoning doesn’t make sense…you want time to relax before the wedding and don’t want to be rushed on a weekend? Why don’t you just rent the house the week before and if people can come up early, great.
For such a small wedding you should really be more considerate of people’s schedules. If people are telling you they can’t make it because of the date, why don’t you have it on a Friday or Saturday?
Post # 9
sarals24 – The people I am talking about were going to take the same amount of time off if I had it on a weekend or if I had it during the week. She just prefers to take Wed, Thr, Fri off instead of Mon, Tue, Wed. I made sure it didn’t interfere with her busy Tuesday already. And if they can’t make it, I do understand. I am not going to be upset if they don’t go.
Also, with most people planning to leave on Wednesday, I can have a short honeymoon with my husband.
Post # 10
sarals24: eh disagree. If ppl considered everybody’s feelings all the time, they would never be able to get married bec nothing would ever get agreed upon, settled, or completed. DWs r no different just because of the number of guests or the location.
OP, there has to be a line drawn somewhere and it’s possible u could twist ur wedding all up to satisfy other ppl and they might not even attend. Which is almost what happened to me. U plan the wedding u want, the way u want it .
Post # 11
Agree with the previous posters, it’s your day, so if other people can’t make it, oh well.
Although I do want to say, it’s easier for most people to take off Wed – Fri than Mon – Wed. Monday is the start of the work week, which usually means its often the busiest day of the week for most workers after coming back on a weekend.
Post # 12
They will be there if they want to be there. It is the date you and your SO picked and it is plenty of time for everyone that wants to go to plan to go. If you start moving your date around to accomate people, there will be someone else that gets hurt feelings because you can’t have it when they want you to have it. Tell them it is 5/5/15 and that’s it.