(Closed) Can you please check out my invitation wording? :)

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

One change I can see is…

 

on Saturday the 4th of May, 2013, at 5.00pm, at
Our Lady of Lourdes Chapel, Ghajnsielem, Gozo, Malta

 

Post # 5
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee

Third person wording — where you talk about yourselves your guests as if neither of you were there — is inherently a highly formal form. When you use the words “we” and “you”, but otherwise maintain the high-formal wording, you are creating an inconsist signal to guests that renders ambiguous whether you want to be formal or not. Many people use a form nearly identical to what you have used, and consider it very formal.

The more correct informal form is to use natural direct wording, as if you were writing a personal letter:

Mary and John,

We, Irene ***** and Adam *****, will exchange vows and celebrate our marriage on Saturday 4 May in Gozo, Malta. The ceremony will be at 5:00 at Our Lady of Lourdes Chapel, Ghajnsielem. A celebration with dinner, drinks and dancing will follow at Kempinski Hotel San Lawrenz. We, and our parents, hope you will come and share our joy and support our love.

Irene and Adam

That being said, the faux-formal style you have used is quite common and won’t do any harm if that is what you want to stick with. You don’t need the “pm” after 5:00 because only a ninny would think your ceremony might be at five o’clock in the morning! You don’t need the 2013 since 4 May 2012 is passed, and you should send the invitations out in sufficient time that no-one thinks you want them to plan thirteen or fourteen months in advance. Repeating “Gozo, Malta” seems clunky: you should be able to find a wording where you need only state that once.

But as far as functionality goes, what you have written provides all the essential information and should not offend anyone.

 

Post # 6
Member
45395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can leave out the word at both times it is used.

Post # 7
Member
45395 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

double post

 

Post # 8
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would say:

“Our Lady of Lourdes Chapel

Ghajnsielem, Gozo, Malta”

In other words take it to two separate lines.  Same for the reception info.  Just my opinion though.

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