Post # 1
Looking to get some opinions on whether or not it would be rude to ask guests, via our wedding website, to refrain from wearing black and/or white to our wedding. I know this may sound like an odd request–which I agree it certainly is–but would it be rude? Thoughts?
Post # 3
Yes, it would be pretty rude. You really can’t tell people what or what not to wear, unless it’s a matter of “black tie”!
Post # 4
White doesn’t seem unreasonable (although it also doesn’t really need to be said I don’t think). Black does seem a bit unreasonable because a lot of people wear black suits or “little black dresses” and they might need to go buy new clothes if they can’t wear that. Is there a reason that you don’t want people to wear black?
Post # 5
Rude? Dunno. Weird? You betcha!
Post # 6
What’s your reasoning for not wanting black?
Post # 7
I’m thinking that stipulating what guests can wear might be a little off-putting to them. I absolutely understand why you don’t want them to wear white to the wedding, but why not black? I’ve been to several weddings where black has been worn and it wasn’t a huge deal. I think it’s more widely accepted to wear black to weddings now…
Post # 8
I think you will be putting added stress on yourself by asking people not to wear certain colors (esp. black)
I could just imagine you getting a hundred phone calls/emails saying why not?? And, “can I wear brown or this color or that?”
Seems like unnecessary stress to add to your plate 🙂
Post # 9
I don’t think it’s rude. It’s your day and I have seen a dozen wedding shows where the bride has made similar requests. I personally don’t know if I want people to wear black to my wedding because my BMs will be wearing black.
Post # 10
@AnnieAAA: I had to laugh at your reply. “I could just imagine you getting a hundred phone calls/emails saying why not?? And, “can I wear brown?”” made me totally crack up. I think you’re right.
We don’t really care for black and white. Color is so much more fun and warm and inviting. Black and white are just not our thing and don’t fit with the scheme of the day. We’re trying our best to make sure nothing is black or white at all.
We received an invitation from a friend for her wedding where it said, right on the invite, “Please join us in our special day in black and white cocktail attire.” So I was just curious if it was fine to say something to the opposite on the website (not important enough for the invite).
I guess I have my answer. 🙂 I don’t want to be rude! This is why I asked here.
Post # 11
If there are cultural reasons, then I think it’s okay to respectfully request. Other than that, yeah I think it would be a bit rude.
ETA: oop, just saw your post. Glad it’s all worked out!
Post # 12
@MissHelen: I’m glad you responded anyway. I like hearing the opinions of other people. It’s great to get a mixed reaction from strangers because sometimes your friends and fam will just say whatever they think you want to hear, right?
Post # 13
Why not say something about wearing color? Try to come up with a cute saying that suggests you want colored attire instead of saying not black and white. I can’t think of anything right now, but something that has to do with “wearing ___ ____ ___ in order to help brighten our day”.
I think your reasoning is great for not wanting black and white and telling your guests that instead of saying “please don’t wear black and white” would come off less rude. You still might get guests wearing black/white, but you might avoid those awkward phone calls about what’s aloud.
Post # 14
I think it’s a little too controlling and puts an extra bother on the guests. Plus you are going to get someone who doesn’t get the memo and will show up in black. And i am sure once there they would find out they weren’t suppose to and could be embarrassed!
Post # 15
I like SandDollar’s idea too! Something like, “Help to keep our day bright by wearing a bright color!”
I find that much less offensive than “Please refrain from wearing black or white.” Telling people what the can’t do tends to make them want to do that more. When you subtlely suggest them to do something instead, they’re more apt to do that.
Post # 16
It would be hilarious to show up after telling people not to wear those colors and see a sea of black dresses and suits at the ceremony.
I would laugh. 🙂
I have a pretty good sense of humor about everything and wouldn’t really care if people didn’t get the memo. But it would be nice to have a sea of bright faces and colors around the wedding. 🙂 My heart would soar to see all of my fam + friends in yellow, green, blue, purple, pink.. even grey! <3