(Closed) Can you tell him ANYTHING you feel/think without hesitation?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hmmm. FI have an interesting relationship.  We talk ALL the time, we’re totally best friends.  I tell him EVERYTHING, to the point where he’s like NOOOOO TMI! haha.  He’s not judgmental at all, and we certainly aren’t of each other.  BUT having said that we are both lawyers so we are comfortable with conflict and talk about EVERYTHING that is bothering us, so really there’s never any secrets.  Sometimes I envy those couples who NEVER fight, never snap at each other/bicker but my girlfriend is in one of those relationships where she says it is great on a day to day basis and they never fight but their arguments brew for months and then blow up when they do. So I really don’t know but my relationship is what it is and I love that I will truly be marrying my best best friend.  

Question – Are you guys engaged? That might be part of it.  I might have hestitated to voice concerns or tell him things (maybe) before we were really solid or engaged.  But I know he is not going anywhere.  And neither am I, so that might introduce some element of comfort.

Post # 4
Member
3068 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can tell my FI anything! I mean, anything! I can talk about girl problems, vernt about my coworkers, and he totally listens to everything I say and gived advice. I LOVE HIM!

Post # 5
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I tell my fh anything.  Even TMI stuff.  The stuff I hold back on is my little girly-girly obsessive stuff.  (Like finding the perfect pair of shoes to go with a new outfit even it it kills me).  That stuff I will text my friends about like a mad woman but keep it away from him. 

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d like to say I tell him everything and for the most part it is true but I guess there are things I keep to myself.  My husband has expressed that he doesn’t want to hear complaints about my job or people at my job.  He’s very black and white and so he thinks “oh she’s unhappy, she needs to leave”. 

To be honest though, ever since he said he doesn’t really like to hear complaints about that I’ve been happier.  I realized that just now.  I also keep some crazy thoughts to myself around my period.  That’s just not fair to him. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

DH and I talk about anything and everything. It’s really refreshing. And we’re both equally weird, so it’s not like anything one of us says will shock the other, lol.

Post # 8
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I tell FI everything and anything without hesitation, even TMI stuff lol

Post # 10
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Shirinjoon: Actually, I think it makes perfect sense.  Sometimes it is dangerous to voice EVERYTHING before you are engaged, because you never know! (Having said that you do want to know who you are marrying and vice versa).

Once you’re engaged or married, I’m sure things will change and you’ll be telling him all the TMI details just like the other engaged or married Bees who have posted above 🙂

Post # 11
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have known my husband since I was in Grade 9 and we started off as friends. I used to tell him everything and I mean EVERYTHINg (stuff about other boys lol) so it was weird when we became a couple because he knew so much embarrassing and personal stuff about me – but in the end its probably one of the biggest reasons that we fell in love and got married. To this day I still tell him everything!

Post # 12
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I tell my bf absolutely everything, especially TMI stuff.  He’s sooo curious about my body he wants to know everything and anything.  I love that he wants to know all of my feelings emotions.  I try to be careful ab0out over loading him though and ask him what he thinks so it’s not a one-sided convo.  But I know he loves that I’m sooo curious about him and his TMI as well, lol we are best friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. (neither of us have any other friends besides eachother)

Post # 14
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Nothing is off limits with us – we talk ALL the time.  My family jokes about how we’re not sick of each other.  We really are best friends.  We go to the same school, have the same major, and take all our classes together – wouldn’t have it any other way.  We really just enjoy being with each other and talk about  anything and everything without hesitation.

Post # 15
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Can I?  Or do I want to/feel it’s appropriate?

It’s interesting – the longer I’m with DH, the less I feel the need to tell him everything (as I might do a best girl-friend).  It’s not that I don’t feel like I CAN, but it’s less of a need to tell him the mundane things.  We do talk about emotional things – even when it’s not rational (like: insecurity, etc).

regarding your question:  I don’t think you need to share ALL your thoughts and feelings with your SO, but I do think you need to ask yourself why you are holding back.  You don’t want to feel like you have to filter certain things from him if they really are valid discussion points.  Can I ask what kinds of things you find yourself not discussing with him?

Post # 16
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yea I tell him everything.  What I have learned though after being with him for a while is that it’s all about WHEN I tell him…lol  Like for example, when he walks in the door and is exhausted from a hard day’s work, I can’t run up to the door and tell him about how I just got in a fight with my mom or about how I want to go to Paris and I looked up flights and they actually aren’t that expensive, bla bla bla.  Gotta let him chill a little bit and get some food in his stomach and he’s much more responsive/open to anything I have to say:)

 

 

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