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We threw our own. We live far away from all of our family, so we had an engagement party when we were visiting New York and a lot of family would be there. It was about 3 months after our engagement. We hosted lunch at a city restaurant for some family and friends and it was a lot of fun.
I have no idea what the rules are on this, but we didn't have one because it never came up and we felt uncomfortable throwing our own. I think it was an assumption we made that we shouldn't throw our own because all of the engagement parties we have been to were hosted by the couples families.
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I think you can probably host it yourself, if you phrase the invitation in a "come celebrate with us" kind of way. Also, we bee brides probably know that gifts are not obligatory, but you might want to indicate "no gifts" somehow on the invite, just in case people who are not in the the know think you are looking to fill out your registry. At least, that's what we will do if we end up having an e-party.
We did. We had it at a friend's house but provided all the food (barbeque) and beer ourselves, and specified no gifts. A couple of people brought us small presents anyway. It was a lot of fun and, since we didn't have any bridal party around at the time and had a super-long engagement (almost 2 years), it was the right thing for us to do.
My college roomate had an engagement party a year and a few months after she got engaged. She was a junior in college when she got engaged, and they had it after she graduated in the fall. So I don't it matters when you have an engagement party....as long as it is relative to how long your engagement is (her engagement was about 2 1/2 years).
As for throwing your own engagement party, I think that is fine! In fact, I will probably be doing it. I really want one, and obviously my parents haven't offered. Thats another story (I don't think they are completely pleased with my choice & I never was thrown parties even as a child). We got engaged in the end of August and will probably have our engagement party in May or June. We currently don't live in the same state, so I'm waiting for him to find a job down where I live and I want to have it outside. I think it is totally acceptable...!! I just wish my parents would throw us one! My friend that recent.y got engaged has had 2 - one by each side of parents. I'm so jealous!
We threw our own, and I'm certain that nobody thought it was improper. In fact, 2 years later people are still telling us how much they enjoyed the party!
Absolutely! No one knew we had gotten engaged yet when we invited friends over for a little casual get-together. We then SURPRISED them with the announcement. Very fun.
Yeah, we threw our own too. We got engaged in June and had an "engagement party" beginning of September. It was actually a BBQ at a local park. Of course, my mom bought lots of food and my sister and BIL helped cook the food. So, it's sort of like they threw the party too. I didn't even know that other family members were to throw the party until just now. ha ha. No one in our family members would've done it for us, I don't think.
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Since engagement parties aren't a gift giving occasion, I thijnk it is completely appropriate. As for time, as long as it isn't too close to your shower or wedding, I don't think it matters how long you wait.
Soemoen mentioned including no gifts on the invitation, I told my friends I felt awkward about gifts, so they said soemthing about our guests presence being the only gift. It was nicer, but I forget exactly what it said, I'll have to look it up.
Random comment - I have ready throughout all my wedding porn/books and here that engagements parties are non-gift giving parties. BUT, everything engagement party I have attend people bring gifts or they are expected!!! I don't get it. Do I just know too many selfish people?! haha
Has anyone else been to engagement parties where the couples have registered for them? My friend got almost everything on her registry at her engagement party...I can't imagine what she will register for her wedding!
Traditionally in my family, the engagement party is a non-gift-giving fun celebration that is thrown by the bride-to-be's parents.
My cousin got engaged a few years ago...his mom planned & hosted the engagement party WITH full caterers and everyone brought gifts...my mother was APPALLED (LOL)...oh and my aunt did NOT invite the b2b's parents even though they were going to be in our town that weekend....but she DID invite my parents who live 2000 miles away...ha hah!!!.... the marraige didn't even last a year....
One of my close friends had a huge, fancy engagement party hosted by her parents at their home last Fall. Not only did she register for the engagement party, but I actually overheard her mother talking about how many gifts she hoped she would receive. They had a huge tent set up outside their house with bartenders and servers and a video playing all night with their pictures. I'm going to be honest with you....I thought it was really alot of overkill. Everyone brought expensive gifts because I think they felt obligated. I had already bought her an engagement gift when she got engaged but I felt like i had to buy another one for the party. She has almost everything off her registry already. I just think it becomes overkill after awhile. I guess it's because my mother told me upfront when I got engaged that she didn't believe in engagement parties because it is one more excuse for people to buy you a gift. I totally support a casual get together but sometimes I just have a bad taste in my mouth after engagement parties. I know some people might disagree with me on this. it's just a personal preference.
my best friend had a registry set up for their engagement party and even (tackily enough) included registry cards with the dinner invite.she got tonnes of gifts but their wedding was 3 months later and they got 2 gifts and some cards.
i am refusing to do my registry until closer to the wedding date and we actually will have gifts at our engagement party because it wont really be an engagement party, we are announcing it at our annual christmas party in december, so the presents will be for everyone else hahah .
i think wine or a cute card is good for an engagement party
We sort of threw our own - sort of. I was graduating from grad school so wanted to have a get together. And FI and I went on a trip right before graduating where we got engaged. So we had already let people know we were having something for graduation but then more family made the trip for our low key get together and it turned into a bit bigger engagement event at our house. But it was a lot of fun and we had hosted a lot of get togethers at our house so people were used to coming over and celebrating something (such as the dog being neutered), so for us sort of low key worked to throw our own.
We had one, but it was a big family affair! Before my fiance proposed, my mother said that engagement parties were kind of unnecessary, especially with all the other parties like bridal showers and bachelorette parties, and I had to say that I kind of felt that way too. But after I got the ring, things changed. lol - mom started to gush about how exciting it was that we could plan an engagement party, and all of my bridesmaids were so excited about it, and we all got swept up in e-party mania!
This is also because we're planning on paying for the whole wedding ourselves, and therefore have a pretty long engagement planned (we're shooting for May 2011), a party to get the families together to meet and mingle and raise a cup of cheer felt like a great thing to throw a party for!
My parents rented out the back room of the local diner - the same diner that my father used to work at when he was in high school, and the diner that my friends and I practically LIVED in throughout our high school years - so perfect! We kept it to the immediate family and bridal party (so about 40 people), and my bridesmaids and I got to go crazy with the fun engagement party decorations and stuff - I saw it as good party-planning practice for the wedding!
If my parents hadn't offered to throw one, I think we would have hosted a small get together but it probably would have been at someone's home and on a smaller scale. I don't see anything wrong with it, parties are always fun! 
I say do it! Nothing says you can't.
However that being said, I know if we end up hosting our own engagement party on our dime, it will just be a cocktail party with appetizers b/c we're paying also 100 percent for our wedding. You gotta draw the line somewhere. No parents pay for us as we are older and all of it falls financially on us. Just have a very intimate yet elegant affair..my favorite kinds!
Throw your own! We're actually having two parties - One on each coast hosted by each set of parents. We did a barbeque and had a fantastic time! Since we live so far away from our families, we did ask both sets of parents to host something that would be "their party" so his parents did the barbeque and we got to see most of our old college friends, and my parents will throw a "meet the happy couple" party in May when we go out to visit them.
As for the gifts: Yes, I registered. Not specifically for any party, but because I knew I would have bridal showers and other parties throughout the fall so I didn't want to worry about it once school started. Yes, some people brought gifts to the engagement party but it was mostly family members who asked the groom's mom where we were registered.
Yep, we did! We got a few gifts, but nothing big. It wasn't about that, it was about "reminding" people that we were still engaged, since after all the fuss with graduating and moving into NYC (and it had been 9 months since we got engaged), we felt like the fact that we were getting married had sort of been forgotten. I say go for it!
We did! Of course no one knew what the real purpose was. We pretended it was just for an end of the summer bbq. But it was a great way to tell our friends and family the good news.
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This post is related to the "too late for an engagement party?" post. We're in a similar position as another couple--we'd like to have an engagement party, but (a) we need to wait a few months, as the timing isn't quite right at the moment, and (b) no one has brought it up really.
So I guess my questions are--how long after you get engaged is appropriate to have a party? Or how long is too long, I guess... And, can you throw your own engagement party, or should it be hosted by another person (if anyone offers, that is...)?
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