(Closed) Can you throw your own engagement party?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

We threw our own. We live far away from all of our family, so we had an engagement party when we were visiting New York and a lot of family would be there. It was about 3 months after our engagement. We hosted lunch at a city restaurant for some family and friends and it was a lot of fun.

Post # 4
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I have no idea what the rules are on this, but we didn’t have one because it never came up and we felt uncomfortable throwing our own.  I think it was an assumption we made that we shouldn’t throw our own because all of the engagement parties we have been to were hosted by the couples families. 

Post # 5
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I think you can probably host it yourself, if you phrase the invitation in a "come celebrate with us" kind of way.  Also, we bee brides probably know that gifts are not obligatory, but you might want to indicate "no gifts" somehow on the invite, just in case people who are not in the the know think you are looking to fill out your registry.  At least, that’s what we will do if we end up having an e-party. 

Post # 6
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We did. We had it at a friend’s house but provided all the food (barbeque) and beer ourselves, and specified no gifts. A couple of people brought us small presents anyway. It was a lot of fun and, since we didn’t have any bridal party around at the time and had a super-long engagement (almost 2 years), it was the right thing for us to do.

Post # 7
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My college roomate had an engagement party a year and a few months after she got engaged. She was a junior in college when she got engaged, and they had it after she graduated in the fall. So I don’t it matters when you have an engagement party….as long as it is relative to how long your engagement is (her engagement was about 2 1/2 years).

As for throwing your own engagement party, I think that is fine! In fact, I will probably be doing it. I really want one, and obviously my parents haven’t offered. Thats another story (I don’t think they are completely pleased with my choice & I never was thrown parties even as a child). We got engaged in the end of August and will probably have our engagement party in May or June. We currently don’t live in the same state, so I’m waiting for him to find a job down where I live and I want to have it outside. I think it is totally acceptable…!! I just wish my parents would throw us one! My friend that recent.y got engaged has had 2 – one by each side of parents. I’m so jealous!

Post # 8
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

We threw our own, and I’m certain that nobody thought it was improper. In fact, 2 years later people are still telling us how much they enjoyed the party!

Post # 9
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

Of course you can!

 

Post # 10
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2018 - Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana

Absolutely! No one knew we had gotten engaged yet when we invited friends over for a little casual get-together. We then SURPRISED them with the announcement. Very fun.

Post # 11
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Yeah, we threw our own too.  We got engaged in June and had an "engagement party" beginning of September.  It was actually a BBQ at a local park.  Of course, my mom bought lots of food and my sister and BIL helped cook the food.  So, it’s sort of like they threw the party too.  I didn’t even know that other family members were to throw the party until just now.  ha ha.  No one in our family members would’ve done it for us, I don’t think. 

Post # 12
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Since engagement parties aren’t a gift giving occasion, I thijnk it is completely appropriate. As for time, as long as it isn’t too close to your shower or wedding, I don’t think it matters how long you wait.

Soemoen mentioned including no gifts on the invitation, I told my friends I felt awkward about gifts, so they said soemthing about our guests presence being the only gift. It was nicer, but I forget exactly what it said, I’ll have to look it up.

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Random comment – I have ready throughout all my wedding porn/books and here that engagements parties are non-gift giving parties. BUT, everything engagement party I have attend people bring gifts or they are expected!!! I don’t get it. Do I just know too many selfish people?! haha

 Has anyone else been to engagement parties where the couples have registered for them? My friend got almost everything on her registry at her engagement party…I can’t imagine what she will register for her wedding! 

Post # 14
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

Traditionally in my family, the engagement party is a non-gift-giving fun celebration that is thrown by the bride-to-be’s parents.
My cousin got engaged a few years ago…his mom planned & hosted the engagement party WITH full caterers and everyone brought gifts…my mother was APPALLED (LOL)…oh and my aunt did NOT invite the b2b’s parents even though they were going to be in our town that weekend….but she DID invite my parents who live 2000 miles away…ha hah!!!…. the marraige didn’t even last a year….

Post # 15
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2008

One of my close friends had a huge, fancy engagement party hosted by her parents at their home last Fall.  Not only did she register for the engagement party, but I actually overheard her mother talking about how many gifts she hoped she would receive.  They had a huge tent set up outside their house with bartenders and servers and a video playing all night with their pictures.  I’m going to be honest with you….I thought it was really alot of overkill.  Everyone brought expensive gifts because I think they felt obligated.  I had already bought her an engagement gift when she got engaged but I felt like i had to buy another one for the party.  She has almost everything off her registry already.  I just think it becomes overkill after awhile.  I guess it’s because my mother told me upfront when I got engaged that she didn’t believe in engagement parties because it is one more excuse for people to buy you a gift.  I totally support a casual get together but sometimes I just have a bad taste in my mouth after engagement parties.  I know some people might disagree with me on this.  it’s just a personal preference.

Post # 16
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

my best friend had a registry set up for their engagement party and even (tackily enough) included registry cards with the dinner invite.she got tonnes of gifts but their wedding was 3 months later and they got 2 gifts and some cards.

i am refusing to do my registry until closer to the wedding date and we actually will have gifts at our engagement party because it wont really be an engagement party, we are announcing it at our annual christmas party in december, so the presents will be for everyone else hahah .

i think wine or a cute card is good for an engagement party

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