(Closed) Can you throw yourself an engagement party?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Is throwing yourself an engagement party tacky?
    YES : (20 votes)
    33 %
    NO : (30 votes)
    50 %
    Depends on how you do it... (explain below) : (10 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    Are you guys footing the bill or are you just inviting people to a restaurant and everyone foots their own bill?

    We sort of threw ourselves one, it was just going to be a graduation party, but then we got engaged and both sets of parents came grad weekend to meet each other so we turned it into an engagement party.

    A few people brought gifts but most people didn’t.  For us it was mainly local people, we didn’t want to ask people to come a distance just for our little shindig, and since it was mainly local people, it was mainly our grad student friends who were very used to us throwing parties, including for neutering the dog, so it would have I think been more surprising for us not to throw a party.

    Post # 4
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Oh, I accidentally voted yes, but I meant to vote no.  I was looking at the title of the post instead of the actual question.  No, it’s not tacky.  And yes, you can throw your own.  It’s not a gift event, like a shower.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    Nevermind…..

    Post # 6
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    We were going to throw a “family get together” after we got engaged because shortly after the proposal, we went to our hometowns for a summer holiday weekend and wanted the families to get to know each other better. But then, my MIL offered to throw a bigger “engagement party” so that plan died.

    I think if you don’t word it as an “engagement party,” you’ll be fine. Sometimes guests DO bring gifts or cards to an engagement party, and if you’re the ones hosting, you don’t want to seem like you’re fishing for stuff. Call it a family meet and greet 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If the guest list is small, you could just spread the word by word-of-mouth that gifts aren’t expected. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Oops, I did the same thing. I voted ‘Yes’ based on the post title, but I meant “No’ it is not tacky. Why would it be? It is just a party to annouce the engagement and if the couple in paying for the wedding, why not?

    The only thing I would think would be tacky is throwing yourself a shower, but that is because I find showers mostly about gifts…so it is like saying “I want more gifts!” JMHO though. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    13662 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    You can ABSOLUTELY throw yourselves an engagement party!!! Just make sure that guests know you aren’t expecting gifts. 🙂

    Post # 12
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I wouldn’t call it an engagement party (since that seems like something that would be held FOR you not BY you) but if you want to host a night to have your families all get together then that’s fine.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2209 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It sounds like a good idea. The only thing I think you should do is spread by word of mouth that this is about getting things off to a good start, not about gifts.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4486 posts
    Honey bee

    Engagement parties are not done in most areas, nor are they heard of. I have yet to see anything about them in any of the etiquette books. There is no reason you can’t host a party yourselves announcing your engagement if you wish. You’ll be announcing it to pretty much everyone anyway so having a party shouldn’t be that offensive. Don’t register at all for it since it is not a gift giving occasion. If someone does give you gifts, accept them graciously with prompt thank you notes though.

    Post # 16
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We threw a “meet and greet” which is essentially the same thing. Go for it. People love an excuse to party and if you got off to a bad start, may be a great chance at a new beginning.

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