Cancel Mountain wedding for Mexico wedding???? SO CONFUSED!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly, just from the tone of your writing talking about one versus the other, I think it sounds like Mexico would be a better option for you. The entire tone of the post changed when you started talking about your second option! I would take the plunge and go for it! 

Post # 3
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

abm0611:  We are maybe location-twins! I am getting married in Estes in October. Do you mind me asking your venues?

As to your situation, I would first research the Mexico location heavily and see reviews. Make sure it is really a viable option before stressing too heavily. If both are viable, take some time away from it, close your eyes and imagine your wedding. What does it look like, how many people are there, what is the vibe? Do what feels best to you.

This is your FI’s and your day and if some people are making it difficult that is there issue, not yours, and you should continue with what feels right for you. In either event I would have your FI tell his family that you both love them and want them there and if they choose not to attend they will be missed. Period. No more manipulation or guilt trips allowed. If they start those conversations you can change the topic, leave the room, even hang up the phone if necessary. 

I sometimes need to remind myself that at the end of the day, the end result will be the same. I’ll be happily married and in a location where I feel truly happy and peaceful. I am certain it will be the same for you no matter which location you end up choosing!

Post # 4
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I got married in Mexico and it was WONDERFUL!!!!! It was only me and my DH, no family….. it was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. We too wouldn’t have been able to afford a separate honeymoon, and so we done what was right for US. My mum wasn’t too happy that we were doing it when we were as it didn’t give her time to save up for it in order to come and was pressurising me to move it to a year later, other family members were giving us grief etc.. and in the end I threw my hands up in the air and told everyone that no-ones coming and it would just be us! (DH’s family couldn’t come anyway as they were already on vacation!!) And it was the best decision I made! 

We had 2 weeks away… 10 days at The Beloved Hotel in Playa Mujeres (the service is out of this world!) and then I took DH to the Florida Keys for 4 days as a little wedding present after. (We’re from the UK). all in all, it cost us less than what a traditional wedding would have done back home. And as we were paying for it all, then I wasn’t going to do anything just to keep anyone else happy. 

My Dad paid for an amazing photographer (we couldn’t afford one ourselves) which meant that at least family got to see fabulous pics of our day. You could always look into setting up a web-cam type thing of your day for those who couldn’t be with you should you decide on Mexico. 

This is YOUR and your FI’s day. Do what is right for you! 

PS. IF you do go for Mexico, check out Moment’s That Matter photography. 

Post # 5
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

So, I vote for sticking with the Mountains, because losing $1,000 seems silly, especially if it risks major family not being there. Go to Mexico for your honeymoon.

Post # 7
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

There’s a lot going on here and most of it shouldn’t factor in your decision. 1. You shouldnt beg ANYONE to come to your wedding. 2. Some ppl will trip no matter what (his parents, your grandparents, your friends who want to bring kids). 3. You should think of the wedding you want within your budget and have it- no point to do a destination wedding if you’re choosing it to alleviate stress of #s 1 or 2 because it won’t change those at all. It’ll give ppl more to complain about (expense, time, more travel, smaller guest list) and leave you feeling more guilty, so only have a destination wedding if that’s what you and your FI really want and if you’re both fully fine with ppl not being there. 

Dont pick a destination wedding spontaneously or afger only checking with one side. Think this through and really have your FI think it through also. If it’s the same amount of money, that shouldn’t factor in at all. If all couples changed their wedding location/style every time someone complained about their plan, nobody’d ever get married. Pick what you all personally like most after careful consideration and then do it. Good luck 

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

abm0611:  I know exactly where that is! I am sure you guys will make the perfect decision either way. Good luck!! 

Post # 11
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Oh so your family is paying for the other $5k of the mountain idea?

Post # 13
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

abm0611:  I think what it comes down to is whether your FI is ok with his family not being there if they aren’t able to make it. Beyond that, Mexico sounds like a better deal all around. 

Post # 14
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

abm0611:  We also had a large wedding planned out and just under a year out canceled it all and rescheduled an intimate wedding at an all-inclusve in Mexico for half the price (we lost just inder $1K in deposits but with the savings it still came out cheaper). It’s not for everyone but we loved it and looking back, even thought it’s not been quite a year yet, the decision was perfect for us and we have zero regrets. I know the same would not be true of the large wedding we were planning. If you two are a laid-back couple and only half the family is making any effort I say go for it! Marriage licenses in Mexico are a little more difficult than the states (blood tests, spanish paperwork, original birth certificates & signatures, 3 day waiting period before the wedding, very strict legal ceremony wording, etc.), and many couples get married here in the states at the courthouse before-hand (it might even save you $$ & you get to customize your ceremony more).  DH’s immediate family loved the mexico idea except his mom, who refused to go into drug country as she put it. However, my family was not able to make it due to finances (our orig. wedding plan was near our home in CA, they are all in GA and knew a year and half before hand but my mom and grandparents I found out just weren’t able to save any $$ and flipping out trying to find a way to pay for flights). After dealing with a few fights over how each of us would feel without certain people there we just made the wedding super small. DH got to invite a couple from his side (his borther & his wife), I got to invite a couple from my side (my brother & his gf). It saves us some heartaches, money, and it made it much easier to do things with everyone once we got to Mexico. Wish you two the best of luck in your decision!! Let me know if you have any questions on the process- we got married in the state of Quinta Roo on the Island of Isla Mujeres (a half hour ferry ride from cancun) at Privilege Aluxes and loved every single minute of it. Their packages are pretty reasonable if you are considering the cancun area.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  .
Post # 15
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It sounds like the chose the mountain wedding to make it easy for all involved and then were met with resistance when you thought you had chosen something you’d be happy with and would be easier on everyone.  $1000 is not much considering what you’ll save and gain overall.. I’d go with Mexico, you really do sound more excited about it 🙂

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